Frustration

So yesterday all day at work I had that happy, dreamy thing going on. I spent the day smiling for no reason. Grinning sometimes. Thinking about my weekend. Thinking about the fact that I managed to sleep with MP AND Whit, thus so completely breaking my celibate streak. Exactly what I needed. Which was great for the first half of the day.

The second half of the day I was still happy and smiling. But also increasinly horny. I found myself keeping an eye out for any number of men whom I have made eyes at or just generally found attractive. Many came in. And yet things never seemed to go as planned.

One in particular was this guy who's surely a couple of years younger than me. I think he's pretty hot. And he's always been funny and nice. Basically, I always kind of wanted him but never really figured it'd come of anything, so I flirt with him just a little. So he came in wearing a tank top showing off his rather lovely, military body. When he walked up to the counter I shook my head at him and said "what's up with your parading around here looking like some common street floozy?" He stood there, staring at me for a long moment a grin on his face and stepped slightly away as if flabbergasted. And maybe he was. But his smile belied his actions. I waited for a response momentarily before saying "I mean 'hi, how was your weekend?'" and smiled innocently. He said it was too short, an answer I get a lot. I mentioned that I got a bit too drunk on Saturday but I told him "I'm a very nice drunk." He smiled at me and told me, "yeah, I am too. A very touchy feely one." I stared at him, unable to respond, my thoughts swirling towards those possibilities. I SHOULD have said "we have to get you drunk!" Instead I continued to stare at him, unmoving. He put his finger on his chin and said "you're like 'hmm'" letting me know he knew exactly what was going through my mind. I laughed and finished the transaction. He left with a smile. It's only too bad he didn't wink.

Later on the guy that I accidentally flirted with a while back came in. I was already talking to Hawk (telling him FAR too much about my weekend activities) when he walked in... and as usual Hawk tends to stay too long. I really didn't get to have a conversation with the guy at all and he left before Hawk so I didn't get to even seriously consider propositioning him.

I kept looked at the people entering the store all night, still looking for Sam or another couple of guys. I knew MP wasn't coming in, but part of me hoped he would. I think today is the first day he'd be likely to come in. But probably much later in the evening. Damn. I was also looking for another AFF friend I ran into there. There's definitely some chemistry, although whether either of us will act on it, I can't say. Yesteday, however, I would have taken him into the back and done at least one or two dirty things to put a smile on my face.

Wade came in at the end of the day. The store was closed when I saw him walk into the lobby area to use the ATM. I stepped out and stared at him. "I'm stalking you," he said. Nevermind that I was the one looking at him. "You're doing a terrible job," I told him. We talked for a while. He asked me what my plans were tonight and I told him "to sleep." Explaining my schedule for the last week as well as my schedule for today. I asked if he wanted to come into buy anything and he smiled "how much?" I smiled back and said "more than you can afford." He grinned, "how do you know?" He got me there. So we talked a little more and I flirted a little more as he asked how my weekend was "VERY good," I told him. He asked about it and I said "if I told you, you'd be mad." "Mad?" He asked. "Jealous." "Ah, probably." I invited him in again to take out the garbage for me but he declined. No shock there. He asked if I was still moving. I said yes. He shook his head sadly and left just after that. I think if he would have come into the store I might have... made myself more available to him in that moment....

Trian came in, too. However, he pretty much came in and left, though I tried to be friendly. My coworker was there and we both try not to be too obvious of our more personal (if not intimate) knowledge of one another.

So yeah. Lots of "almosts" but too many "nots."

Lastly, Whit invited me over again last night but I declined. Which was the ultimate top off to my day. I turned down sex. But then again, it was after 10 and I had to be up in less than 7 hours. That's my story, anyway.