I spent much of the day with an eye out for any of the boys I like to flirt with. No one really came to visit (well, except Wade and that was short and sweet). No sign of Trian. Or Sam. Or any of the others. I was really disappointed but I was also really fucking busy so it all worked out. However, I kept an eye out for Curt. But he never showed. He’s also not called yet. I imagine he’s going to try to do the prescribed "three day" wait thing. Or maybe not. Who the fuck knows?

I’m still trying to figure out what, exactly, to do about Curt. On one hand I really don’t give a shit that he’s married. I’m only annoyed that it makes him less readily available. And it makes me think about the whole lying thing. I loathe lies and the lying liars that tell them. Cheaters are the ultimate in liars. Although the funny thing is they probably don’t think of themselves as dishonest, for the most part. Apparently they only lie about thing things that matter to the second most important person in their lives (beside themselves of course).

It’s troubling. The thing is, I don’t lust after Curt because of his honesty. It wasn’t his honesty that attracted me or keeps my mind flitting back to thoughts of him. And I’m not really sure if I should be making this kind of decision should be based on a fear of what other people think... which is really what I’m concerned about. I mean, I have a couple of different ways of looking at the situation and I’m really not sure which one to choose.

So, yeah. Like I said before. Knowing me, I’ll probably sleep with him. And I’ll probably enjoy it. And then I’ll move far, far away.