Just thinking.

Martin has made himself completely scarce. I never hear from him anymore. We went from seeing him at least once a month, sometimes twice... to... not in months. Seeing as I was "the other woman" I kind of feel a sense like I need to let him make the first move to come back into our lives. However, more recently husband asked him if we were going to get together for a PPV at his house (something we've done fairly regularly for the last year or so because he's got a kick-ass TV) and he declined. In fact, he's declined to "invite us" at least twice. Which is okay. Except you know... his excuse is that his girlfriend is home. Which is to say he apparently devotes himself to her every second that she is home... which is kind of... not what I expected of him. So whatever. I'm sorry to have lost him so completely to that woman.

However, it's things like that which make me really THINK. I was really thrilled when I got to finally be with Martin. Not because he was sooooooooo amazing (he was pretty good, though) but rather because it was something I wanted for YEARS. To finally get to experience that was... well.. it was really exciting and special.

And then I was thinking how nice it would be to be able to experience that feeling for the rest of my life. I'm not really sure that's possible. But it's a lovely fantasy. I think of Keith and I wonder... and Sam, too. Nils, maybe. Three wonderfully sexy men any of which I would be damned lucky to even get to spend one night with (or in Keith's case... yet another)... each is a fantasy which is begging to be fulfilled. The gratification from that... amazing....


Anyway. I was just thinking. Now I have to go to work.