The fact is...

I switched to the beta (although of course now they say they're out of beta) and I fucking loathe it. Okay, okay.. it's not so much the new blogger that I loathe so much as I get frustrated everytime I type out a comment on other peoples blogs only to discover I have to sign on using my google account. Except when I do that my entire comment (usually long... I'm wordy) disappears. So I close the browser and leave the computer. Yeah, it pisses me off. Just a little. My frustration with that bleeds over to my feelings about the blog. Avoidance is the better part of me not breaking the mother fucking computer over this. Or something.

My schedule is all fucked up (I'm slowly working on righting it... but waking up at 3:30 in the morning wasn't in the plan). I STILL don't have a job and I'm getting super pissed. I cannot begin to understand why I haven't been hired even at the entry level positions I've put in for. Entry level in retail, which I've been doing for 10 god damned years. Ridiculous. I get passed over for the higher positions, too. What. The. Fuck?!? It's not rocket surgery, for christ sake. I'm starting to worry that it has something to do with my background check. Except it shouldn't. There's NOTHING negative there. So, anyway, I'm guessing I'm going to have to give in and put in for unemployment which I don't feel really good about. But whatever, that's what it's there for, I suppose.

So, my life is filled with frustration. My orgasms are few and far between (like three whole days can go by!) and my sex life is nothing. Which isn't really a problem for me right now. Despite being jobless I feel like I don't have any TIME (thanks to my fucked up sleep schedule) and frankly, I don't feel like wading through scores of assholes looking for a decent guy to fuck. Searching for a sex partner I think of as worthy is not an easy thing for me as I go through whole weeks and months contacted solely by men who are clearly "special needs" when it comes to women. No thanks. It depresses me. I happen to KNOW there are many great, fuckable men out there. But not all that many of them are local, online, and into me.

Despite all the frustration, I'm somewhat less depressed than I was. For now. Getting a job... and hopefully it being a job I don't hate... will go a long, long way to putting me back on an even keel. And make me my blog a LOT more interesting....