Org

Ah, how I love warcraft. Ahem.

Last night husband and I had a wonderful wonderful romp in the sack. It was great. Once again I gave myself a stellar orgasm. Husband lay under me, looking impressed and amazed. "That was fast. I'm jealous." he told me. He should be. It's funny that I cum faster than he does. It's exceptionally gratifying, too, to actually be in a place where I can guarantee I will be having an orgasm. There's no doubt and no question.

Now if I can just figure out how to have two.

So last night before going to bed, husband started getting a little frisky. I think he was offering to go down. Alas, it's barely been a day and a half since my period ended and well... things weren't feeling so fresh. I declined (as usual for me, really). So husband began massaging my pussy through my pants. It was really, really nice. He was perfectly rough and utterly irresistible. I lay back, moaning a little. Thinking just maybe I could get into this. "I wish I had magic hands like that guy in Needful Things," he said. I thought about it for a moment, "I have no idea what you're talking about." "You know, " he told me, "that scene you liked so much where he gets her off." I thought about it for a long moment before agreeing "ah, the sheriff. I remember now, sort of. I'd forgotten."

I was quiet a long moment as he continued his delightful assault before I added "maybe you do. Maybe I'm just not the right woman." He was quick to disagree, "I'm doing better with you than my last wife. At least you have orgasms." Then he continued "she used to really think chocolate was better than sex. Without the orgasms, I can see maybe that'd be true. Maybe. But she didn't even want to TRY."

I considered a moment and said, "I had some really good chocolate the other day. Like *really* good. Like maybe better than sex WITH an orgasm good." "I want some of that," he told me. I smiled evilly, "It was mint." He hates mint.

Then he got up and brushed his teeth and got ready for bed. I followed suit except managed to gag on my toothbrush, thus effectively ending my tooth brushing experience and making me more than reticent to put my mouth anywhere near my husband. And that was that for the night.

Now, I find myself thinking about hunting the book down again and reading it. I do remember being rather turned on by that scene. I don't remember much of the specifics, though.

Fucking Husband.

Last night, maybe 26 hours ago by the clock I got laid. Finally. Oh my god. Husband and I finally managed to get ourselves together and we had sex. It wasn't good sex. But it was nice sex. If only because it'd been so long. He fucked me for a while and I finally decided to get myself off. I think it took less than a minute. He was amazed. I told him I'd been practicing.

His own orgasm was more delayed. Funny how that works. It took what seemed like forever. He was embarrassed as he shyly asked if he could cum on me. "Where?" I asked, wondering about the logistics since we were laying side by side. "Where ever," he replied evasively. FUCK. We've been married ten years. He can't tell me he wants to cum on me somewhere in particular? "I need to know WHERE," I told him, "I really, really prefer it not be a surprise." He was quite a long moment before saying "Well, your tits would be fine. I mean, your face would be great but.... your tits would be fine." It's funny to me, his fear of suggesting cumming on my face. I wonder what it means for him? He ended up coming on my tits. Positioning was just too hard as things went for it to be a facial though it was my goal to give him that pleasure.

Afterward, we snuggled together for a long while. He kept touching me, rubbing, caressing... and it became not just annoying but actually grating. I had to leave. He's been trying to be sexy with his touches, but they just irritate me. I like hard touches, massaging... not tickling not caresses. Not like THAT. Since when doesn't he know that? Or did things change? Is it me?

He wanted to fuck again today. I passed. I think I'm going through PMS. It's not pretty.

I did finally masturbate tonight. I came hard. My insides are still swollen and tender from last night's long-awaited fucking. I'm definitely going to need more, soon. Just not tonight, honey....

Feeling

You know the best feeling in the world? New batteries in my rabbit. Awesome.

A New Lease

For whatever reason, things have been going swimmingly, lately. I live in my own room, now. My husband has the king beg to himself (well, himself and the dogs) and I have my little twin all to myself in the next room (with adjoining doors). I sleep better than ever, I'm happy to say.

The side note on this is that if we want to spend time together, we have to make time. Every evening we find time to snuggle either in his bed or out on the deck. And he actually makes the time. He invites me out to snuggle. We talk. It's really, really nice. The last few months have been some of the best of our marriage.

Unfortunately, while we occasionally make out we still haven't had sex in... years? I did just give him a blow job after we engaged in a pleasant bout of heavy petting. So maybe that counts.

I'm trying very hard not to care. Not to focus, too much. It's actually working pretty well. I'm mostly happy. Definitely happy with him....

Fool!

Ha ha, I'm a fool.

Anyway, as it turns out I put my comments on "moderate" and then forgot about them. For apparently about the last 5 months. Oops.

