You're Beautiful... in an ugly way.

Ha ha. I love Everclear (the band). Husband doesn't, it turns out. They may very well be my favorite band. He stared at me as if I was insane. Oh, well. My childhood sucked more than his did, dammit.

Anyway.

The night before last I think I had my second sleeping orgasm ever. The first came after having a chat conversation with a local hottie involving oral sex. How or why that set me off I can't say, but it was a pretty good orgasm. The one I had the other night... well... in the dream I came (from touching myself, of course) and found myself MORE than ready to have a second orgasm seeing as the first had not even nearly satisfied me. However, I think I woke up shortly after or something because I never did get to even TRY for the second. When I woke up I was debating whether I was actually wet enough to have actually had an orgasm. However, I figure if my brain thinks I came... I musta.

And oddly, yesterday, the guy who was "responsible" for my first nocturnal orgasm IMed me. I still think he's hot and deliciously masculine... but he's moving away and I'm irritated about the last year or so of knowing him. Since I've known him he's gone from being in a very strange open marriage (and available to me) to being in a closed relationship (and basically ignoring me) to being single (and available again). I didn't appreciate the fact that he ignored me so completely for so long and suddenly thinks I'm going to sleep with him. I told him that basically, I'm off the market. Which is (sadly) true.

I've become sexless. And hopeless.

A few months from now I'm almost certainly going to be living in a small town near husband's family (hours from Seattle). How I can (or will) find myself some booty out there in the sticks without it getting around is a bit of a mystery to me. It's not looking good for me at this point. I will amost certainly be celibate for a long time coming. You'd think I'd be more depressed but instead I'm... resigned.

Well, somewhat.

I watched Superman with husband the other day. The romantic scene on the rooftop blew me away. I think my breath caught at one point with my own thwarted desire. I watched a TV show with a VERY similar sort of scene and once again found myself caught up. It's all terribly romantic (but what makes it romantic in the movie would make it personally very painful in real life).

Anyway. I think it's almost that time of the month. Maybe I'll be "normal" next week.