An unreal dream

Being with DB is very much an unreal dream. Our coming together is something altogether overwhelming to me at times. He has flaws. I'm sure soon I'll figure it the fatal one that will ruin the fairy tale fantasy that is in my head.

I don't want to marry him or move in with him. I just want him to be my main guy for sex. And I don't want any beautiful, willing submissive women stepping into my place. Though I know, at some point, I will be usurped. I'm okay with that. Except when I'm not.

DB and I have a nice chemistry that really works. I maintain that my desire for him is at least twice his desire for me... But I've never dared say it. I can only imagine his irritation at my uniquely inflated ego.

Almost every time I see him, I bring a new toy. Tonight I brought an older toy we've never used and a newer flogger. We used both.

While DB flogged me, I cried. Not in sadness, for sure. Just a reaction to the pain and uncertainty. I think he's noticed how much I like to be aware of what he's doing, but he delights in surprising me. Switching floggers or changing to a paddle, without warning. Tonight he warned me not to peek. That delightful fear and anticipation was enough to make me cry.

Afterward, he let me come over and over again as he always does. The beauty of the feelings, the never ending orgasms, feeling him close, it was all enough to bring tears back to my eyes as I came for him.

I crave him. I want him.

And I know it's new relationship energy and sub frenzy and every other thing that comes with a new lover and intense experiences... But I love him, too.