Yes, the mail finally came. Yes, the rabbit vibrator is everything I've heard. Although I'm still often frustrated by my inability to come at the flip of a switch. It takes longer than that. Dammit.

I've been idly perusing craigslist's casual encounters. Undoubtedly I won't use it. Some guy from Virginia sent me a yahoo IM. If he was ever on my YIM that meant fucking him was at least a possibility. However, I found myself gazing tiredly at the screen and quickly finding myself something else to do. He'll be in the area, he tells me. I don't care. I don't care about anything to do with him....

Husband has been acting more amorous toward me. I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm being more flirtatious towards him, too. I want to be fucked. But we never seem to find the time. I must not want it bad enough. Thank god there's always porn....

TV

No doubt I'm a deep down slut. I never take advantage of my freedom to explore that anymore. However, I still find myself aching for that singular pleasure of a new man's fingers on my skin, the sensation of a new mouth and tongue, and discovering the pleasures of his hard cock. I love the electricity of a new lover.

The reason I bring this up is that I was watching one of those reality shows and there was much kissing involved. Which reality show? Well, I'll leave that to you to guess. The thing is a relative called to inform me that someone I know is on the show. "Know" is generous. I remember his name. And the thing is... I remember he wasn't all that to look at when I was growing up. I mean, he was okay. But oh my god he's gotten much hotter, now. And I got to watch him kissing some other girl and it got me thinking....

Which led to much masturbation. And a vague sense of shame that I'm so very easily led to masturbate about someone at 29 that I couldn't be bothered to masturbate about when I was 16.... you know... when I was all about masturbation and wanting to be fucked....

Update

I've stopped bothering to keep track of how long it's been since I haven't had sex. I miss my libido but I've pretty much just let it go for now. It matters not at all. Well. Not much. I still masturbate, but as a way of release and relaxation rather than for true enjoyment and pleasure.

The other day, Husband was kissing on me and I rolled over. I would have actually gone along with it it, had it not been 10:30 on a night when I should have gone to sleep by 9:30... and had been stressed and sick all day. Okay, okay, there are always excuses. But seriously. And then the next day I got my period. The weird thing is, I'm usually super horny the night before I start but not that night. And certainly not since!

I'm still having something of a crush on my gay coworker. On his good days. Except I swear I've slept with a guy with a body just like his and been completely weirded out by the thinness of his hips and ass.... and the hugeness of his cock. All of which appear to be true of this particular guy. So weird.

Other than that, though... it's all about video games and work. I bounce between the two with little time or thought left over between.

Written but unpublished till now.

I've found myself sighing whistfully about the sybian. I loaded up some videos of it in action and found myself getting incredibly wet.

It's been a long time since I've gotten really wet without even having to touch myself a little. And really, if I'm honest my wetness had nothing to do with the sybian and everything to do with female orgasm.

There's something so fucking hot about watching another woman cumming. Years ago, when I was first getting into the idea that I could fuck whomever I want, I engaged in a lot of phone sex with men far too far away. One of my more "adventurous" calls involved a guy from the midwest named Kevin. Kevin asked if he could call me and get another girl on the line. I don't remember much of what he said, anymore, though I know he talked quite a bit. No, what drove me to orgasm, finally, was hearing her.

He informed me that "she's VERY orgasmic" even as he encouraged her to her next orgasm. Me, well, I've never been all that orgasmic. However, after reaching my first orgasm around the time of her first, and listening to her building toward a second orgasm, I found myself in the midst of my own second, unlikely orgasm. I came hard, of quietly, shyly depriving them of the pleasure of hearing me cum as I listened intently to her moans.

Once she came a second time he gently disengaged me from the call, telling me he wanted some private time with her, or something like that and I lay on my bed afterward entirely sure I could have had a continued series of orgasms had he only been willing to let us both stay on the line.

After that call, I considered briefly and finally cold called another of my willing phone sex partners who graciously (and gratefully) accompanied me to a third very neccessary orgasm.

Oddly, I don't have particularly strong urges to have sex with another woman. However, I imagine should I ever "accidentally" find myself in the position to do so, it might be a very, very long night.

Adventures in Toyland

I've sent off for a new toy. Well, actually a pair of new toys. Well, really, two versions of the same thing.

I will soon be the possessor of my very own "rabbit" vibrator.

Unfortunately, when I say "soon" I'm pretty sure I don't even mean THIS WEEK. But, you know, eventually. Especially with new years day falling in the middle of all this. *sigh*

I'm hopeful the wait will be well worth the pay off. Preferably, repeated pay offs.

Christmas

I spent much of the Christmas holiday with family. At one point we spent some time with my husband's family. At which point my entirely way too fucking hot relative by marriage insisted on calling me, repeatedly, by my relation name to himself. "Hey, cuz," he would say, pointedly, even as I envisioned ripping his clothes off his body and making him my love slave.

