Fucking Hell

I badly, BADLY miss the ex and how damned close by he was. Not to mention his having his home to himself. I could essentially get laid at will. It was nearby sex. It was good sex. And I miss it.

I'm horny as hell and I'm pretty much to the point where any half decent offers will be accepted.

Okay, maybe I'm not THAT desperate. However, the one half decent offer I got lately is still looking pretty promising.

I could always see if Trian is still interested but I just have the WORST feeling about getting into bed with him. He's a great guy but he doesn't strike me as being as really... attentive as I crave.

I want someone more like Keith. Passionate, alive, really THERE. But maybe more sort of... violent. I mean, not that I want someone to beat the shit out of me. And not like Keith didn't make sure I woke up the next morning undeniably aware that I'd been fucked and fucked thoroughly.... Ah, I just want Keith back.

But for now... I'm really, seriously considering a local married guy I shouldn't be thinking about. I sincerely doubt he'll be able to even slightly measure up to Keith. I doubt he's into any kind of really interesting play. But god damn.

I want my fucking fantasy of Nils. His cock. The way I envision him pulling my hair or spanking me or... What ever would give him the reaction he wanted. When I think about what I wanted our play time to be, I have to clench my teeth and close my eyes because it's all so vivid....

I'm going through one of these really violent, cravings I get now and again. And I'm going to have to find someone to scratch that itch for me because this is ridiculous. And I need to get fucked. Hard.