Rocking the...

We went and saw Doom today. It was okay. If you like The Rock it's great. Not NEARLY enough nakedness, though.

So, of course husband's friend went with us. Originally he sat next to husband but we both told him "oh, sit over THERE" and he sat over THERE... which was next to me. So I ended up kind of snuggling against him for warmth (well, and companionship) the entire movie. I was somewhat snuggled with husband too, which made for a warmth threesome. The weather has turned colder unexpectedly and I needed me some body heat.

By the end of the movie we were all but holding hands. I kept finding my fingers idly touching his palm with my fingers, caressingly. Just barely. So he did the same thing back. Which caused me to be utterly distracted. A few times his hand found my thigh. Which of course, distracted me even MORE.

Good times.

After the movie we all wandered around and I made it a point to touch husband's friend a few more times. Eventually we ended up at the bookstore (where husband wanted to go) and his friend decided to leave. We both told husband he should go... but he wouldn't. "Okay, bye now, honey!" I said. His friend said "yeah, BYE now. You go look at your books. We'll be back in a while...." Etc. But husband just wouldn't leave. So that was that.

Afterward I asked husband "does it bother you that I want to hook up with your friend?" He said no. Keep in mind this is an often asked and answered question in the house and I'm entirely comfortable that husband has expressed exactly ZERO concern over the whole thing. Then I asked "so... why wouldn't you leave?" "Well, I couldn't tell if you were serious." "We told you to go." "Yeah well... you should have just said what you wanted." "I think we did. Like, 'Okay, you go, I'll be there in a while.'" Then he laughed. We talked for a while more about it and it left me laughing, both at him and at his sense of humor. Finally I told him "I think you were jealous... that we were going to spend time together. Alone. Without you. I think you weren't jealous of ME but of HIM... you didn't want to miss anything funny he would say or whatever." He couldn't really deny that.

Figures. Husband doesn't care if I fuck his friend... he just doesn't want his friend and I to hang out together without him.

Who knows what'll happen. Maybe nothing. But it certainly is amusing.

Hot and...

I'm hell bent on seeing husband's friend this weekend. I was trying hard to come up with excuses. Husband was being indulgent. "We could try to invite ourselves over for an afternoon of video games and heavy drinking!" Which I did suggest to his friend via e-mail but never heard back.

Then I heard the new Doom movie is coming out. And I'm the Rock's biggest fan in the whole world. Well, I want to bang the hell out of him. So, here I shall be surrounded by hotties.

Anyway, here's the thing... so I called the friend to see if he wanted to go out and by the end of the conversation I was flushed and giggly. I hope I'm not so pathetic tomorrow. Because seriously....

Tease.

Husband's friend is still teasing me. I'm not sure if he's just flirting or if he's more seriously interested than he's let on. I hate that. Of course he's seriously interested... and I could probably get him into bed if I really pushed for it. However, the circumstances matter, dammit.

Meanwhile, I remain sexually charged. And frustrated. So frustrated. I might get to have sex with husband tonight. But probably not. Even if we do, I probably won't get to feel him inside me. Maybe I could make do with a lovely dildo and his effort. But really, I desire a good, hard fuck. Face to face. Front to back. Side by side. All of it. I want it so bad it's not even funny. I came earlier (a wonderful, delicious all consuming orgasm which made my legs almost too weak to hold me) which was almost immediately followed by feelings of sadness and loneliness. I hate that. Nothing ruins a good orgasm faster.

Righteous!

Actually, it's indignation. I'm irritated that husband's friend would choose fidelity to a woman beneath my contempt rather than sex with yours truly. I was prefectly happy to lust after him from afar while he was married. I never once made a real play for him during that time and while I didn't LIKE that I wasn't going to get to sleep with him, I was okay with it. I'm not particularly okay with it anymore. I'm bitter. Which was exactly NOT the goal.

Basically, I was considering the super long talk he and I had and realised that his current girlfriend is a terribly manipulative woman who is cruely using him to her own ends. He doesn't understand why she doesn't leave her husband for him (especially since he left his wife for her). We'll pretend that what his girlfriend is doing to her husband isn't WORSE than what his wife did to him (it's okay, though, because, you know... it's HIM she's doing it with). He provides her with all the sex and romance she's lacking in her marriage and in return he gets excuses as to why she couldn't possibly leave her husband right now. Ugh.

I admit were I to sleep with him I'd have evil designs, too. He admitted to me what he said he couldn't say person which was if he and I had sex it would surely be an extremely emotional experience. I specifically told him while I was there that I didn't want to fall in love with him. Which is like... stupid... because I've tried to play that game before.

Maybe I'm already somewhat in love with him. Nothing will ever be able to come of it because I can already see the problems we'd have together and I just don't like the idea of going THERE. Which of course, is a pretty good reason for us NOT to have sex. Because I DON'T want to hurt him the way SHE is.

Fucking hell. I really don't like being an adult. And I really think he's dumb.

Why can't I find myself a nice poly boy? Which reminds me, the one guy I thought I could have a lovely, friendly, sexually pleasing poly relationship was apparently looking for an excuse to leave his wife and is now in an monogamous (or semi-monogamous) relationship which doesn't involve individual play.

I think I've vented. I think I'm done. Unless he finally writes back (it's been about two days) I'm guessing the excitement is over.

I told husband this. I bet we won't have sex again anytime soon. I can't remember the last time we did, actually....

Invisible

Sometimes I think I'm invisible. Sometimes I'm not really sure I exist at all.

But mostly just when I'm depressed. Of course, not that depressed. Just depressed enough to feel sorry for myself. Which is silly.

At least I have my car back from the shop. With brakes!

Damn.

Well, I finally got my answer back from husband's friend. Basically, he told me that I was probably right that it wasn't a very good idea for the two of us to get involved, fun though it might be in the short term.

And I'm so fucking unhappy that he agreed with me.

Delightful

Husband, for whatever mysterious reason, was horny today. I was teasing him with how horny I was yesterday and how disappointed I was that we didn't have sex, not to mention that something about the idea of me fucking other men turns him on (though he denies it). So he was horny as hell.

And, for whatever reason, he was feeling somewhat kinky. For him, anyway. Most of my sex is pretty straightlaced. I'm a little bondage/Ds/sm curious but aren't we all? However, husband claims to be very kinky in his heart but has no interest in any of these things. So today he wanted me to suck his cock, which I did between levels on the video game I was playing, enjoying teasing him.

Finally, he said, something like "you know, if you don't want to do that, you could do something else." I stared at him lost, knowing he didn't mean fucking. "You know.. lower." I gazed at his balls and thought "no... I'm sure he doesn't mean play with his balls... does he mean lick his ass? Or DOES he means his balls? Or something else? I'm so confused." I do tend to play with husband's balls which lead me to believe he meant is ass, but that's just not something I assume. So I finally told him "you're going to have to spell it out for me."

This was when he got a little squirmy, but finally he said "will you eat my ass?" I smiled, finally aware of what he wanted. I insisted he be very clean (he immediately ran to take a shower) and then spent the next 20 minutes with my tongue swirling around that forbidden area. Let there be no question... it's kinda hard to do. At least, it seemed much harder than in the movies. I've done it before, but it's been YEARS. It's not my first choice in sexual activities but I enjoy pleasing husband SO much that I'm perfectly willing to do what he asks.

He asked if he could cum on me (something he used to claim to not understand the pleasure of at all) and we rearranged so he could do so, while masturbating with my mouth where he wanted it. Afterward, I sent him off to wash the cum off his hands and then insisted he help me come, too, finger fucking me while I masturbated. Unfortunately, he clearly had no clue what he was doing, but I was still able to cum. I gloried in feeling the heat rushing up my neck and face, knowing a lovely orgasm was coming. If only he'd known what he was doing he could have had me shouting, instead I let out a few short moans and it was over. We lay together, deliciously relaxed and snuggled for quite a bit before heading downstairs.

Unfortunately, it just left me horny as ever. I pursued him for more sex play off and on for the rest of the evening but was turned down "I'm done for the day" he said. It kind of amazes me (although doesn't surprise me about him) that he can have such a delightful sexual experience... and be perfectly happy to wait a while for another chance. Whereas I cum... wait a bit and am more than ready to try again.

Which made me think of husband's friend who claims to be somewhat hypersexual (something he seems vaguely ashamed of) but which interests me very much. I'm always happy to take on a man who might be able to keep up with me. Though, I think I've yet to meet a man who can outclass me I'm always hoping....

'Hells wrong with me?!?

So husband's friend and I have e-mailed each other several times. Since then, I came out and told him that "yes, I could have had sex with you the other night... and now it'll never be that easy again!" Which I thought was very kind of me.

I told him that I suspected he'd tried to turn his head when I went to kiss his cheek and he admitted that he'd misread that one and managed NOT to do so in time and was apparently vaguely embarassed about it. Which made me laugh, because at least he's honest. But then makes me consider what could have been. I chose not to tell him that I'd then spent the next couple of minutes catching myself licking that corner of my lips, still feeling his....

Also, I finally laid out my fears about what could happen if we DO have sex... and I haven't heard back from him. I'm not sure what to make of it. I remain afraid that he's going to use me as an excuse to break up with his girlfriend and then months from now inexplicably blame me for luring him away. Which isn't what I told him because that's just a bit more than he needs to know (I hinted at it, though). I told him some other things, too, which I'd hoped he'd brush aside or something. Instead I haven't heard anything. I'm not sure whether he's thinking I'm far too cerebral and expecting about this or if he's had a huge fight with his girlfriend (which he said he might) and is currently overwhelmed with that.

So, we'll see. I'm afraid I've fucked things up terribly....

A name...