He is not my cousin. He is not a relative of mine at all. There is no blood between us. Body fluids would be fine, but no familial blood.

So I spent several days fantasizing about his hard, naked body. This all just before my period, the horniest time in my month. I was finally unable to resist any longer and found myself masturbating furiously, envisioning his fingers and mouth and all the wonderful things I'd make him do with them. Far from home and sadly without any of my normal implements of pleasure I found myself with a hair brush handle buried in my pussy and my fingers stroking my clit in earnest. I came like I haven't in a long time and lay panting on the bed for several minutes after, knowing he was no more than about 20 feet from me the entire time.

No doubt he knows I want him. Not to keep, just to fuck a few times....

Besides my taboo fantasies, husband managed to fuck me for several minutes for the first time in... well... I don't know how long it's been. We could only manage the slowest, most tender sex, though, because the bed kept creaking and there were too many witnesses in the house. I was terribly disappointed. But it felt so god damned good to be filled again, to feel cock inside me for those few minutes....

Gay-ass porn

While all of my roomies were gone, I raided my gay roomie's porn cabinet for some amusement. He gave me permission to borrow, though I wasn't sure that he meant it. Still, he said it and I left only fingerprints so I don't feel too badly about it. In fact, given the stunning quality of the movie, I must say I feel pretty good about the whole thing.

As it turns out, men in gay porn are hot. My roomie and I have the same taste in men and his porn collection stunningly depicts this fact. It was really, really sexy. I was so pleased.

I'm going to be very sad when he moves out.

Charisma

Yesterday I spent a very large chunk of my day with a very charismatic gay man. Reasonably attractive, he has the confidence of a much better looking man... but none of the ego.

And it was irresistible.

I'm a horny girl, I'll give you that. Horny and unfucked for a very, very long time. So I'm particularly susceptible to seduction.

I got up early this morning and masturbated, having a very fast, very satisfying orgasm. That is how much the guy stirred me up. I couldn't NOT masturbate. I had to scratch that particular itch. I feel more normal now. More able to control my loins and my thoughts.

Anyway, the whole point to this... and the conversation I had with my sister is the following... how does one actually become that charismatic? There has to be a way to create that. My sister thinks some people are just born that way. I think that may be true to a point. But not completely true. I think there must be a lot more to it than just genetics or some kind of early socialization. There simply has to be a way to learn it, doesn't there?

There are a ton of books on the subject. But really, if they worked wouldn't so many more of us be charismatic?

Cock Watching

So the other day my coworker got something on his pants. Which required him to spend a while wiping at his crotch. And left me with a valid reason to stare at his crotch and giggle. Except I just kept thinking "it's just so... big...." Staring at his cock through his pants I imagined it looks just like that of "the ex." The same curve and broadness. So obvious. I'm so jealous he's wasting it on some guy. Some person who isn't ME....

Blog on, dude!

It's funny how taking a long while off from posting makes coming up with titles for posts much easier. Even if they don't always make sense.

Anyway. I looked in the mirror, after reading a recent comment, and realised I very much live in the past. Not ALL the time. But enough of it. Isn't that the human condition?

Just Long Enough

I swear Keith comes around just long enough to make me... well... long for him. And then he goes away again. Which is all internet contact. God knows why we've never traded phone numbers once he moved back to the states. My cell number might actually even be local for him since when I got it they gave me a strange Maryland phone number and he's in that general vicinity.

Then again, god, what would we talk about? The same old rehashing of what I already know... ie we still want one another but we're too far away and boy, oh, boy weren't those some great days together....

I swear I spend great portions of my life these days longing for what used to be. I miss the crushes I had on the cops, I miss all the casual sex I had. Even some of the bad stuff. At least it was something to write about... to think about... to do....

Among my favorite activities has always been to fuck someone I "shouldn't." I slept with an officer (or two) for just that reason. And of course a couple of other "taboo" boys before I left. Some of the thrill has worn off since my husband left the military... they're not quite as taboo as they were... but I still can't help but smile a little, thinking about it. I want more of THAT. Except, as it turns out, there's less of that kind of excitement in the real world. Fewer rules.

And let's just get this one clear... I'm SOOOO not fucking anyone from work. None of them are acceptable for that purpose. Which just leaves me sad.

I do have an option of a local computer geek. I adore computer geeks, a preference dating back to my formative teenage years. But I can't bring myself to be passionately interested in him the way I'd hoped. Then again, we haven't met. There could be some major sparks. Or we could create some....

But, yeah. I'm not really sure what to do with myself, still. Other than sit and pine for my beloved Keith who is so far away, and so very kinky-sexy.

