Disappointment

We agreed to get together a few days later.  Early in the day where we could spend several hours doing whatever sounded sexy and fun.  But I had plans. So we agreed I would text him and let him know when my plans were done and then I'd go to his house.  That morning my planned meeting went fairly quickly so I texted him as much.  He didn't respond.

I went home and got some breakfast, went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and waited.  But nothing came.  I text him again and used another method of contact.  Nothing. I started chatting with another possible conquest and told him a tiny bit about the guy I was planning to meet and my frustration with his lack of text.  I gave him until 11 to respond.  11 Came and went.  The guy I was talking to pointed it out.  And I got upset.

I cried.  I cried because here I had finally met someone again, after ten years, and he'd let me down.  I'd let him inside me and gave him a modicum of trust and he'd thrown it in my face.  I couldn't make it make sense.  This went against everything I knew about this guy.  He was supposed to be communicative and thoughtful.  The kind of guy who wouldn't leave a person hanging without telling them "thanks but no thanks."  He'd written about it.  And here I was, worth less to him than even a quick comment.  Maybe he was dead. I didn't know.  I just knew I had been looking forward to this tryst and just got fucked, but not in the way I wanted.

The guy I was chatting with asked if he masturbated for me if it would help.  I tearily declined.  To be fair, I'd watched him before and was pretty fascinated, but I didn't want to share my teary face with him.

A little later I got a dozen texts from the one I was supposed to meet. All of them came in a second or two, all at once.  Lots of "where are you?  Hello? Must have been a bad first meeting..." among other things.  Fuck me.  I was crying over nothing.  But it still hurt.  I texted him back.  I could tell he got that one.  But I'd written to him using another method of contact, pre-agreed upon and he hadn't responded to that either.  And then the texts broke again.

We finally got a third program and were able to talk.  By then it was too late to see him.  And I looked like I'd been crying.  Because I had been.  Even then, my heart so broken not just from the disappointment but from the fact that I was so easily heartbroken over something like this.

We scheduled another date for the next day.  I made him give me his address and a time.

That night I got drunk.  It was nice.