I *really* need to come up with a nickname for husband's friend. Husband was still out of state with his mother (I came home sooner since my job gave me less time off) and I wanted to go to a beer tasting. Husband would have loved to go but suggested I should invite his friend instead who might enjoy it, too, so I wouldn't have to go alone. Which I did, to which the friend agreed.

So. I called him a bit before to make more defined plans and he suggested we could just go to a restaurant if I'd prefer rather than making the longer trek to his place and then off to the other. However, I was somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of spending that kind of time with him (at a restaurant) and opted to do the former rather than the later.

I arrived and we talked for a wee bit before heading out. We talked the entire way there and then I proceeded to get giddily drunk on about two beers. Yeah, that's me, cheap date. Which he pointed out. Except that I was the one who bought our way in (he paid me back later) which at the time made me less than cheap. We spent a few hours checking out girls and the rather pathetic excuses for the males.

Once our tokens were gone, he was sober enough to drive whereas I was a giggly mess. So, we went back to his place and ate dinner and ended up talking. I arrived at his apartment at about one thirty returned to his place by about three thirty and I did not leave his place until about eight thirty. We spent all the time TALKING. Five hours worth of talking. Both of us confessed our deepest darkest secrets (well maybe not) and he told me several times that he was totally down with the idea of fucking me.

At some point we were talking and I told him I was somewhat depressed and NOT into the idea of getting naked with anyone (I didn't point out that I actually shaved this morning knowing I was going out with him) and he told me something like "you're a beautiful, sexy woman, and I'd love to take you to bed with me" or something of that ilk. I giggled slightly and told him, "really, I don't know how you get that stuff to come out of your mouth!" He looked vaguely confused "what?" And I said "what you said... I can't SAY those things. It's amazing." Of course, before I'm lambasted, we must remember that I'd already explained to him why I wasn't sleeping with him and he didn't argue with me about it at all so I have to assume he agreed with me and was at this point merely expressing desire rather than expectation.

Anyway, I'm not one hundred percent sure he would ACTUALLY sleep with me, but he certainly wants to (which is mutual, I assure you) but I'm just not sure it's a wise decision. However, I sent him an e-mail letting him know that I do have permission to fuck him, but am afraid of ruining their friendship.

Also, I'm somewhat afraid he's going to use me as an excuse to leave his girlfriend. Whom he's kind of done with.

So.

That was me...

letting you all know why I'd disappeared.

Of course this has been a very trying time. Husband only has one father afterall. And we've both been very sad.

Husband's talk has turned to baby. I'm sure he'll change his mind sooner than later. Probably once he gets to our home from his parent's home and gets back into the swing of things. However, I was so terribly tempted to ask "...but wouldn't we have to have sex to do that?!?"

We did have some wonderful sexual times this last week, though. Sex and funerals, you know. Nothing like that to affirm life....

Gone but not forgotten.

Husband's father has passed.

Hmm.

Thank god for Tivo. That's all I'm saying about that.

Meanwhile, apparently Christopher Knight's chest is smooth and hairless. This is not what I remember seeing. I'm not complaining. However, I felt the need to mention it. Because I hate looking stupid.

I'm working on cleaning up my life. Bits and pieces here and there. Now sure whether Semper Sexualis will stick around or go. I feel like I need a second not forever sexual blog (because I'm stuck on journaling my life away) but... I dunno. I've been considering morphing this one to something more open and available to ALL aspects of my life... but it would hardly be fitting to call it Semper Sexualis, than would it?

So, I don't know.

I'm happy. I like being happy.

Bang!

So. I'm horny. It's around midnight. And of course my thoughts turn toward men I'd like to fuck. There are many at times like these. I consider celebrities. It's usually so much easier to get photos of them than of the real life men I want to fuck. Oddly, I couldn't find any really good pictures of the celebrities that spring to mind, right now.

Mike Rowe (host of Dirty Jobs, and previously a semi-local celeb) and Christopher Knight (yeah, Peter Brady and surprisingly sexy star of reality tv). Both have very similar qualities. Aged within 10 years of each other, both with similar builds (it's a tough choice but I'm really digging that Mike right now) and lovely hairy chests (which is such a change from what I liked as a teenager, lemme tell ya).

Anyway, I just wanted to share my current objects of lust and give a toast to them both of them for the delicious orgasm I just had. Actually, credit for that pretty much goes solely to the Hitachi Magic Wand and Mr. Rowe (who has a most excellent voice).

And now I shall take myself (and my parentheses) off to bed for what looks to be a beautiful rest.

I feel wonderful!

Being a girl kind of sucks.

Last night I got some wicked cramps. I still have them today. Punishment for being a girl. I told husband only HE has the power to make it stop, expecting him to offer to get me some pills so I wouldn't have to trudge upstairs. Instead he told me "I'm NOT getting you pregnant." Ah, yes. That's what I meant. So I went and got my own pills and then talked about "the baby" for the rest of the night.

We went to bed but I stayed up (laying there) reading that book I mentioned yesterday. I ended up deciding I was just turned on enough to try masturbating. After a somewhat slow start I had an absolutely DELICIOUS orgasm. Husband slept through it, but it was okay because I came and got to enjoy the delicate after-flutters of an "empty" orgasm which sent me to sleep with a smile on my face.

Yesterday wasn't so bad at all.

Last Night

I've clearly got PMS. Near as I can tell my horniness is now almost exclusively confined to that time of the month. I've gone so long burying my sexuality, again, that it's only when my hormones get out of control that I really, really want to fuck.

Last night I picked up a book by Emma Holly which was a LOT sexier than I expected. Exploring themes of bisexuality (mostly male), voyeurism, polyamory, ds, and sm. All this in what is coyly called a "romance novel." Ah, it's lovely and all the things I find sexy all rolled up into one. I'm terribly impressed by it and find it startlingly erotic. I came two or three times last night because of it. Desperate for release.

The first time I came, I was reminded how very PMSy I am when my orgasm was followed by a delightfully tingly afterglow... and then tears. Lots of tears. Not those kind I've had after a really good orgasm, caused by the pleasure but rather something strongly related to sadness.

I can't believe I don't have those sexy, exciting times with someone else who might actually ENJOY my desire for them.

But then while on vacation I refused husband sex twice. He hasn't asked since.

Title Here.

So, I had a really crap day today involving my dog eating some chocolate infused with espresso. I dosed him with something to make him puke and then sent him outside to do so. At which point I realised that instead of sending him just outside, I'd let him GO. So then I was forced to chase after him, which ended up not taking too long but it wasn't much fun. He never did puke, but he's not dead, either. So I guess he just really likes chocolate.

On the positive side, I bought a new camera. A lovely canon digital SLR which I can't stop playing with. Good times. However, I want a better lens than the one it comes with. I'm so picky. However, I'm still super excited to have it at all seeing as I've wanted one of the regular film type for about 5 years now. The digital is even more desirable, and I got it!

Not too much else going on, really.

This guy came in today and I couldn't figure out why he was so familiar to me. I looked at him and thought "huh, either he's not as good looking as I thought he was or I'm much pickier than I used to be." Finally, it occured to me that he wasn't memorable because I thought he was hot but because of his last name (which is a noun appropriate to our military) and because he has a big dick. Or likes roomy condoms. Whatever the case, it only struck me after he left and I thought it was pretty funny that I remembered something like that.

I haven't seen the super hot guy since my second day back... and that was only a glimpse. I miss him.

Also, the creepy guy came in at about the same time as my husband did. I tried to subtly motion to my husband that THIS was the creepy guy and to watch him please, which in husband-think meant "turn away and stare at a magazine cover until the guy leaves." *sigh*

Uncomfortable.

Yes, I am back. Thanks for noticing.

There's this man who comes into my work. He's an older guy. Probably around 50 give or take. Heavy, grey hair, ponytail. He comes in and smiles. And kind of stares. From the very first time I met him he made me uncomfortable. It's NOT getting any better.

I think he thinks I should think he's special. Memorable. And most of all, attractive. Alas, while he is memorable I only think he's special in that creepy sort of way and least of all is he attractive.

After he left today, once again giving me the creeps my coworker stood near. I told her "he REALLY makes me uncomfortable." And she suprised me by agreeing whole heartedly. She and I agree on almost nothing. And it only heightens my feeling of discomfort that she, too, feels that "vibe" from him.

I wonder if he realises that he makes us uncomfortable. Maybe he thinks he tight, "I'm undressing you with my eyes" smile is supposed to be relaxing. But relaxing it is not.

And this is why I'm so careful of my attraction to the men around me. What if *I* come off that way?!?

And what the hell is wrong with that guy?!?

Vacation!

Two week vacation starts today. We'll be spending the majority of it with husband's parents and then with my sister. Needless to say the likelihood of an update is EXTEREMLY thin.

Hope everyone has a good couple of weeks, I'll see you around the 18th!

What're the chances...

That super hot gate guard was my VERY FIRST customer today. What're the chances of that? Especially after I just HAD to gossip about him to husband. He wasn't in his typical hat and uniform and it threw me off. However, after he left I was shaking just a little and of course... giddy. Because he does that to me.

I desire this man. And will NEVER EVER have the opportunity to lay a finger on him. Dammit. Lots of lust there.

But such is my life. Desire for what I can't have... and no real desire for what is available. Pretty much sucks, really....

So there's this guy.

I've mentioned him before. He's super good looking. One of the gate guards. He comes in with his super hot friend gate guard all the time. However, the one... he still floors me every frickin' day. He walks in and all I want to do is gaze adoringly at him. It is ALL I CAN DO to stick with my task at hand and NOT just stare dumbly at him for being so beautiful.

To put a little perspective, I had a huuuuuuuuuuuuge crush on John Michael Montgomery (pictured above) when I was in school. This guy looks like a BETTER looking version of JMM. Better looking! Of John Michael Montgomery! Is that even POSSIBLE? But of course it is. Except I convince myself "naw... he's only human..." and then he walks in the door, this tall, built, sexy hunk of a man.

