Pondering

I switched to the new blogger. But ugh. I can't bring myself to do anything with it. I should, though. Really....

Meanwhile, I dropped Husband off at work and drove home thinking about The Ex. Actually, I drove home thinking about his kisses. Early in our "relationship" we spent a lot of time kissing. He was a really sexy, sensual guy who understood the value of long kisses and teasing foreplay. Kissing him once meant sex was on its way because I couldn't stop kissing him until he was inside me. His lips made me ache. I commented to him once that he and I shouldn't ever kiss unless we were planning on having sex because it was just too damned hard to stop. And we pretty much stuck to that one.

One night, a few days after he had told me was going to be monogamous with some new girl he kissed me a few times. On the cheek, mostly. But it was enough to raise the hairs on my neck, he turned me on so much. Those kisses were quick, perfunctory and very, very teasing. I told him to stop. We were supposed to be friends, nothing more. Eventually his mouth found mine and I started to respond... then stopped myself, "are you sure?" I asked. He smiled and said the thing with the other girl was over and he knew exactly what he was doing.

Turns out, he was breaking my heart in half. I still wonder if he knew it. But oh, his lips. That night... so many nights....

So tonight as I drove home I drifted back to my memories of his lips. And I found myself wondering if someday, these memories of great lovers will be my best company. Just memories....