I feel like such a freaking dork.

First time sex is rarely good. And when one makes virginal mistakes it's even worse. *sigh*

So, we went to a hotel. The first thing I noticed upon walking in was the stench of stale piss. Lovely. The second thing was the roaches. This was a chain hotel. Not some random roadside dive. I NEVER would have expected that. My stomach was churning over how nervous I was in the first place and seeing the roaches (and having him kill them) got my gag reflex up and running. I stood, huddled in my jacket afraid to touch anything for fear a roach would appear and climb into my stuff and I'd end up taking the disgusting things home with me.

WB went off to the bathroom to take care of that while I stood there, retching and trying to decide if I should refuse outright or suggest we go elsewhere or just suck it up and hope he made it worthwhile. I kept thinking "if I'm miserable like this it won't be good... how can I respect myself and do this in this place?" Then he came out. I know I was shooting him looks of "please... god... not here..." and I made a few comments about it not being a good idea.

And then he started touching me. He has nice hands. His fingers slid under my shirt caressing my back and I thought "well, maybe I can get over the smell... and the roaches are in hiding...." And then he touched me more, his mouth on me and I forgot everything.

He's got great hands. I have to give him credit. He's good with his mouth, great with his hands. He knew I was nervous. He knew I was scared and he touched me and kissed me until I just didn't CARE anymore.

I must break in, though, and admit I just didn't "get" his kissing style. There are several guys who've kissed me and I've just been completely lost as to exactly how I'm supposed to work with what they're doing (and no I'm not going to explain) and this was one of those situations. I still have to give the ex credit for being the absolute best kisser I've ever encountered. Oh, god damn do I still think about his kisses. But I digress.

We gradually got more and more naked until we were both in our underwear. He pulled mine aside and began to finger my pussy. It felt so good to have his fingers grazing my wetness. His fingers were slick against my clit, just right. Not right enough to get me off. Right enough to make me want to, though.

Eventually, he asked me if I wanted to make love. I can't remember my response. A nod. A yes. I don't know. But then he was there, inside me. Condom and all. And I fucking hate condoms. It was nice having him inside. Not great. I get this feeling he felt the same way. He went soft, eventually. I rather assumed he'd cum. Some guys it's hard to tell with. He rolled away and we lay quietly. Until he started touching me again. Tongue against my clit. Oh, god damn.

I'm pretty sure that I am, at this point, confident in the fact that I like to receive oral sex. I'm still nowhere near cumming. But it feels fucking AWESOME. He did a fine job of it, too, I must say. I let him off the hook, though, eventually. Let him know I wasn't going to cum that way but it was well recieved.

I ended up masturbating for him. Well, for me, truth be told. But I wasn't sure I was going to cum. The night was so awkward. It was a hard fight. I did cum, though. And it was nice. It was a bit after that he informed me that he still hadn't cum. I tried not to show my surprise. I mean, I do like to seem knowledgable and not being able to tell if a guy has cum doesn't make me look all that smart.

I wrapped my fingers around his cock, making it hard again. There's something so wonderfully magical about making a man's cock hard. I moved down and took him in my mouth. His response was quick. He likes that. I heard him say something about him being about to cum and stupid me, I thought I could hold him off a bit. I drew back. And he started cumming. Is there ANYTHING worse than cumming and being left out to dry? I felt so bad. I realised my mistake and tried to help finish him off but I clearled fucked that one up. Big time. I was SO embarassed and felt SO bad. I couldn't even bring myself to apologize as profusely as I should have. So I shall apologize here. I am SOOOOO sorry, dear, for letting you down like that. Next time I'll know better.

Anyway, we snuggled quite a bit after that. And talked. It was pleasant. We finally separated and went our own ways.

I must say it was definately an awkward first experience. But it was pleasant. I had a good time and I still like him quite a lot. Hopefully next time will be better....