Mmm.

Keith was online this morning. We chatted for almost an hour. It was nice. It's always nice. The talk turns less to sex these days. Since I'm not getting any and he is....

So I spent the rest of the morning thinking about Nils. To quote a song (sorta): "cuz he's here and he's real." Of course, how "real" he is has yet to be determined. Whatever the case, I'm vaguely obsessed today. Not in a bad way. Probably I wouldn't die of sadness if I didn't get to see him today... but he sure brightens up my day when I do see him.

Keith tells me I should tell Nils TODAY how very much I crave him. I think... I dunno. If it happens it'll happen. If not... it doesn't. The thing is I don't want Nils' coworkers to be any the wiser if I DO ever get to hook up with him. I don't want my reputation (whatever it may be) to be connected with him at work. He deserves his privacy and the fact that so many of the cops know about my personal ad tells me I need to be really careful with Nils if he DOESN'T know.

Although I'm tempted to ask MP to tell him about the ad if he doesn't already know. Just to see what happens....

On a side note... knowing Nils real first name makes masturbating about him much more pleasant. While during sex I am generally pretty quiet when it comes to masturbating I talk to my imaginary lover almost non-stop. Being able to say his first name as I do so... way more real....