Did I mention he's tall? I have a thing for imposing men. Not that I'd turn down a man for his stature, but he towers over everyone else. Not freakishly so... but enough.

Anyway, the point is I tried to go to sleep and when I wasn't thinking about the video game I've been playing I was envisioning this hunk of a man trying to decide all the nasty, dirty things I'd do to him given the chance. And realising how bad I just want to lick every inch of his perfection and worship the ground he walks on. Well, okay, I already do the later. Now let's get to the former!

Then there's the guy with the chewing tobacco (NOT the hot guy, the OTHER guy I mentioned in a previous post) whom I find myself continuing to flirt with. I was just thinking about chewing tobacco and wondering "how can you put that in your MOUTH?" and then I was thinking "well, heck, if he can put THAT in his mouth he must be more than willing to go down." But who wants tobacco pussy?

And on that note... I'm going back to bed to think about tasting the hot guy....

Eek.

Ten pounds, I said. Yeah, well, turns out WHY. I gained weight after I moved from my last job. About ten pounds. That's what I get for being so much less active. Dammit.

Things are still going on. However, much of those things are SLEEP. I don't do hard work but my schedule is all messed up because of the hours I work. And next week we'll be flying cross country which is going to royally mess up my schedule. I'll be tired forever....

I bought a new sex toy which looks not all that much like a sex toy, which is cool. I might even take it on the trip with us. Just because. I'll share all about it sometime.

There's a guy who might actually have a crush on me at work. I kind of dig him, too. Except for the gross chewing tobacco thing. Blech. No thanks, dear.

However, I continue to find myself surrounded by really hot guys. I mean, seriously, there's this one who keeps coming in and I think "my god, why isn't he a famous sex symbol?!?" He's stunningly handsome with his sexy mix of boyish good looks, and manly handsomeness. He's tall, built... just everything you want in a movie star but don't see often enough. I mean, this guy's breathtaking. And he's walking into my store on a daily basis. It'd be like having... oh... a less nutty version of freakin' Brad Pitt walking into the store. (on a side note, Brad Pitt was NEVER attractive to me until recently... age has served him well).

Lots of fantasy fodder... nothing at all going on. Bleh.

Also, my fellow bloggers are dropping like flies and it depresses me. I'm still here. Just... soooo tired....

Ah, yes....

Finally, the sexual maturity post.

When I was a young pre-teen I discovered the pleasures of masturbation. Like many girls it was a miss and miss affair. I never came. However, I really enjoyed sticking various objects inside myself. I found a few stellar objects and used them to fuck myself regularly.

Despite all the sex-ed I'd gone through I still wasn't terribly familar with the clitoris OR it's function (and looking back I'm thinking they really didn't spend any time mentioning the FUNCTION in school). Therefore, I was more than a little irritated when I found this particular part of my body which was so super sensitive I couldn't touch it. At least, not without extreme discomfort and inexplicable twitching of my legs. I was fascinated by the twitching. I tormented my body trying to figure out this little spot which caused such an extreme reaction.

One day, I was masturbating with my thumb, my hand in a position where it was accidentally rubbing against the area where this oversensitive little nub was. I rocked against my thumb watching some porn on TV through the squiggles. And I nearly had an orgasm. I became aware of the sensation of the near orgasm and my complete surprised confused me. However, this soon led to my first orgasm and a better understanding of what the clitoris was. As I continued to torment my clit trying to figure out it's sensitivity I gradually became less sensitive on the sides (never the head) and it became a very important part of my masturbation.

A few years later, I was still tormented by the sensitivity of my clit. I was listening to Love Line and a caller asked the two hosts about the sensitivity of her clit. I think I was 16 or 17 at the time, whereas she was about 13 or so. Dr. Drew told her that the sensitivity wasn't particularly abnormal but that her hormones had not yet caught up with her body and that she should recognise that her body hadn't yet matured and she should wait for sexual activity until such a time.

Had I followed Drew's advice I wouldn't have had sex until I was 26 or 27!

Anyway, more recently I've discovered that the waning sensitivity I was noticing in the last year has finally come to fruition and my entire clitoris appears to be game for attention. I'm terribly excited by this prospect and have wanted to test it out to see if someone else has any chance of getting me to orgasm themselves... but husband's not been cooperative lately.

However, it appears that my body is finally becoming sexually mature, or something. Because the sensitivity is gone and this is cause for much celebration.

About Sexual Maturity and Sensitivity

Last night I meant to write an entry about something Dr. Drew once told someone on Love Line about sexual maturity and sensitivity. However, having watched an episode of Strictly Sex (which he hosts) I found myself completely distracted by my attraction to him. So much so that I titled the entry appropriately and then went on to forget what I was writing about.

Therefore, forthcoming will be an entry more appropriate to the title sexual maturity and sensitivity as it is a timely subject which I feel I should write about.

Sexual Maturity and Sensitivity

I have this crazy crush on Dr. Drew. Looking at him I am suddenly transported back to my teenage years when I had crushes on my teachers and whatever other hot, intelligent, masculine man happened to be around. Which is to say not very many. Between the rarity of these spectacular men and the intensity of teenage hormones when I wanted these men it was with incredible passion. This is how I feel about Dr. Drew. I want him with incredible passion.

Of course, this is tempered by the knowledge that he's unattainable... and the fact that I can never REALLY have him makes him sexier, too. Because he's married and he'd never cheat on his wife. That honor and honesty is sexy as hell, too.

Which isn't to say I'd respect him less if he were in another honest but OPEN situation... however, I respect and admire him for being a faithful, sexual being.

And oh my god is he so fucking sexy.

I want to LEARN that sex appeal. I want it. BAAAAAAD. Some one, teach me to be that sexy! Please!

Let's just say.

Let's just say I work in a convenience store. It's the most accurate portrayal you're going to get from me for the time being. Maybe ever. I didn't USED to. But for now, let's just say I do. Much of the customer base is hot young military boys, gate guards, that sort of thing. Thus, I am surrounded very often by hot young military guys.

The other day, I was helping a customer when another walked up to the counter, waiting in line to be served next. As the man I was helping was gathering up his merchandise, the porn ninja struck. The counter was empty. I glanced away. When I glanced back a Playboy was unfolding itself on the counter. He'd somehow managed to flip it up onto the counter like some kind of throwing stare, without actually PUTTING it on the counter. It was amazing, quick, mysterious. He was the porn ninja.

I rang him up and sent him on his way. I was in a bad mood, nothing to do with him. Hours later, I thought about it... and came up with the name Porn Ninja. And then laughed myself silly over it. I laughed so hard I cried.

I don't care that he bought porn. I encourage that sort of behavior, don't you know? But his ninja-like ways really got to me. He will always be the porn ninja to me.

A day later another man came into buy some "dirty, disgusting, gross" Skoal. Maybe it was Copenhagen. Whichever it was, I stared at him blankly as he described the tobacco product in the most unflattering terms he could think of without crossing over into the impolite trying to figure out what exactly he wanted. Finally, telling me the name of the product I gave it to him and rang it up. Afterward, he said "ah, you should have said 'no'! But we all do things we don't want to do, you know." I stared at him still utterly confused by his behavior before telling him, "I really don't care what you buy... I'm not here to judge, you know?" He laughed at that half heartedly leaving, before turning quickly toward the magazine section "then I should go buy some porn!" I tried to smile, still at a loss as to how to react, "...okay." I said, shaking my head slightly trying to convey that I really didn't care one way or the other. And then he left, having not really meant it about the porn.

I went home after that and had to ask husband "do I SEEM so straight laced? Do I seem SO completely pure and like... matronly that I would CARE if someone bought porn? Do they not realize what a porn hound I am? I mean, not compared to you but... is that what I give off?!?"

So now I'm thinking I totally give off the WRONG vibe. Maybe I need to start wearing black lipstick and playboy bunny shirts. Because, god damn it. I can out sex most of those boys... and would love to prove it....

Bleh

I have a headache. I think I'm getting sick.

However, I do have a few stories to tell. Namely about the porn ninja and the sad attempt at flirting I did with the man....

But for now.. I have a headache.

Drooling.

Yesterday a man came into my work. He was maybe 20 or 25, tanned skin (not too tan), sandy blonde hair cut short, t-shirt, pants, and of course... he was built. I looked him over passingly, appreciative but not stunned. Later, he picked up the things he came in with and carried them out of the building. I gazed at him as he left, taking in the view but my eyes were immediately caught on the firm, tan, skin of his arm, stretched beautifully over muscle.

I think I must have made a noise, a catch of breath, something. I became momentarily aware of the obviousness my reaction and thought "wow, I gotta be careful of that." And then spent a moment of mental bliss as my hormones made my body warm and tingly.

I love that it's little, unexpected things that turn me on.

Final Semenex Post

I mentioned on another blog that I felt like I needed to re-write my final semenex post. The most recent reason being that I am currently ranked on Google about #16 out of about three thousand sites that mention the product and am receiving an increasingly large amount of traffic looking for information. Unfortunately, google is directing them to a page which merely mentions my interest in the product. By making this post I will be able to go back and edit that post to direct them to this one. Get it? Good.

So, my final opinion on the product is that it doesn't work. At least, not for Husband. And certainly not for ME (which is really the idea, isn't it?). In order to better appreciate the entire subject, let me expand upon the experiment.

Namely, husband began taking the suppliment on Tuesday night. I was with him while we made sure to measure out the exact amount specified, he mixed it with a spoon, leaving a lumpy mess and gagged it down. He *really* did NOT like the taste. I let him finish it off and then added some water to get the dregs to assuage my curiosity and found it to be okay. I certainly didn't find it gag-worthy, nor was it something to go on and on about. It smells really good, though.

