Written but unpublished till now.

I've found myself sighing whistfully about the sybian. I loaded up some videos of it in action and found myself getting incredibly wet.

It's been a long time since I've gotten really wet without even having to touch myself a little. And really, if I'm honest my wetness had nothing to do with the sybian and everything to do with female orgasm.

There's something so fucking hot about watching another woman cumming. Years ago, when I was first getting into the idea that I could fuck whomever I want, I engaged in a lot of phone sex with men far too far away. One of my more "adventurous" calls involved a guy from the midwest named Kevin. Kevin asked if he could call me and get another girl on the line. I don't remember much of what he said, anymore, though I know he talked quite a bit. No, what drove me to orgasm, finally, was hearing her.

He informed me that "she's VERY orgasmic" even as he encouraged her to her next orgasm. Me, well, I've never been all that orgasmic. However, after reaching my first orgasm around the time of her first, and listening to her building toward a second orgasm, I found myself in the midst of my own second, unlikely orgasm. I came hard, of quietly, shyly depriving them of the pleasure of hearing me cum as I listened intently to her moans.

Once she came a second time he gently disengaged me from the call, telling me he wanted some private time with her, or something like that and I lay on my bed afterward entirely sure I could have had a continued series of orgasms had he only been willing to let us both stay on the line.

After that call, I considered briefly and finally cold called another of my willing phone sex partners who graciously (and gratefully) accompanied me to a third very neccessary orgasm.

Oddly, I don't have particularly strong urges to have sex with another woman. However, I imagine should I ever "accidentally" find myself in the position to do so, it might be a very, very long night.

Adventures in Toyland

I've sent off for a new toy. Well, actually a pair of new toys. Well, really, two versions of the same thing.

I will soon be the possessor of my very own "rabbit" vibrator.

Unfortunately, when I say "soon" I'm pretty sure I don't even mean THIS WEEK. But, you know, eventually. Especially with new years day falling in the middle of all this. *sigh*

I'm hopeful the wait will be well worth the pay off. Preferably, repeated pay offs.

Christmas

I spent much of the Christmas holiday with family. At one point we spent some time with my husband's family. At which point my entirely way too fucking hot relative by marriage insisted on calling me, repeatedly, by my relation name to himself. "Hey, cuz," he would say, pointedly, even as I envisioned ripping his clothes off his body and making him my love slave.

He is not my cousin. He is not a relative of mine at all. There is no blood between us. Body fluids would be fine, but no familial blood.

So I spent several days fantasizing about his hard, naked body. This all just before my period, the horniest time in my month. I was finally unable to resist any longer and found myself masturbating furiously, envisioning his fingers and mouth and all the wonderful things I'd make him do with them. Far from home and sadly without any of my normal implements of pleasure I found myself with a hair brush handle buried in my pussy and my fingers stroking my clit in earnest. I came like I haven't in a long time and lay panting on the bed for several minutes after, knowing he was no more than about 20 feet from me the entire time.

No doubt he knows I want him. Not to keep, just to fuck a few times....

Besides my taboo fantasies, husband managed to fuck me for several minutes for the first time in... well... I don't know how long it's been. We could only manage the slowest, most tender sex, though, because the bed kept creaking and there were too many witnesses in the house. I was terribly disappointed. But it felt so god damned good to be filled again, to feel cock inside me for those few minutes....

Gay-ass porn

While all of my roomies were gone, I raided my gay roomie's porn cabinet for some amusement. He gave me permission to borrow, though I wasn't sure that he meant it. Still, he said it and I left only fingerprints so I don't feel too badly about it. In fact, given the stunning quality of the movie, I must say I feel pretty good about the whole thing.

As it turns out, men in gay porn are hot. My roomie and I have the same taste in men and his porn collection stunningly depicts this fact. It was really, really sexy. I was so pleased.

I'm going to be very sad when he moves out.

Charisma

Yesterday I spent a very large chunk of my day with a very charismatic gay man. Reasonably attractive, he has the confidence of a much better looking man... but none of the ego.

And it was irresistible.

I'm a horny girl, I'll give you that. Horny and unfucked for a very, very long time. So I'm particularly susceptible to seduction.

I got up early this morning and masturbated, having a very fast, very satisfying orgasm. That is how much the guy stirred me up. I couldn't NOT masturbate. I had to scratch that particular itch. I feel more normal now. More able to control my loins and my thoughts.

Anyway, the whole point to this... and the conversation I had with my sister is the following... how does one actually become that charismatic? There has to be a way to create that. My sister thinks some people are just born that way. I think that may be true to a point. But not completely true. I think there must be a lot more to it than just genetics or some kind of early socialization. There simply has to be a way to learn it, doesn't there?

There are a ton of books on the subject. But really, if they worked wouldn't so many more of us be charismatic?