Secret, Secret....

I have so many amusing work stories from today to share. Except I won't share them here. Except maybe this one...

I was looking for something in the very crowded messy warehouse. I stepped forward to look at a box. A rake came up and hit me hard. On the shoulder. I was glad it was not my face. I said "ow!" very loudly. And then laughed at the slapstick comedy of the whole thing. Turns out it doesn't just happen in cartoons. Damned rakes.

Onto something more interesting.

Last night I considered that'd been several days since I'd masturbated... or even felt the urge. So I decided to do so. I lay in bed while husband was downstairs, but he came upstairs before I was done. So I stopped, trying to seem innocent. He went to the bathroom and I thought "I think I can finish before he's out, and he'll never know! Ha!" so I masturbated with silent abandon. I came within about a minute, the only thing changing was my breathing. As I lay there trying to catch my breath I realised it would be a dead giveaway so I took a couple of deep breaths and calmed my breathing just before husband came out of the bathroom.

"Did you just have an orgasm?" he asked.

How the FUCK did he hear that? I stared at him a second, considering lying. Then admitted I had, and giggled myself silly. He told me he heard my breathing. How the FUCK did he hear that?!?

Damned man, ruining my secret fun.