Slut.

I don't remember exactly what it was. But I suddenly thought "oh my god... I'm such a slut!" At least in my head I am.

It struck me the other day, at some point... in relation to something... that maybe most people don't think like I do. I was chatting up a hot guy the other day. I've chatted with him a few times before, online. We've never met. Never gotten too terribly serious in conversation, mostly superficial. He told me that he'd probably thought of getting me naked at least ten times during our very platonic conversation. And I thought "wow, I want to get him naked, too." At which point I thought to myself that if I didn't have certain circumstances (namely the infection) to deal with I'd most assuredly be trying to get an invitation to his place to get myself laid.

It was a few hours after that when I started thinking about the fact that most people wouldn't even seriously consider sleeping with someone they've never met previously. And then I started thinking about what it would be like to have those kinds of restrictions on my sexuality. Which aren't neccessarily BAD restrictions. Merely ones I've never really experienced for myself in a serious way. They're just not part of who I am, I guess. At least, not in that way. I do have some restrictions. But they're not exactly... laws, I guess.

I don't think badly of myself because I lack those controls. I think I'm fine. Great, even. There are those who're wilder than I am. And those who are more controlled in their sexuality. I'm happy where I am, for now. But it's interesting when these things strike me in that way....