Damn.

Something about the ex just gets under my skin. I KNOW he's my ex for a reason. I mean, seriously.

He asks me for sex. He changes his mind. He asks me to come sleep with him but NOT have sex... and oh he's so in love with this other girl but she's far away and he's stuck at home alone and I'm so close but all he wants to do is not be alone and can't I just come over? I mean, let's not forget the reason he stopped having sex with me in the first (and second) place was because of another girl he felt the need to be immediately monogamous with and we had to just be friends but can't we just snuggle sometimes?

Let's not forget that his and my relationship, while primarily sexual, was not ALL sexual. And it's funny because much as I love him I think he's a dumbass and I totally disagree with a lot of what he's choosing to do with his life. I feel like I should tell him "ya know... don't talk to me anymore" and yet... we have a really wonderful history and I can't bring myself to end it badly. This slow withering non-death isn't lovely but it's more bareable than being hurtful to him. For a while there he made me feel a lot of things I hadn't felt ever in my life and I appreciated that. It was a fantasy but it was a really great one.

Anyway. I need no advice on this one. There's no help for it. I make my choices and I live with them. I'm not unhappy. Just... confused.

But then we get into a long-ass conversation and I remember... oh, yeah... that's why I like him. That.