For instance...

I went to DB's place on Friday. I bought a new leather flogger with me. I had opened the box and felt it, sniffed the rich leather scent. But hadn't really played with it. I felt bad for even opening it. It was my gift to DB. But I really couldn't help myself.

My work week was already stressful. And there is something about going to see DB where I get extremely anxious in every sense of the word. I need him, to feel him, and to come with him. But I'm afraid of what will happen, too. Not that he wants to injure me. But being with him is intense in a way I've never felt before. And it's daunting.

When I got to his apartment I sat in the car a few extra moments, telling myself I was doing anything but procrastinating. But that's exactly what I was doing. Fear, excitement. It's a lot.

So I went up the three flights of stairs and knocked on his door. He opened it and let me in as he always does, moving away to give me my space as I set my stuff down and say hi. This time he kissed me hello.

I went and sat down in the couch, sitting on the edge, back straight, slightly away from him as he sat down next to me. Usually I head to the bedroom and strip down before laying on the bed, naked while I wait for him.

I saw that the door to his deck was open and commented on it. He told me it was for the cat's benefit.. We ended up having a brief, weird argument about the cat and the deck and being on the third floor. And then he actually started mansplaining to me. I didn't realise it at the time. But telling my husband about the argument suddenly made me realize that is made it clear to DB that I was very familiar with what I was saying and he still managed to explain it all to me....

Despite that, I gave him the box and he opened it, taking out the flogger. I think I kissed him a moment and he asked if I'd like to go try it out. I laughed and said yes.

I preceded him into the bedroom and stripped, throwing myself down on the bed in the direct breeze from the air conditioner. He fiddled around a bit before I finally feel the gentle slap of the leather on my skin.

That particular flogger, as it turns out, is almost all thud and no sting. It felt like a massage rather than a flogging. DB tried to hit me harder but it was really more of the same. He ultimately ended up switching between that and another flogger with much more sting.

I never thought I'd say it but I really like that sting. Even when it becomes just a bit too much. I like it. I want it.

The session entered as our sessions always do, the magic wand on my clit as he uses the glass dildo on my gspot forcing me to orgasm after wonderful orgasm. I think I could come as long as he had the stamina to let me, although I've been on the edge of "too much" that way, too.

It's a good problem to have.