Bitching.

Husband is officially on his new schedule as of last night. He stayed up until 7 am. So I get today to myself. It's weird.

I did my part to help him out with that by going out to a bar with him and his friend until 1am. I spent the better part of the night flirting with him. The friend that is. Not in a way to embarass or upset husband. In fact, he was pretty cool about the whole thing which was nice. I'm really not into his friend anymore (not like years ago) but I'm willing to at least flirt with him. It's kind of funny how much bolder in flirting with him I am now that I KNOW that not only COULD I have sex with him (afterall, he's got a girlfriend AND a wife right now) but that it wouldn't freak me out or even make things weird if I DID. All the while knowing I won't.

Needless to say I did NOT get laid last night. Not even sort of. And I woke up this morning with imaginary visions (or more like sensations) of being fucked. Unfortunately it's not that sort of sensation like "oh, god I have to go masturbate right now." No, it's one of those sensations like "god dammit I want to be fucked!" But of course, I won't be.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to decide if I really want to get together with this man whom I've met with twice but never slept with. He's quite nice, but I'm not sure there's a whole LOT of passion there. Of course, that's something that can be built but when I hear from him only every few months on average it's hard to maintain that. So I'm not sure what I want to do. Yes, I'm horny and feel like getting laid and husband isn't providing and DJ is being difficult... but hell. I really AM looking for something that's less than a one night stand. Or a couple-nights-a-year stand.

Dammit, I want a boyfriend. Not even the dating kind. Just the kind that'll give it up at my command. Dammit!