The dogs woke me up early so....

I'm tired, I feel vaguely sick (because I'm tired?) but overall, I'm doing great. For the most part. Who knows. I'm too tired to remember.

I've started hearing from Keith again. I wouldn't call it regularly, but it's close enough for government work. I mean, I rather had a hint that he was back what with his earlier comment on my blog... but I dared not hope. He never does call himself Keith but I've spent so much time referring to him as such that I actually had to pause the other day and try to remember his REAL name. Which is rather funny seeing as I've whispered it quietly to myself, repeatedly, when masturbating. You'd think it'd be hard to forget.

Which brings me back to my rather strange obsession with the man. I find it vaguely annoying, really. It's irrational and stupid. But in a way, that's part of what I like, I suppose.

I got to see him on webcam for the first time in a year or more and it suddenly reminded me of how much my life has changed in the last 6 months. Keith's changed a bit from what I remember him looking like. He's still very much the same person, but far more clean cut than he was before (which isn't to say he looked the hippie, let me tell you). Regardless I found myself vaguely transfixed, having forgotten how different military men look from their civilian counterparts.

This, of course, reminds me of how god damned lucky I was to live on a military base and work with military men for the sole reason that there were so god damned many of them. I fucking LOVED the odds. Being a woman I have a pretty good chance of prettily easily finding someone who wants to fuck me. The odds were considerably better 6 months ago that the guy in question would also happen to be someone I wanted to fuck. Which isn't to say I couldn't do that now, if I was willing to put forth the time and effort. However, I'm still not terribly inclined.

Life is going much better for me, mentally than it was. Husband, on the other hand, is still dealing with unemployment and the fact that we're in a new part of the country without him having a lot of friends or chances to meet new ones. Not being terribly social in the first place, he's at a disadvantage and certainly feels isolated. Me running off to fuck others wouldn't really help with the problem so I'm using that as an excuse to not do so. Not to mention I haven't felt like it for months... that's changing a little right now... but it's still at a manageable level.

On the other hand, with Keith back and talking to me again I find my desires once again focused on him (it's sort of like my hormones finding magnetic north). It's ridiculous, really. But it keeps me out of trouble. Mostly.....