Virgins with Virgins...

I was talking to this guy online. No interest in him, really. Well, I was once. But everyone makes mistakes.

I keep accusing him of being a virgin. Specifically a 16 year old virgin. It wouldn't surprise me if that were actually the case. He told me that being a 16 year old virgin would certainly put him into a good position to fuck other 16 year old virgins.

Which got me to thinking about my first attempts at sex. Specifically, with my first boyfriend (at age of 18). I won't talk about HIS age, but he was younger than me. Which probably technically makes me a criminal, though I don't feel like much of a pervert. He started it, dammit. Regardless, we shared a lot of firsts. He was my first kiss and I, his. The first time we kissed each other (with tongue) was... interesting. Afterward we stared at one another for a long moment and I think I said "that was really weird. I'm not sure we did that right." And he agreed, looking vaguely troubled.

Practice makes perfect and looking back I'm pretty sure our first tongue kiss was actually a real, normal kiss. It just felt so different from anything either of us had ever experienced. It took some getting used to. Time passed and we shared some really great kisses. I gave him all sorts of hand jobs and oral sex during that time, too, but when he came he always liked me to be kissing him on the mouth. Well. Not always.

Things progressed between us in that way, but he never agreed to us having "real" sex. I wanted to feel a man inside me for my first time and he refused. I put a condom on him once in preparation but he went limp very quickly and told me he'd changed his mind.

Eventually, we broke up, having never completed that particular transaction. Shortly afterward, I met a reasonably attractive guy about 10 years older than me who took my virginity. Were I to go back to him at my present level of knowledge and skill we'd probably be pretty fucking awesome together. However, because I was so inexperienced and he was so unprepared for my lack of understanding (and ultimately enjoyment) of sex, it ended up being pretty bad. He knew I was a virgin, I'm just not sure he really understood exactly how virginal I was. I think we ended up having sex three times. Maybe as many as four. And then he told me he thought I was getting too serious about him and he felt compelled to break things off completely before he broke my heart. I kind of think he just wasn't that into me and found the sex boring as hell. I wouldn't blame him.

It's my own memories of my crap-tastic showing during my early sexual experiences that makes it very clear to me that I definitely don't want to be anyone else's first time. Thanks but no thanks. That's just too much responsibility.

However, I do still find myself wondering what it would have been like to have had sex with my first boyfriend. The sharing and learning about our bodies and our bodies responses and the mechanics of sex might have been really special. Just the way our first awkward attempts at kissing led us to some really wonderful, passionate moments after the shared initial discomfort of not knowing what we were doing, I can't help but wonder if fucking him would have been similar. I wonder how my sexuality would have developed differently with him.

Anyway, I was thinking that maybe virgins with virgins isn't a bad idea. I'm sure there's something to be said for being a virgin with a more experienced man but looking back... I can't help but wonder how it could have been different.