Today one of the girls I work with was telling me how odd one of the girls I never worked with directly but knew anyway was. "She openly admitted she'd have an affair with Cartney!" Now, Cartney was the kind of guy who could probably get just about any American girl he wanted. Cartney came complete with good looks, a sense of humor, and a british accent. I mean... c'mon. Oh, and a wife and kids.
However, I was very glad that I've never mentioned that I have an open relationship. I mean, if admitting you'd have an affair with a guy you never in a million years get a chance with is "weird" then what the fuck kind of freak would I be?
Once again I'm reminded of the sort of double life I lead.
Yesterday a particular cashier looked at me shocked when I said something about my husband. Then said reproachfully, "you don't ACT like you're married." Well, fuck. Who cares? Not like I'm YOUR wife. Move along. However, I happily nodded and said "you're right! It's great!" Today I broached this subject with the girl I work with and said something along the lines of "I think the only time I really act like I'm not married is when Li is around... but he's got a girlfriend so I don't worry too much." But of course, that was utter bullshit. Meant to protect my image.
I kind of resent being "forced" to live the double life or be judged. Must be a lot like being a closeted gay. Much easier to live one's life as two different people than to just openly be one's self all the time. Unfortunately, they tend to leak into one another just that much too much.
On a side note, Li was not at work today and won't be there next week because we don't need him to come in. Hopefully the next time I work a Monday he'll be there. Because I want to fuck his brains out and there's no way to make that happen when he's not around. I wonder if he has e-mail. I hate the telephone.
No word from my ex. Guess he didn't really want to fuck me. C'est la vie.
2 comments:
As a general rule the less the world knows about your private life the better off you are. You never know when something will come back and bite you in the ass. The world is full of intolerant people who can see nothing beyond their narrow existence.
I tend to agree. On the other hand I like to be open and honest and find it really hard to keep a secret. It irritates. But I guess that bit of difficulty is the price I must pay for all the happiness good sex brings. :-)
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