The next night, I decided to take things into my own hands to see if I could at least improve the texture of the mix. I put it in a small plastic ware container with some water and shook it vigorously for a minute before offering it to husband. The texture was vastly improved, but of course it was the same ingredients so husband bitched some more but sucked it down, knowing what was coming.

At this point getting husband hard was easier than ever as he constantly had sex on his mind. This is a positive part of the experiment, something I greatly appreciated and was consistantly amused by. This alone was almost worth the cost of the product, really.

The third night, I once again mixed up husband's potion and he took it. "If this works, I'll learn to love the taste" he told me.

The fourth night was the same proceedure. However, I discovered the 5 serving containter only actually contained 4 servings. I don't hold this against the company. However, it makes their guarantee a little more suspect (gotta read the fine print). However, should someone doubt my measuring ability and exclaim that I must have give husband too much with each serving... well, that certainly wouldn't make it LESS effective, now would it? Also, I never had any intention of taking advantage of the guarantee and therefore wasn't concerned about making sure to save any particular amount of the product. Anyone doubting my results, however,who might feel the need to try it themselves planning to take advantage of the guarantee ought to be aware of my experience with the servings.

The fifth day (roughly 14 hours after his final dose) I took husband up to the bedroom and completed the experiment with a taste test. My hopes were high. However, they were quickly dashed as my mouth was filled with his familar bitter flavor. There was no hint of any "sweetness." However, I fully admit I did NOT roll his cum around in my mouth to get the full effect. I don't believe that should have been neccessary, though.

The experiment was great fun, but I left the situation with... well... a bitter taste in my mouth.

The site does claim that semenex may not actually work for everyone... so maybe we were unlucky.

Further information: husband is not on any drugs, alcohol, or nicotine, nor is he taking any suppliments or medications. He is not on a special diet and does not eat any pungent or strange foods. He was not sick. Semenex was consumed in intervals of slightly less than 24 hours. He masturbated regularly during the experiment, except the day of the taste test. And lastly, I'm familiar with the flavor of cum, specifically husbands, and find his to be no more or less bitter than that of any of my previous lovers (barring one particular guy who claimed not to know what caused his own spunk to be sweet).

End notes (aka covering my ass): I do not accept reviews of products from magazines, or people I don't know anything about. Please take any comments extolling the virtues of the product and their surprise at my disappointment with the same grain of salt I do, as they have never left a reputable way of contacting them or direction to an established non-commercial site. I do not claim that the product does not work at all, only that my experience with it showed that it didn't work for us, and I wouldn't recommend it. Please make your own decisions.

Hot and bothered.

The picture in my last post is driving me to distraction. Let me 'splain.

I've got this thing. It's a bit of a... oh... one could call it a fetish but I think it's more just an insistant preference. I have this THING for men's shoulders. I guess like some men are breast men, some leg... some... well... whatever... and some women are butt women and some women are... umm... what else are women known for looking at? Well, I'm into shoulders. Broad, masculine shoulders.

While in junior high I developed this prefence. Or at least, that's when I became aware of it. I think I was in seventh grade. There was a boy who was in ninth grade who rode the same school bus as I did, waited at the same bus stop. As with all good school children, the seven or so of us who waited there would all get in a nice straight line and wait for the bus to arrive. Being the punctual (and afraid of missing the bus) kind of girl I am, I was often the first person in line and thus was able to concentrate all my efforts on watching for the school bus... but not just ANY school bus... the right one. God forbid the person in the front get everyone's hopes up by picking up their bag for the wrong bus. But that's another story.

One day, I was later than usual. The majority of the line was already formed. I ended up standing behind the ninth grader. The ninth grader who looked like a high schooler... with his already masculinizing features, increased height, and distractingly perfect shoulders. I spend the better part of the next ten or so minutes eyeing the curve of his shoulders, the shape of his shoulder blades... and getting very, very turned on.

Of course, after that I occasionally made the effort to be a little bit later to the bus, but generally my fear over missing the bus far outweighed my desire to get a little titlation. It never really happened again that way, anyway. He never wore a shirt as thin, never managed to be so close to me... but it's stayed with me all these years.

Thinking about that boy, again, I was reminded of my first (and subsequent) viewings of Dirty Dancing. I never really had a crush on Patrick Swayze but that scene... as they're dancing... seducing one another... she takes off his shirt and moves around behind him, tracing his shoulders as she moved around him. Maybe she bit him, tasting the muscular flesh. Maybe it's my fantasy that she did.

Whatever the case, both stay in my memory as deliciously erotic experiences.

Despite what I've heard over and over again... men's bodies are worthy of the same lavish attention as women's. They're beautiful, sexy, and sensual... especially their shoulders.

Eyes to the floor.

It occured to me today that I spend most of my day looking at stuff. And paperwork. Not so much people. I deal with a fairly large number of people over a day and it occured to me, that despite the politeness of these particular people and my overall comfort with them, I still don't look people in the eye.

A young marine came in and asked me a question. I stared blankly at what he was holding and requested assistance from my manager who was better able to answer his question. The fact that I had to get assistance sort of forced me to look directly at him... and he was all things beautiful. Beautiful men please me. Also, he was ill which lent a slightly flushed quality to his face and extra brightness to his eyes. And I wanted to take him home to mother him... and then be thanked in that special naked way only beautiful naked marines know how. I assume. Because I've never actually slept with a marine of any sort, beautiful, naked, or otherwise.

Later on it occured to me that I was doing it again. In the middle of assisting a young seaman it occured to me that I hadn't looked at him yet. I forced myself to look up at him the next time I spoke and discovered he was looking at me. His gaze flicked quickly away and I thought "huh... was he actually... looking at me... for... a reason?!?" So then I was slightly pleased with myself. Because I'm easily pleased some days.

Grr.

I spent the earliest part of my morning wandering around trying to figure out how to get from the closed part of the military installation to the even MORE closed part of the military installation where the "rest" of my new job is. You see, unlike in the REAL world when I go to work, now, I have to go through not ONE but TWO military check points.

Except prior to today I've never had to go through the second one. The fun part is, it's really freaking hard to get in there. First I had to submit all of my information to someone who submitted it to someone else who then told me I could go into the area... for now. But I had to go through the visitor's center. But I get to guess which of the TWO I'm supposed to go to... and then guess what to do when I get there. That was fun.

I ended up hitting the wrong gate (NOT a visitor's center at all) and had to turn around... and then they took my driver's license to... well... I never did ask what they did with it. But the guy who took it for a bit drove up in a way cool black humvee with flashing lights. I want one. All that for going to the wrong gate. Nevermind that I knew WELL in advance it was the wrong gate... but there's no turn around so even though you see your doom coming... there's no hope for it.

I was directed to the CORRECT visitor's center, then. Everyone was in a line waiting to go through, so when everyone stopped, I stopped. The people in front of and behind me opened their cars... so I opened mine. I watched the dog sniff my car and move on. Everyone showed their IDs, so I quickly grabbed mine and showed it, too. Then everyone pulled out... so I pulled out too... oops. Wrong way. Wrong way again. And again. And then as I FINALLY figured out where I was going, I was told "oh, but you have to go INSIDE the building, now, too!" Oh. Thanks for ANYONE telling me.

After about a half hour there, I was directed to get my finger prints taken. No crimes for me anymore, I'd be caught. Dammit. "Thanks, and have a nice day" I was told. I stared blankly... "but... what do I do now?" "You can go." "but... I didn't get a badge..." "you don't need one." "But..." "Have a nice day." Right.....

So off to work I went. And now, I'm home. And I get to go through it all again tomorrow. Hopefully this time it'll be much smoother... unless I decide to hide some tasty doggy treats in my car. Just to make it more interesting....

Oh, and the guy who drove the black humvee? Way too cute. Way. In fact, there was no shortage of cuties today....

Pretending.

Pretending I didn't just make that previous post questioning my decision to make any part of myself public... I wanted to test out how this turns out online. The answer being... verrrrrrrrry small.

Inevitably.

I tend to do stupid things. Among them, I tend to manage to link my anonymous blogs and diaries to some sort of "real" part of my life. Something which could give me away. What would happen if I was given away? Near as I can tell, nothing.

I'm considering giving myself up. Oh, not completely. But I am thinking about admitting what it is I do for a living. It would make it a lot easier to talk about my job.

Like the super hot, built, asian guy who came into my work today. Chewing tobacco. Umm.

The other example of my poor choice to link this blog to any other part of my real life is the guy who came into my work today. I walked past him. I walked past him again. The second time, he called to me. I turned around. "Do you live on base?" he asked me. I nodded, expecting to hear that he is my neighbor. I was about to be pleased that I had a polite neighbor. However, he followed this up with "are you on 'sitenamehere'.com?" My shock was momentary before I smiled, somewhat embarassed at having been caught, "wow... uh... yeah." He smiled, "I thought so. I waited for a long time for you to get a picture up." Or something like that. It didn't immediately give me the creeps. Thinking about it now, though, it kind of does. Because I put up a picture something like 6 months ago....

I essentially left the scene of the crime as quickly and shyly as I could. Chances are if I hadn't responded to him online I wasn't interested... or if I had... it was probably did not go very well since I've only come across two worthwhile potential men on this site.

The end of this story would be that it would be entirely possible he could be reading this right now. And wouldn't THAT be extra embarassing, eh?

The Island-- not a real spoiler alert... but a spoiler alert, anyway.

I must say, I really like the new blogger images thing. Yes it's taken me a couple of weeks to try it, but now I'm in love. I've got to recommend it. Adding a picture to each entry is soooooooooooo Ken and Ariel. Which is to say something I've appreciated in others for a while. That doesn't mean I'm going to do it with each entry... but well... I'll probably be doing it a lot more. So get used to it.

