So I figure I need to explain myself a little better. I think the assumption is that I'm afraid no one will want me anymore when I turn 30. Or now. Or something. Look, I'm not thrilled by the idea of turning 30 but I have another 11 months to cope. By the end of that time, I will hopefully find the whole thing very empowering... yada yada yada.
The thing with the age, though, is more about me when I was younger. About my views on sex and sexuality and age. As I get older I realize there are differences in maturity levels and it becomes clear that what I thought was acceptable at 19 isn't the same thing that I find acceptable at 29. While my own age preferences have gone up the IDEA of an "age preference" has become less important. At eighteen, twenty-nine seemed very mature, very sinister. Now, though, I realize that it's not SO much different. Different, yes, different enough that I don't want anything to do with eighteen year olds. That level of maturity is just... annoying. But to exclude someone because they're older than me... by some set amount... doesn't really make a lot of sense, anymore.
Turns out, maybe being "older" isn't that big of a deal.
Which isn't to say I don't still require a certain level of attractiveness. I'm a young American, after all. And there are social rules that have been drilled into me.
So now I can look at people who say they want someone no more than age 32 and shake my head in wonder at their naivety. I don't want that person. They clearly have more growing to do and if they aren't interested in me two years from now, I'm not so interested in them right now. But more importantly, who the hell says they're interested in older women, but not over 32. Who the fuck told them 33 was old and that anyone anywhere near that age (or under) would want to be described as "older"?!?
6 comments:
I used to worry about turning 30. Now, at 35 I worry about what 40 will feel like. At 35 I am having the best sex of my life! You just become so much more confident. Hopefully, at 40 I will still be having hot sex!
That's what I'm hoping for, too. That confidence boost they talk about that comes about as you get past your 20's. I'm at least part way there but feel like I have a way to go, yet.
like jill, i will be 35 in less than a month.
i tell you this. i would MUCH rather be having sex at the age of 35 than i would if i were 18 or even 25.
it's funny how your tastes and passions change as you mature. still, if i had the opportunity to bag a 45-yo man, there is no way in hell i would do it. ugh. not even remotely interested.
but give me a 25-yo? i'd bang him like a cheap chinese gong over a bed of steamed rice. HELL, YEAH! i get the opportunity to do so on nearly a weekly basis, too. damn you, wedding ring!
Age is just a number. I'll be 271 next January, and the plumbing still works fine.
What I find liberating about being this age... ok, I am 38... is that I appeal to the younger set AND the older set. It's like I have universal appeal! I have been told I don't look 38, (I've been mistaken for 28, yay!) but I have that calmness and maturity that comes with growing up. Things are not that dramatic for me anymore. Gosh, young women can be soo annoying... mainly because everything in their lives is so dramatic... It's what we've got going for us that young men find attractive, and yet we are still young enough that older men are attracted to our vibrancy and passion.
Whew, that was long winded... I hope you get my point... embrace your age... These thirties are awesome!
Christine
Your age by the numbers doesn't mean much. How you act, feel, and look are are the important factors. To a large extent we are only as old as we let ourselves become.
I actually hadn't noticed the age limitation postings on Craigslist but then again I don't spend much time on there. I do know that a lot of sites have an age range you can select to find partners. I have to wonder if those that make such posts on Craigslist with arbitrary age ranges aren't doing that with those age range searches in mind. To help them weed out what they somehow figure a person would be or look like beyond a certain age.
I am only 27 but have the baby face of a 16 year old and have actually gotten accosted walking past a high school by teachers thinking I was skipping class. I have to wonder if I put my age on such posts, what people who put arbitrary limits on age would expect to be getting just by the number?
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