I spent a few hours with one of my recent ex-lovers. He and I have worked fairly hard to remain friends. We keep in touch at least once a month and get together a little less often than that just to hang out.
When we ended our sexual relationship it was super hard on me. It was the most incredible sex I'd been a part of and it was horrible knowing it was going to end. He ended it rather cruelly, leaving me for another woman even after promising me he wouldn't be doing that anytime soon. I forgave him it once when the relationship ended with two weeks. The second time, I told him we would NEVER have sex again. Something which hasn't become much of an issue.
Then yesterday we were talking and what we were talking about made me very emotional. He sat next to me and I tried not to cry on his shoulder. By the end of the conversation his hand was on my leg and I was doing my best to ignore the familiar feelings of want and arousal at his touch, though his fingers never moved. It was comforting to have his hands on me again, if only for a moment, non-sexually.
I still want him. So much.
1 comment:
Is he still unavailable? I know how frustrating it is to have such strong feelings for somone, only to have the feelings go unmatched. Good for you, for staying strong!
xoxo
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