In one of the scenes of The Island they explain that the characters don't know anything about sex. Cut to a scene later on when the two leads lock lips. Their first kiss. Ever. After a moment they part and Lincoln tells Jordan he especially likes "the tongue thing" (to paraphrase). And then they go back to their passionate embrace.

Husband and I looked at each other and he finally said "I didn't like the tongue thing when I first did it." I smiled "I was about to say the same thing." "Yeah. It grows on you, though" "Absolutely. I only kept trying because other people seemed to like it, and then it was fun."

I turned to husband's friend and repeated the gist of the conversation "the tongue thing isn't really great the first time." He stared at me, clearly flabbergasted that I'd say such a thing. "The FIRST time," I said, meaningfully, "EVER." He thought for a second "yeah, you're right. It gets better." I smiled, "I know."

After the movie was over and the friend had gone his way, I told husband about the unintentional/intentional breast contact. "He's such a pimp!" husband said, jealous. I laughed. "I don't know how he does it, he just walks up to that line with girls and manages not to quite cross it!" I laughed again, "yeah, he does a pretty good job of that."

Return of the Mack

Went and saw the Island today. Decent movie. Full of issues, but overall I liked it. But then I wasn't expecting too much. Ewan McGregor is fucking hot when he grins. Which probably means it's something he's learned makes him irresistable and thus he's learned to used it to make himself utterly irresistable. And it works for me.

Anyway. We went with husband's friend. I made it a point to be the first one to take my seat, husband followed, and then his friend sat next to him. Just before the movie husband tripped off to the bathroom. As soon as he stood up and started to walk away husband's friend moved over next to me. Of course, husband saw this, but went to the bathroom without saying anything.

I hooked my hand under his friend's arm and asked him "so, what's up?!" Then giggled and took my arm back. We really didn't have much to say to one another, though the conversation flowed naturally. Husband's friend found reason to hook his hand under my arm the same way I'd done to him which brought his fingers in contact with my breast. He left his hand there for a moment before removing it again.

At the time I thought "his fingers are against my breast!" It was something between scandalized and amused. A few moments later, he found another excuse to do the same thing. The second time I had to laugh at myself as I once again didn't mention the contact but thought "okay, now he's doing it on purpose. Just to feel me up." But of course, I didn't mind.

Husband came back and ended up sitting on the other side of me. Which is exactly what happens everytime the three of us go to a movie. We three talked through the movie (no one near us and myself as the go between) which brought both him and I very close together, whispering as quietly as possible between us. I think once we very nearly kissed completely accidentally. Luckily he was wearing a baseball cap low over his brow which prevented the contact. Luckily. Right?

I'll have to write about the "kissing scene" in the movie, later. Short conversation. Very amusing. And about masturbation last night, too.

But for tonight... I shall leave it at that nothing further happened between friend and I. I don't figure it will, but I bet we'll keep flirting a lot. I love flirting.

Wee.

I flirted quite a bit with Jones today. I figure it just might be the last time, ever, that I get to flirt with him so I might as well get something out of it. Although I didn't really flirt sooo much more than I usually do... it was enough for me. I enjoyed it. And then he stole my drill. Took forever to figure out who stole it, but at least I know where it is. And he will give it back or I'll murder him. I swear it. We know where he lives.

Meanwhile, I also made the mistake of flirting with that particular guy at work which I'm attracted to but shouldn't be. I was only teasing and I forgot momentarily that he wasn't "one of the girls" which lead me to say something I'd usually tease one of the girls with in a lesbian sort of way which everyone knows not to take seriously. Oops. Of course I laughed it off because it was something to BE laughed off but I think I made him uncomfortable. Way to go there, me.

Also, and I'm not sure about it, I think they're secretly planning something behind my back for my leaving work to go elsewhere after tomorrow. I'm not sure about it, but I suspect. And I'm absolutely opposed to it. Dammit. But it's cool. I never really had a going away party before. It'll serve them right if I come right back....

Just ten pounds...

It's amazing the difference ten pounds makes. Over the last two years I've managed to gain about 10 pounds, give or take (probably give). It was never okay with me but now I'm absolutely disgusted by myself. Ten pounds. Just ten. And I don't feel anyone could possibly feel sexually toward me. God knows, I don't.

Ten pounds. Just ten.

Self image is such an important part of sexuality. And mine has gone to shit. Now, those who know me would look me over and say "Ten pounds? Are you kidding?" But ten pounds. That's the difference.

It's very frustrating.

Speaking of tattoos...

Unfurling is talking about getting a tattoo. I've been mulling over the idea for a while. I'm still nowhere near convinced about it... but I'm steadily leaning toward it.

However.

If I get a tattoo it's going to have to be something I really CAN live with having for the rest of my life. And in a place I can stand to have it for the rest of my life.

Anyway, I was considering at length what I'd get. If I were to get a tattoo I'd really want to start with an image I could get excited about. Nothing too detailed because I'm NOT a pain whore... but something I'd like.

I keep thinking of a much-too-detailed poster my sister had on her wall for years. I don't know the artist and can't find it online under the searches I've used (although I swear I found it once last year). Specifically it was a piece depicting a woman who had been welding some kind of man-robot and was caught off guard by the man-robot in question grabbing her in a particularly adult embrace. Even to this day I wonder what the artist was thinking as the story behind the picture as there are several obvious choices. And it's pretty fucking sexy.

The other obsession I have is with incubuses. And I'm not sure that'll ever go away.

But, bleh. Anyway. It's idle thought. Nothing serious. Not trying to steal Unfurling's thunder. Between the two tattoo shows on TV lately and Unfurling... I just got to thinking is all.

See, it's this thing.

I know I said I'd write about Semenex so I'm going to do so but then I'm going to write about other stuff.

My personal opinion on Semenex is that it doesn't work. I was hopeful, I tried... but husband's semen was still bitter as ever and had absolutely no discernible sweetness to speak of. I can't tell you how disappointed I was. So, y'all can make your own decisions but I'm going to have to go with the famous line from a twilight zone episode and say "no change! NO CHANGE!"

Moving on. I'm getting ready to start my new job next week. And I realized last night that there's yet another guy at work that I'm terribly sad to leave behind. See, the thing is, I have this THING for Asian guys. Well, half Asian guys, really. It's like a fetish except not really to that point. More of a... let's say... preference. Not that I have ever in my life slept with or even dated an Asian guy. But I'm sure eventually I will and I shall be hard pressed to not be thrilled. Unless he turns out to be a dick.

Back to the story. So this particular guy is half Asian. He's tall, but with some of the traditional Asian features. Bedroom eyes, too. Sort of Asian... sort of... not. And of course he's got that military quality about him, based on the fact that he intends to be an officer and is going to college for that purpose.

The other delightful quality he has is this kind of shy, quietness, which I appreciate. And he seems to think I'm funny (which is always nice). He's one of those guys who tends to hang out with the girls, but not in a creepy or effeminate way. I just get the feeling he likes women and has the sense to appreciate their company more than that of other males (or at least that of other males at work because the males who work with me act retarded).

So, anyway. I genuinely like the guy and think he'd be way fun to hang out with outside of work. Except I never really hang out with anyone out side of work and I'm his supervisor. And also, I'm attracted to him. So I guess basically I have a bit of a crush on him. And I'm terribly sad to leave that behind.

Luckily, like I mentioned... I'll be dealing with a wide variety of hot, young, military boys. While I'm not into boys... I think I can get over it to appreciate a few of them....

Don't you just hate it...

when someone starts a story and then just doesn't finish it? Don't you hate it when they put it off for days?

Yeah. Me, too.

Experiment:

finished.

Outcome... well... I'll share that later. Needless to say I do have an answer which shall be fully explored at a later time than now. I just wanted a bit of anticipation for you. Call it foreplay.

Dreamy

I had several dreams last night. In particular was one which starred Hal Ketchum, who happens to be one of my favorite singers of all time. I adore his voice, and at least most of his folksy style of music. I don't think he's for everyone, but he's definately for ME.

I saw him walking past in Seattle and begged him to let me get a picture of us together. Except the camera refused to work and the person I asked to take the photo was having extra trouble making it do so. Finally Hal was ready to give up but I convinced him to stay a few moments longer. It was during this time he started asking me about the local hotels (of which I knew nothing) and about somewhere that could keep his cat (which I desperately wanted to do) while he was in town. Eventually, the dream ended, but with a pleasant feeling.

Out of curiousity, I visited his site and discovered that he's selling a guitar and instructional video on QVC. I want it. I want it REALLY BAD. Do I need it? No, of course not. Would I use it? Some. I started to learn to play as a teenager. I do have a hard time sticking with things. But I WANT IT!

I also had a dream about being stabbed by someone. I can't remember exactly what the deal was with it, but I was definately stabbed several times. And it hurt. I'm pretty sure that had something to do with little pointy doggy toes and muscle soreness, but I'm not sure.

And of course, I woke up horny. Which is a good thing because I'm going to need to be horny for later. At least a little. Nothing less fun than giving a clinical blow job....

Side Effect

I've discovered a delightful side effect of semenex. Namely, husband gets hard at the drop of a hat. Or a hint that perhaps I'm interested in testing it. In fact, that will happen TOMORROW but it's been exceptionally easy to get him excited by merely mentioning the product or the testing of it.

Of course, it's entirely selfish hardness on his part. But I expect that from him.

But tomorrow... I shall know the truth about Semenex. God damn I hope it works.

Also, my birthday is over in 20 minutes.

And I'm not telling what I do for a living. I try to be deliberately misleading.

Happy Birthday to...

I worked. I worked very hard. But, of course, I still can't sleep. I took some nyquil. That'll surely knock my ass out.