Beating

Sometimes I think about hitting him. Hard. With his own belt, since I never wear one. I want to watch the clench of his mucles and the way his body arches away, or even toward the strap.

I give in to sin, because you have to make this life livable...

Three songs:

The Weekend-- Steve Wariner
When Will I Let Go-- Steve Wariner
Strange Love-- Depeche Mode

Share and share...

So I told my gay housemate that if he found a nice bisexual guy I'd be very willing to share him. He laughed. I was kind of serious. But then decided that might be annoying.

I'm pretty sure my gay housemate would be willing to sleep with my husband if husband were into it. Unfortunately, my husband refuses to admit any interest. I guess that's okay because he'd probably discover that he's totally gay and that'd be the end of my marriage. Which might not be so bad because....

I spent the vast majority of the drive home from the next state over listening to random songs from my ipod and considering which ones most make me think of Keith. Whom I've been very good about NOT posting about for a very, very long time, I think.

He and I haven't had a lot of contact of late. He's a busy, independant guy with plenty to do besides have me moon at him. Which is great. But it's hard to build any sort of relationship/friendship on something like that. That doesn't mean I don't miss him and think of fucking his brains out on a regular basis.

Frankly, I'm pretty sure I'm still kind of saving myself for him. I've tried sleeping around (a year ago, granted) and found it to be less than satisfying. My fantasies still pretty much revolve around him. It's sad, pathetic, and obsessive.

Meanwhile, one of the men that I work with (men in power, mind you) came walking in on his day off. He's a fairly attractive middle aged guy, smart, and rather funny. He was wearing a sweatshirt with a big red circle in the middle. I had a moment where I had to pause and take a second look. Except it wasn't what I thought it was. However, I found myself entertaining the thought and finding myself very turned on by the idea. I really liked the idea of him being into something vaguely kinky like that. Delicious. Except he's not. So... you know... nevermind. I'm over it. But there was a moment there.

And now for something completely different...

I hit 86. The sad thing is, I own several of the movies on here, but still haven't bothered to watch them. But really, despite what it says, I think a better indication of whether you have a life or not is if you take the time to #1 read this, and even more importantly... #2 do it yourself.


SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 89 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 266 movies on this list. Copy this list. Then, put x's next to the movies you've seen, add them up, and share your number. Have fun!
(X) Rocky Horror Picture Show
() Grease
(X) Pirates of the Caribbean
() Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
(X) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(X) Neverending Story
(X) Blazing Saddles
(X) Universal Soldier
(X) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
() KingPin
(X) Never Been Kissed
(X) Meet The Parents
(X) Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
()KING KONG
(X) A Cinderella Story
() The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(X) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
() The Ring
(X) The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(X) Flubber
(X) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
() Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
(X) The Day After Tomorrow
(X) Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
(X) Nightmare on Elm Street
(X) Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
() The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Seven
() Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
(X) Bourne Identity
(X) Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
(X) Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
() Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
(X) Independence Day
(X) Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(X) ET
(X) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
(X Maid in Manhattan
(X) War of the Worlds
() Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
() Best Bet
(X) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
(X) Ever After
(X) Wizard of Oz
(X) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(X) The Terminator 2
() The Terminator 3
(X) X-Men
(X) X2
(X) X-3
(X) Spider-Man
(X) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
(X) The Little Mermaid
(X) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(X) Shrek
() Shrek 2
() Swimfan
(X) Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
(X) The Notebook
(X) K-Pax
() Kippendorf's Tribe
(X) A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(X) The 40-year-old-virgin
(X) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(X) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(X) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(X) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(X) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(X) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
() Baseketball
(X) Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
() Elf
(X) Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
() The Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(X) Monsters Inc.
(X) Titanic
(X) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(X) Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
() High Tension
() Club Dread
(X) Hulk
(X) Dawn Of the Dead
(X) Hook
(X) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(X) 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld
(X) Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
(X) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
(X) Army of Darkness
(X) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(X) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(X) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(X) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(X) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
() Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
(X) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix Reloaded
(X) The Matrix Revolutions
(X) Animatrix
(X) Evil Dead
(X) Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
(X) Red Dragon
(X) Silence of the Lambs
(X) Hannibal
() Battle Royale
() Battle Royale 2
() Brazil
() Contact
() Cube
() Dr. Strangelove
() Enlightenment Guaranteed
(X) Four Rooms
(X) Memento
() Pi
() Requiem for a Dream
(X) Pulp Fiction
() Reservoir Dogs
() Run Lola Run
() Russian Ark
() Serenity
(X) Sin City
() Snatch
() Spider
(X) The Sixth Sense
(X) The Village
() Waking Life
() Zatoichi
() Ikiru
() The Seven Samurai
() Brick
() Akira