A telling exchange

I was lazing over husband as he was snuggled into bed. We were having our evening "goodnight" as he readied for sleep. I reached over and took my birth control pill and told him "well, if I can't find my new packs, I'll be off the pill for the month." (I'm making due with the tail end of a pack from when I messed up and missed too many pills that month).

"If you remind me I'll look for it tomorrow," he said.

"Well, I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of going off it anyway because all it does it makes me depressed and if I'm depressed and not having sex ANYWAY... seems pointless." He got very quiet at this point. "I'm not trying to be mean. I"m just letting you know. In case you want to stop me."

"okay," he said. Nothing more.

I tried not to be hurt.

Finally I asked in a small voice, "are we ever going to have sex again?"

"yes," he told me, "but not right now."

"No, I didn't mean right now. I was just asking. It's just... is it me?"

He shrugged, "No," he replied, "I haven't masturbated in two days." Which made me laugh. I try to laugh and be friendly during these conversations. I want to MAKE SURE he knows I'm not MAD and I'm not accusing him of anything. I just want answers. But that actually made me laugh.

"Two days?! TWO DAYS?!?" I giggled. "We haven't had sex since the 29th of November!"

He got quiet again. "I know. We will."

"How come you get so mad when I ask you these things?"

"Because I feel guilty."

I laughed, "it's your catholic upbringing... you're only allowed to have sex to make babies." He laughed, too. Then I added, "so you feel guilty so you get mad at me? How does this make sense?!?" We giggled a bit and got off topic and left it at that.

I try not to push these things too far but I'm inquisitive and want to know wtf is going on in his head.

So.