I watched Made. I like Made. Yes, I am 27 years old and I like Made on MTV. What of it, beeotch? Namely, I was digging the dorky boy who became hot guy. Well, something like that. Because I totally think that's bitchin'. Which isn't to say I want to fuck a 16/17 year old. But rather that I appreciate and approve of the change.

However, seeing the blonde, white girl saying "sure, we can get jiggy with that" sincerely causes me pain. I'm just saying.

Anyway. I should have a first hand review of the semenex sometime very shortly. Here's to science....

Hot boys.

I'm actually pretty excited about the hot boys that I'll be working around. Unfortunately, I fear far too many of them will be exactly that... boys. But it's okay. I'll get over it. Besides hot boys, btw, I will also be dealing with HOT FOREIGN boys because this particular job occasionally involves foreigners in their funny foreign uniforms. And many of them will be single.

Yeah, okay, maybe I'm expecting too much. But... oh... it's been a long time.

I must be drunk

For my title I typed my pass word. I corrected that, of course. That might have been awkward.

I bought the old Harry Potter books. For years I've been told to read them. I finally gave in. FINE. I'll read the mother fuckers. But they better be good. I declined to by the third. Yet.

Husband will be taking his second dose of "the stuff" as I'm now going to call it, just to confuse issues. I think I might prepare it for him to see if his results (flavor and consistancy wise) can be improved upon based on his failing or if it's just always like that. I'll get back to you.

I was told I should put in for a position at a store which I visit quite frequently. Not as a lark, but seriously, because I sort of know the girl who works there and she was like "oh, you could make ($2.00 more an hour) and you'd actually LIKE your job!"

Which brings me to my next point which is that I've been exceptionally worried the last week because come the 30th (or there about) I shall be working at a different location. I'll keep the same job title and take on completely different work. I'm nervous as shit. However, I will be around a fucking huge number of hot, young military boys fresh from basic.

What I know so far.

That stuff I've been talking about? That Semenex stuff? Yeah. I bought some. I just... need to know!

Thus far, husband's review is less than favorable. "It smells okay," I told him. "Yeah, but it's not my favorite stuff." I tried it. I can't disagree. I don't hate it but... I only had a sip. It's a strange pumpkin-pie-lemon thing. I like the aftertaste. Husband... not so much. At all.

But, it takes about two to three days to be "effective." So. We'll see.

He said he could grow to love the taste if it works.

We'll see, we'll see.

Sexual Disfunction

I've been playing a hell of a lot of Burnout 3 on the Xbox. It's somewhat addictive. Until I want to break something, that is. Anyway. I'm not sure if this new found addiction is related to the sudden worsening of a long-term condition I've discovered or what but... I have pain in one of my finger joints.

Now, having pain in this joint isn't the end of the world. Turns out I use the middle finger of my left hand to do a lot more lifting and grabbing than I was aware of. Turns out, though, that this is the exact finger which plays a very important role in my orgasms. If I lost this finger it would be a tragedy. As it stands, it hurts a little to masturbate. Not that it stops me. But it hurts.

And I got to thinking about how much it must suck to have arthritis. Especially if you're a horny girl like me.

Thank god for vibrators....

A million ways I am wrong.

Let's start with the premise that I'm not disgusting. I know my own scent, my own taste, all of that and quite enjoy it. I'm careful to clean before sex (and generally am very picky about showering first) so as to be comfortable with what my body feels, smells, and tastes like during sex.

So. As I was watching some porn it occured to me out of the blue (and unrelated to anything) something that really irritates me. I absolutely loathe a man who loses his hard on when giving oral sex. Yes, I can see a bit of limpening thanks to lack of direct stimulation but a man who loses his hard on completely (or all but completely) irritates me. Here I am ready to be fucked and... oh... great... let's get you BACK in the mood. Hold... on... okay, you know what? I don't think I want to do this anymore.

Okay, maybe it's not that extreme. But I am demanding.

The thing is, when *I* go down I get wet. I get excited. I look forward to what's coming and can almost not wait for it.

I guess I just expect men to be like me.

I'm sure it's wrong of me. In a million ways.

But god damn it irritates me.

Taste

Speaking not at all about Semenex, for whatever reason I was unable to find a single other blogger on google who'd written about their experience with it. I think that's really, really odd. I'm curious as to whether this is because anything and everything ever written about it is spam or if there's something more nefarious even than that going on. I won't speculate further but I wonder.

Anyway, the reason I bring it up is that apparently more than anything else I've ever written in this blog I've gotten a lot of response for writing about semenex. Which is to say either the semenex people are looking for ANY mention of their product... repeatedly... or there are a lot of people who're looking for information on the product.

With no REAL reviews that I'd trust, I find the whole thing just weird.

So tired.

My boss is away from work which means I'm covering a lot of the stuff she would normally do. And between doing her job and mine I'm pretty worn out. But I like it. Damn. I think I want to move up again. Unfortuantely, senior managers in this place are like freakin' cement...

Meanwhile, I finally replaced my rear bumper from the accident I got into back in May. Yes that's almost two months of driving with a mangled rear bumper. I like to think it made people wary of me and allowed for somewhat crazier driving. I did have the pleasure of NOT being able to get my license plate back on for a good 10 minutes. "FUUUUUUUUCK" was about the only thing I could think of to say since it's rather not a good idea to drive without a rear license plate.

However, it's done. I did it in the near dark, of course. Because that's how I am. Tomorrow I'll have to tweak it... but not if it's as smotheringly hot tomorrow as it was today.

Sexually speaking, I was reading a book with a paticularly sexy scene in it, late at night. Husband was asleep in bed next to me so I decided I might as well masturbate. Halfway through (I was taking my very sweet time) my dog appeared from under the covers with my husband (he ONLY sleeps under the covers) and shook himself jingling his collar enough to wake husband. I stopped, trying to look innocent as husband rolled over and fell back asleep.

The next day I related the tale to husband, and he told me sarcastically "yeah, because you wouldn't want me catching you doing that. Because it's a SIN."

This from the man whom I surprised by coming home early one day and catching him masturbating... but in order to cover what he'd been doing he threw a t-shirt on, leaving his business hanging out underneath. No, I couldn't POSSIBLY guess what he'd been doing. But then maybe he thought I was one of the maintenence crew members breaking into the wrong house....

Dreams

I watched Blow Out last night. I don't know why I watch that show. It's dumb as fuck. However, I watched it. And then had a dream about Jonathan and a salon. Nothing sexy. I woke up from it to let the dog out (he's sick) and discovered I was really happy such a lame-ass dream was interupted.

I watched Cat House, the series, last night. I've been watching all the episodes On Demand and happened across one of them on HBO last night. I adore that show. I'm fascinated by it. I find it incredibly entertaining, and it makes me think a lot. So of course I dreamed about it. I had a very strange dream, though, which involved Anderson Cooper (I have such a crush) playing my former health teacher, a trip to Safeway, and a trip to the roller rink. It was all very odd. I'd only slept with two clients in two weeks but it was just enough to keep me from starving. I wasn't really serious about the business, yet. And then I ran across Anderson Cooper and boy oh boy did I want to fuck him. But then I kind of do, anyway.

Of course, I woke up from that one to let the dog out, too. But that was also okay because by the time I woke up Anderson Cooper was gone from the dream.

Saaaaaaaaaad.

I'm terribly sad that Rod of Rod Talks has decided to stop talking. I'm leaving a link to his page for now... give it a few weeks and it'll be gone. He's at least done us the service of letting us know he's leaving instead of just disappearing... but he certainly appears to be done.

Now all that's left is speculation. And a big hole where I used to read every day.

I'm sorely disappointed.

Pierced

Pierced
Originally uploaded by Odalisquek.

Figured I'd throw out another picture of my piercing just to make life interesting. Maybe I'll have to do one with the weird (and eventually uncomfortable) jewelry I bought, too....

Idle Play

Last night, I put husband to bed. I can't remember how I started teasing him... sucking his finger.. something. But we ended up with my hand around his cock. I love to hear him exhale those shaky, uneven breaths of delight. He rarely moans... just gentle sighs. I love his sighs.

I live for those sounds. I love watching him flex his hips up toward my hand as the sensations get more intense. I like to watch his face scrunch up.

Last night, I played with him until I decided it was time for me to go to the bathroom. No orgasm by my hand. I could have gone all the way. But he's so selfish. I like to tease him.

He finally got the hint when I came back to kiss him goodnight. He did the same back to me until he was too tired to continue.

I slipped away so he could sleep and a few hours later had one of the best orgasms ever.

Deeeaaaad

My phone died. So I ordered a new phone. Yes, I could have gone to the mall tomorrow and got one that way... but it's SOOOO much funner to shop online. Even if I DO have to wait for the payoff.

So. Once I get my new cell phone... who wants to call me?

Bad Dreams

I have this obsession with zombies. After watching 28 days later and Dawn of the Dead I've discovered what I fear most... zombies. The other day the power went out and I kept staring out into the street expecting to discover that my home was over run with zombies and that's why it took so long to get the power back on... it was NEVER coming back on thanks to zombies. I was SO CONVINCED it was zombies that I couldn't get myself back to sleep. It was at the highest point of my inner hysteria that the power came back on.

Then last night, I had a dream about zombies. Midway into it I ended up having to kill three of them that I'd let into my house before they changed into zombies. I ACCIDENTALLY fed some to the dog and ate some myself. Yes, in my dream I was unable to resist (or remember) that I was holding a chunk of zombie flesh and just had to have some. Raw. At which point I was freaked out that while zombies don't bother with dogs, it never said whether eating their flesh could infect humans and/or dogs.

By the end of the dream we'd made it to an alien controlled safe place and everything was going to be okay. Maybe.

But seriously, my zombie thing is like WAY out of control.

A matter of taste...

I, for one, NEVER thought Tom Cruise was hot.

