Ache

It's that time of the month again. (Well, given the way my body works... that time of the year, but I digress). This is the first time I've started using the Diva Cup. First off, I love it, very very much. But I've yet to actually take it into public. At least at home, it's been great.

So, I was chatting up husband when I was stopped short by the TV. The guy said something about "so you're okay with other men groveling all over your wife." I turned off the TV and asked husband to please demonstrate this to me. Which he did. He moved on top of me and began wiggling begging and groveling and I lay there silently until I finally had to laugh. And then suddenly said "god, I want cock." As it turns out the Diva Cup is much larger in girth than your average feminine hygiene product and which I generally can't feel it... there is a certain strange feeling of "almost fullness" generated by the way I was laying with my husband between my legs.

God, damn I wanted to fuck. But of course, I don't get to.

I did, however, spend a good long time this morning masturbating. I told husband what I was going to do and took care of myself in the bedroom while reading some vaguely erotic stories. In fact, I had some troubles printing them up and was getting really angry that all I ever wanted to do was masturbate to some erotica and couldn't.....

Hours later, husband came in and told me he was going to masturbate. Normally, we don't generally warn one another of our intentions so much as we just try to do it when the other is in bed. For the following reason. I waited a few minutes and wandered out to bug the crap out of him. Three times. The third time I checked out what he was masturbating to (he was quick to close the pictures but I could see the boring, boring descriptions) at which point I found myself realizing what a closet pervert I really am. "Where's the violence? Where's the submission? Skull fucking? SOMETHING?" I asked. It was kind of funny, really. I jerked him off a little and went back to the bedroom and fell asleep.

I could have been more help. But he never asked. He hinted, but I was too tired to pay attention. Too hungry for fucking to tolerate getting him off and leaving me with a limp cock in my hand.

And yet I'm happy today.

I got a message from Keith about 14 days ago, that I didn't get until last week saying he was coming to my city for a few days. I replied and have anxiously checked my emails, myspace, and this page for any hint of response from him but radio silence is complete. I'm both disappointed and a little relieved....