Total loss.

Late on Tuesday night (could have even been Wednesday morning) I realized it was Valentine's day. As I sat there at a computer in someone else's house I knew exactly how I'd be spending my Valentine's day.

The next day my husband and I dressed up, he in his pants, crisp white tailored shirt, and tie, and myself in pants and button down shirt, both of us dressed more carefully than we had been in months. I tied his tie for him and adjusted the tuck of his shirt, at his request. And then we headed out to the funeral.

I must say, of all the Valentine's day outings I can think of, this was perhaps the least expected and certainly not what I would have chosen had it been up to me. The day was certainly a complete and total loss. However, I never expect (or want) much for Valentine's day and it was nice to see my husband so carefully dressed.

The night before I spent part of the evening being both disgusted by and very attracted to one of my husband's relatives. I've always been attracted to him since he's a handsome guy with great flirting skills. He takes flirting from a hobby to a seemingly well planned seduction. I'm envious of his ability to manipulate me so well, even when I know what he's doing. However, my sense of self preservation keeps me from responding. Not to mention my continuing distaste for much of what he does in his life.

But oh, if he weren't family....