I was really disappointed about Mel Gibson, though.

Mark Two

I continued to see Mark for a few months. As I got to know him better he expressed an interest in some mild bondage sm stuff. Since I (like many) have a certain amount of curiosity about the matter he seemed a reasonable person to test it out with. We never got very far, though.

I was his willing subject. Anything he wanted from me, I was happy to give him. It pleased me to be naked next to his complete state of dress. He told me what he wanted me to wear... and asked for permission to film me sucking his cock which I agreed to.

He lay me out on the bed before him, spread wide and touched me all over. "My wife would never let me do this" he said, as his eyes and fingers traced ever fold of my pussy. It was freeing and gratifying to be studied and touched by someone that way. He made me feel sexy and special.

One day he came to spend time with me despite the debilitating quality of some medication he was taking for pain. We spent an hour in bed, touching and talking, and just being together before he got up to leave. He went to the bathroom to take care of some business and as he finished, I dried him off and managed to suck him to orgasm despite his insistence that it was not possible.

We only had intercourse one time. I knew better than to ask it of him, as he thought himself the one in control of the relationship and it worked well not to tell him otherwise. I craved the feeling of his hugeness inside me but despite having already been with a number of guys I was actually afraid that it might hurt. Finally, he came to me one day and told me that today would be the day.

There was much foreplay and some nervousness from my side. But finally he was inside me and it was incredible. We moved around through a few positions and he forced me to stay completely still. I craved feeling him all the way inside me, to feel the hard punishing thrusts of him... but he held back stroking slowly and gently admonishing me when I moved.

He finally came, without me. It was terribly disappointing to have missed the chance of cumming with him inside me but so wonderful to at least feel that closeness.

I fantasized about him for years after that, about his size, his desire to control me.... and I still wonder what more would have happened if husband hadn't come back two months early and complicated things.

Mark One

There was this guy. He was maybe the third guy I slept with in the year 2001. My husband was gone to Korea which left me alone in the house. We'd already decided to try our hands at open marriage and I felt pretty successful... yet completely not. Both of the men I slept with turned out to be less than pleasing for various reasons. I was trying very hard to "whore it up" looking for SOMEONE with whom I might click.

I even invited one guy to the house and then sent him away unfucked because he just wasn't good enough in person. He was the guy who finally moved to kiss me, stuck his tongue in my mouth and just... left it there. Umm. I attempted to make something of it, moving my tongue around his, sucking at his tongue... anything... but he stayed completely still. Finally, I broke it off, completely disgusted. He looked at me quizzically and asked "don't you like to kiss?" Uh... YEAH... with someone who knows more than "stick tongue in mouth," idiot. I shrugged, though, and said "guess not." It wasn't long after that that I sent him home.

A week or two later I met Mark online. He and I clicked mentally but he had no picture of himself. It made me hesitant but I sent him mine and he was interested in me. He turned out to be married, which brought me only the briefest of hesitation. She was out of town. I invited him over as it was his last chance while she was gone. He agreed, but later called me to beg off with some excuse which I forget. I was irritated as I'd been expecting him (and there are few things worse than being stood up for sex) but accepted his decision. A couple of weeks of continued flirting and interest, I invited him over again. His wife was home, but I still didn't care. This time he showed up.

When he arrived he turned out to be an attractive guy maybe 7 or 8 years my senior. Average height, pale hair. What I remember most was how very slight he was. My tastes had never run toward men of his build but I was open to new experiences. Overall, he looked a lot like SNL cast member Seth Meyers.

We stayed downstairs for almost an hour chit-chatting before he finally decided he'd had enough of the talk and kissed me. His kiss was more teasing and gentle, fluttering over my lips, gentle kisses which were hot... and utterly unsatisfying. I like more contact. But I had no room to complain as they served to leave me wanting more of him. I moaned into his mouth inadvertently and he drew back to tell me he liked that reaction. It wasn't long before we were in bed.

We played a bit that afternoon. After I got him naked I was utterly shocked, surprised, and delighted at how very generous genetics had been to him. Having already slept with 5 or 6 men, he was by far the most endowed. Truly, his size was incongruous to his build. I remember sometime after I'd brought him to orgasm, gazing at his cock and saying something like "my god... does it ever get soft? It's huuuge" to which he responded "it IS soft." I argued with him but he remained adamant and later escapades proved him right.

You decide.

Husband's favorite band of all time is Queen. His favorite artists are Neil Diamond, Elton John, and Gloria Estefan. He also heartily enjoys ABBA.

You be the judge. I'm just saying.

Alcohol

What is it about the first shot (or two) which seems to go directly to my genitals?

Because, seriously. I'm feeling it. RIGHT THERE. And it's way too yummy a sensation to come from some drink.

A few minutes.

I looked at the clock and thought "well, gosh... I have a few minutes" and decided to cum. It's very annoying that those type of orgasms are not nearly as good as those which are preceeded by the thought "fuck, I gotta cum." Not that they aren't good. They're just not AS good.

Semenex.

I'm seriously considering buying some for Husband. Mostly out of curiosity. And of course because Husband tells me (everytime I mention anything about it) that he will happily eat anything I tell him to (within reason) to increase his chances of getting a blow job. I figure this would be an option.

However, other than their website (which I admit has a lot of references to media reviews) I'm having trouble finding "real life" reviews of the product. Anyone know anything?

(Update: please see my own review of the product here.)

Fore!

I used Husband's hand to play with my nipple. I rubbed his fingers over it, letting his fingers trail an outline of my breast before returning them to my nipple, again... drawing increasingly erratic breathing from me.

"It's like you're masturbating with my hand," he said, "like it's... someone else's." I knew what he meant. That was the whole POINT.

But he was tired. And I remain at a loss as to an acceptable alternative birth control. So we stopped.

Maybe tomorrow....

Look....

One of the sexiest most deliciously sensual feelings I've enjoyed with a lover is the initial feeling of having them spread my pussy lips to ease entrance inside. It makes me squirm with excitement as I gaze at them, their eyes glued below. I adore the feeling of the cool air on my hot, wet insides and the knowledge that they are gazing upon and lusting after my most intimate parts.

Tonight, husband spread me open just a bit to slip the head of his cock inside. It was delicious.

Breasts!

I like mine today. I like the way they fill out my shirt. And I love my piercings.

Breasts. They totally rock.

Dreaming Again

Last night I had a dream that I was at this strange place which was a mix of where I work, some entertainment/hollywood style business, and my home. There were two showers, one of which was upstairs but really small and another which was in the back of one of the tractor-trailers which was semi-public but huge. I was going for my shower in the trailer when I met up with one of the hollywood types.

A rather attractive black man approached me. I knew him to be married but there was certainly some attraction between us. I made it my mission to try to attract him into the shower with me because that sounded fucking hot. We got to kissing, necking, and heavy petting. However, before things could progress a woman came in and was watching us and started talking to the man. We tried to look innocent but it was clear she knew what was going on and was trying to prevent it.

Eventually, I left them to take the shower. By then more people had come out and there were several people watching me. Not wanting to be a complete dork, I let them do so and gradually they all left leaving me to bathe in peace.

The end.

The make out session was great. However, it's very clear to me that I have a fetish for men being behind me. I like the feeling of being kissed, touched, rubbed, and certainly fucked from behind. I like leaning back against a man's body... I like watching his hands moving over my flesh the way my own would.... When I fantasize about sex these days... it always involves someone behind me. I'm not sure what that's about. I have theories. It's hard to do anything but concentrate on pleasure when one's lover is behind them. Afterall, I don't have arms behind me..... Not to mention the faceless quality.....

Whatever the case... I clearly need to find me a man-whore.

A reserved nod...

I must give a reserved nod (which is to say a questioning acceptance) to the new Coca Cola Zero which tastes more like regular coke than diet. It's... different. I'm not convinced I'm going to like it forever... take for instance C2 which I adored when it first came out... until I could start TASTING the "other" flavor which was just nasty. This one has a faint flavor of diet... with an odd sweetness, too. So for now I accept it. But I'm perfectly willing to reverse that decision.

On to the good stuff. I flirted with Jones a little bit today. Not nearly as much as I'd have liked. The draw back being that I was reminded, again, that he thinks he's god's gift to women... which I do believe HE believes... and well... no one needs to be THAT cocky.

Husband's friend (I've forgotten his nickname again) and I have been trading e-mails. I suppose if anything interesting were to happen it would be tonight but since nothing interesting is going to happen between him and I tonight... well... c'est la vie, mon ami. Husband comes home in the wee hours of Sunday and I work late on Saturday so... yeah... this is my last party day. I'm making the best of it by drinking my Coca Cola Zero. Yippee! I ought to be having wild sex.

But if I'm honest... I haven't really, truly wanted to sleep around since the exceptionally unfortunate incident with Frank in the beginning of the year. I guess it just makes me more leary of new people. Even though Frank was not new people to me. That actually makes it worse. Dammit.

I fully admit...

I fully admit that I'm horny.

However.

A man describing himself as six feet of grade A meat STILL doesn't turn me on.

Thinking about School

This coming new year will mark the 10 year anniversary of my graduation. My husband didn't get to go to his reunion. I'm not sure I'll get to go to mine. I'm not sure I want to. But I'm tempted.

So I pulled out the old 1996 year book and looked up a few people. And I'm not 100% sure but I'm fairly sure I found a more current picture of my only real crush from that time (besides of course one of my teachers). And I'm like... weirded out. Because. You know. Just because. I mean, I saw the picture and thought "oh... my... god... that's HIM." Same career field I knew he was going into... but a different country, now, apparently... and he went from blonde to... dark haired. Which is kind of weird. But he still looks just like him. I pulled out the photo and I'm pretty sure....

