Being Open....

So while I was at work this cute navy boy came into the store. Did I mention he was cute? I rang him up and sent him on his way. He started to walk away then wandered back. I was reasonably sure he had something else to say and the way he was hovering before actually engaging me in conversation made it pretty clear to me which direction this was bound to go.

"So, how did you get a job on a military base?" he asked me. A VERY clever question, if you ask me. The vast majority of the people who do my job are either wives or children of the military. A few are divorcees but generally that's limited to the older, asian women. I don't think I look like the child of a military person, so he should have probably put two and two together... but he did ask. So I mentioned my husband is in the service.

We had more of a conversation, perhaps just him trying to cover his ass and then he left. And I was left thinking about how else it could have gone. And how I could have made it head into a more acceptable direction.

The biggest problem with being in a open marriage for me is finding and actually engaging worthwhile sexual partners. As in the case of this guy, I'm occasionally approached by men I'm attracted to who start with (what I consider) the wrong question: "are you married." My answer is, obviously "yes."

It sort of puts the onus on me. I get to figure out if what I'm dealing with is ACTUALLY a guy coming on to me or just my ego getting out of control. Which is really being put in the position of deciding if I want to take the chance of being wrong and sounding like I'm coming on to a guy... even though I'm married. The other problem is how to express my situation without giving out TMI or sounding crazy.

This is especially hard with the clever guys who're trying to avoid rejection. I appreciate their cleverness and I very much feel their desire to avoid rejection. However, it just makes it that much harder for me to NOT reject them. Very frustrating.

The internet is much easier.