Thoughts

Husband and I had a very long, very emotional talk. He cried, even. Basically, I told him that at the rate we're going we're certainly going to end up divorced and I see no better time to do so than when we move back home next year. Not that I wanted to, but I told him I can't help but feel my life isn't going how I want it to and I don't see myself in this situation even 10 years from now. It's unacceptable. God knows if anything at all will change... but maybe. Even if we don't have sex again anytime soon it's the OTHER stuff that really bothers me. So it's out in the open. We talked. I already feel better. For now.

On a different note, I uploaded a couple of photos I let Keith take of me going down on him. He also caught a few of me masturbating. Those I liked less. But that's because I'm not thrilled with my body. However, the smile on my face as I'm leaning in to take Keith into my mouth certainly caught the joy and pleasure I felt being with him. It's not a beautiful picture of me... but it is a beautiful picture none the less. And it makes me really sad I'll never see him again.

Cade came in and barely spoke to me. In and out. That quick. I think he was disappointed that I'm married. I'm disappointed he's not naked. So I guess we're just both bound to be disappointed.

I'm seriously considering asking to be put on a pretty much all closing schedule because I really like getting to see my favorite boys and don't get to do that when I work the morning shift....