Also, this really hot guy I went to school with whom I was SURE was joining the military went away to study the BIBLE in college and then became a fire fighter with a hot wife. And I'm like "woah" on that one, too. Not that I liked him. But it's just so weird.

This is why I think I'm NOT going back to the reunion. Because all this just boggles my mind.

Not that there's one planned yet. One thing my class never had was a sense of community.

Also, one of my "friends" from high school who was really a friend of a friend more than anything has photos from her wedding online. She just got married this year and she looks EXACTLY THE SAME. Of course, so do I....

Searches

I usually find it interesting to see what kind of search terms other sites get. Here are some of mine...


"my bladder is full" masturbate (Google)

"satisfaction from masturbation" (Google)

"watch husband" wife (Google)

"A taste of the good wife" (Google)

"best position for cumming" (Netscape)

"eric price" "charlie stone" (Google)

"finally had sex again" (Google)

"increasing nipple size" male (Google)

"the tip of my clit" (Google)

guys "increasing nipple size" (Google)

A Dream

Last night I had a dream that I had the choice of a bevy of male beauties on which to satisfy myself. Men of all different varieties were available (as in physique and looks... however looking back it's interesting that all of them were white). I'd been looking but decided not to actually DO anything about it. Another woman came along, a friend, and asked that I set her up for a super wild night of sex with one of them. She wanted something involving aphrodisiac and a lot of fucking.

The idea appealed and as I was researching this for her, I found myself liking the idea of getting me a little something, too. I ended up finding a lengthy recipe that would turn the women involved into voracious sexual animals. Inhibitions would be gone, orgasms would be multiple, and the men would leave worn out. Perfect. But knowing how tireless I often am when it comes to sex with a new partner, I figured I'd take the prescribed potions too... but in a smaller amount than recommended. Just enough to get me started.

I readied the ingredients and went off to pick the men. I found myself quickly joined by a muscular man. I couldn't see him, only feel the firmness that was his entire body pressed against my back. He could be ugly as hell or gorgeous, I wasn't sure. But his forwardness and the exciting feel of his hot partially naked (clad only in jeans) body excited me.

I kept him there, against me, and told him my plans. The idea of four of us getting together (really two couples... but the sex drugs might nix that separation)... but I didn't want to know what he looked like. I would meet with him at the doorway to the chosen location blindfolded and spend the entire night that way never knowing what he looked like.

I left him, then, still feeling the hot imprint of his body on my back and found another man for my friend. I informed him of her wishes and went off to get ready, dosing both the other woman and myself with the potions so they would have time to take effect. I went to my room and searched for condoms coming up with only one. Knowing the woman would take care of her own condom needs I tried to figure out how I was going to spend an entire night having sex... with only one condom... which for all I knew was the wrong size.

That's about the time I woke up. Because I almost NEVER have sex in dreams. No satiation for me.

Were the dream to continue, though...

I would go to the chosen location. Alone. The other couple could be inside... or not yet arrived. Whatever the case, I blindfold myself and await the man I have so blindly chosen. I lean against the wall... I can hear footsteps. My breathing increases... but they pass. Another set of footsteps follows closely. These stop near me. I turn my head in the direction where they last were. I feel breath against my face. "Follow me" he says, his voice husky and quiet. His fingers find my face, cupping my cheek before it slides down my neck, down my shoulder and arm, leaving a trail of warm shivers. Finally, he lifts my hand and places it on his forearm and escorts me inside. His forearm, too, is hot. I can feel the unlikely softness of his skin and the faint smell of his cologne. So male.

He opens the door to the atrium I have chosen. Indoor, and temperature controlled it seems perfect for the sport of animalistic fucking. I inhale the warm, humid, fertile scent and it sends my mind racing forward... him inside me.... oh....

He leads me inside, deeper into the large room. He stops and I stop, too. He leans down toward me his lips against my ear, his words barely more than a breath. "It looks like they beat us here... I can see them... do you want to know what they're doing?" I bite my lip and nod slowly, feeling somewhat ashamed for wanting to know... but also feeling the drugs beginning to work. "He's got his head buried between her legs now... she's laying back, legs wide open, her fingers buried in his hair pulling his face into her... she's cumming...."

I moan a little. "Please...."

He laughs softly, "maybe they'd like to watch us, too" and leads me on. I still can't hear them but we don't go too far before he stops again. I have no idea if we're still in view of the other couple or completely hidden. My mind is a jumble of what ifs as he stops again and steps away from me. I can hear him breathing and moving but I cannot tell what he's doing. Finally he touches me again. Without warning he draws my shirt up over my head leaving me in my bra and pants. He steps against me, his naked chest warm against me and then his lips are on my own.

A moment of hesistation and then I force the kiss deeper, drawing his tongue into my mouth, pushing mine into his. I'm ready to be done with the foreplay, ready to have him inside me RIGHT THIS INSTANT. I let my fingers find their way downward, over the hair on his chest following the trail down to his pants. Jeans. Oh, yes. I graze my finger over the zipper, feeling for the bulge. Hard, already, I trace the outline, tracing the curve of the head. It feels amazing, hard, otherwordly, and far too inaccessible.

His mouth stays on mine, his fingers removing my bra as I work on his pants needing him inside me.


...oops... I ran out of steam..... Maybe more later. Maybe.

Hair Thing

First off, husband is gone for the week. Second... I'm totally jealous.

Out of boredom I went to canyoutell.com . It's a sauve versus the expensive brand "test" of three different types. Can you tell the difference between who used Suave and who used the more expensive brand? I could. All three times. The odd part... it comes back with "see? You really can't tell the difference." I guess they couldn't have really admitted anything else....

I have this hair obsession. Even though mine's rather pathetic. I think it has something to do with the amount of time I spend "reading" Glamour and Marie Claire. I've learned to be able to tell....

Anyway.

This is what happens when I'm all alone.

That and a lot of cleaning.

Vacation.

Husband is going on a week long vacation shortly. Starting Sunday. I'd have liked to go but my work isn't nearly as liberal with leave as his is. Of course he's already pointed out that he'll "likely be bored by the middle of the week" which is probably true... but at least he doesn't have to go to work. There's a purpose to his trip beyond "vacation" and in fact it'll likely feel not very much like a vacation at all. As far as I'm concerned he needs to make it very clear to those he's there to see that he's there for THEM and to help THEM and not to sit on his ass. Likely, he'll sit on his ass.

But anyway.

I get to have a WHOLE WEEK to myself. How excited am I? I mean, other than how much having sole care of the damned dogs is going to suck (in... out... pet... in...out...in...out-in...). It'll be nice to be alone. It's times like these when I wish I still had a lover because then I know EXACTLY what I'd be doing over those 7 days. I've, in the past, set up one night stands for these weeks but I'm not sure I'm up for that. Lately I remain emotionally fragile. It so sucks.

Plus, the timing being what it is... I ought to be right in the middle of my period while he's gone. Yippppeeee!

Oh, A/Cs fixed. THANK GOD. Turns out the heat and PMS contributed to my piss poor attitude of late. I hope it's better today!

Coincidence?

Tuesday morning one of the work crew from the maintanence crews stopped my husband and I. "Hey, did you call in that your air conditioning is broken?" I thought for a half second and replied, chirpily "nope. It's not us!" then added "ours is working great!"

As I got into the car to drive away I watched them head to the same lettered (similarly numbered) house across the street and thought no more of it.

Wednesday morning I woke up hot and bitchy as hell. I walked downstairs to where my husband was playing on his computer and checked the temperature. Over 80. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I asked him and flipped the a/c lower. Except it was already running. Warm.

SON OF A BITCH. Our A/C went out. Now, riddle me this... what the fuck are the chances our A/C would go out within 24 hours of someone asking me if it was working? Consider that it has been running perfectly for 2 years. What. The. Fuck. Knowing that in the past it's been a problem with the pipes freezing up we left it off yesterday and suffered through the heat of the day as the thermostat inside passed 90.

It is now 5am. It is still 85 degrees in the house. There is no fucking frozen pipe anymore. I thawed rock hard meat on the counter in a matter of a couple of hours. There is no question NOTHING in this house is frozen anymore except that which is locked securely away in the freezer.

So we went to bed. I took a cold shower and we turned a fan on the bed. I crawled into the already too hot bed and we tried to sleep. "You didn't even TRY to kiss me" I told him, after a while. It's our night time ritual to always share a kiss and then go to sleep. So he coaxed me over and we made out like teenagers. "I DON'T want to have sex" I warned him as soon as we started, "it is WAY too hot." Which is about the time he started really wanting to play kissy face.

Fucking irritates the shit out of me that he won't fuck me but if there's no pressure he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

Of course, EVERYTHING fucking irritates me right now because it's hot and I become the fucking incredible hulk when I'm this hot and I can feel the sweat like little bugs crawling across my flesh. Not to mention the restive night I've spent tossing and turning and smacking the dog for licking wet spots in the bed randomly.

Here's to the maintanence crew being punctual tomorrow....

This shhh's bananas! b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

Yeah, okay. So I don't care for the song but somehow it sticks in my head.

Anyway, Jones came into work today and I flirted with him just a touch. He flirted with me a bit ("need a seat?" gesturing to his lap... to which I responded "no... I'm afraid it might be uncomfortable... you know... pokey.") and I was like "you know I'd love to flirt with you but I get all weirded out when the kid is around" the kid being his nephew who really doesn't need to see his dirty uncle teasing the youngsters (that'd be me). He seemed to "get it" and let it be. But later I made some mildly dirty comment in front of one of the younger guys I work with (namely Jones bent down next to me to pick something up and I told him maybe he ought to stay down there for a bit) and he returned in kind ("is there something you'd like me to do while I'm down here?") at which point I acted dumb. He glanced at the guy and smiled at me knowingly and left it at that.

And then I worked until 2am.

The end.