So much going on lately. I got a call yesterday from work asking me if I wanted to go work an hour away for a week. Of course, I get a hotel room. Fuck. Okay. Send me. Because it's only an hour away, I'll likely take my car because I loathe the feeling of being trapped, even if I don't go anywhere.
I started looking around for someone to come see me. Last time I stayed in a hotel I managed not to get together with anyone (though DJ was supposed to show up but instead became permanently MIA). I was a bitter, angry woman. So I figured this time I'd pick one of the guys I've been looking into and invite him. If it was convenient enough. Except, oddly, everyone I was considering lives as far from the city to which I'm heading as they do from me right now.
Or so I thought.
Before I left work (and knew about this trip) I ran into MP at work. I was walking back from putting something in my car and he was coming in to buy something. He yelled something at me but it didn't register. He yelled again something like "why are you such a bitch?" which made me turn around. "What?" I asked. And as he got closer he said, "Why're you such a bitch?" The funny thing is, I couldn't POSSIBLY be offended by the question because I KNOW I'm a bitch to him on a regular basis and it was undeniable. I shrugged and said something flip. After a moment I said "hey, did you see my new car?" He mocked it a little and I told him, "fuck, it's way better than the Neon." He had to agree.
So we talked a little more as we headed into the store but neither of us had anything of interest to say, really, since the walk was very short. I stared at him, though, as he went through the line and talked to my coworker. He's very charming and friendly with BOTH Of my coworkers and they both appear to adore him. To me, he acts like an ass (thus why I treat him badly). And I thought, "fuck, if he acted like that toward me." And then I thought, "he is pretty cute. maybe I should...."
Anyway. So last night, after I found out about my trip I mentioned it to him and he told me that he lives about 15 minutes from that city. Hmm. So we talked and made some super tentative plans. It all depends on my schedule and whether my room can be artfully placed away from my coworkers. I'm hoping if I drive myself down there I will have more control over the placement of my room and thus my privacy. I told him I'd let him know for sure when I knew anything other than "I'm going to the city this week."
Meanwhile, Keith was (oddly) online in the middle of his day (my night). Here I had been awake since 4:30 in the morning save for an hour nap in the evening and I ended up staying up and talking to him until almost 3AM. Fuck.
The conversation was really, really interesting and well worth it. Though I find myself more frustrated both with my situation and his, and with him in general. While I still adore him and pine for our two nights together and the hope of a third, he's come out to me about a lot of really interesting, really kinky (okay, perverse) things. The first time he told me any of this I kind of rolled my eyes as, during our time together, he'd seemed passionately opposed to those self-same things. Now it turns out he adores them? It makes me angry and frustrated that he couldn't tell me those first two nights. Or in the intervening 7 months since then. Having read my blog (at least in passing) he should surely be familiar with what I'm interested in and be able to wave his hands and say "me, too! me too!" without being too concerned I'd turn him away. But he never did.
So, yes. I'm bitter. And frustrated. And excited. And a little scared. Because despite my intense interest in those areas... I have absolutely no experience and feel like a damned amateur next to him. Dammit. Obviously, there is no better time to start than the present but it's still vaguely worrisome that I'll somehow disappoint him next time. Which really is the same worry I've been carrying the last 8 months.
Anyway.
The perversity all culminates in my laughing to my husband and telling him, "wouldn't it be funny if this one week away from home I get my period?" Welcome to irony. I've had none of my regular PMS symptoms (especially the really obvious physical ones) and yet... I started cramping a bit ago. I felt the blood leave my face as I realized exactly what that meant.
Turns out I have news for MP much sooner than I expected.
No comments:
Post a Comment