More Dream Thought and Even more Beyond That.

I'm pretty sure my nightmare had more to do with the guy at work who pissed me off than the man that molested me. I think I'm angry and bitter and tired of all this. When I called my husband from work to complain I told him "you know I'm tired of being THAT girl. I've been that girl all my life and I HATE it." Except it's not something I have control over, unfortunately. Being a woman, a relatively pretty woman I'm unfortunately put in this position more often than I like. And it makes me angry. Very very angry.

I can only assume the dream has something to do with the fact that while I wish to preserve the peace I'm doing so at my own expense and unfortunately, that's not something anyone else can take care of for me, much as I wish that weren't the case.

So what I'm going to do, I don't know. But I'm angry and bitter. And trying very hard to remain professional. Next week, though, I'll be back at "my" store and I won't have to deal with the problem for at least another week.

On a REALLY positive note, I heard from DJ again. It's been a long-ass time since I've seen him. For several reasons. And going back and re-reading that post I once again have to ask myself "why?!?" Of course, I've considered the "whys" of it a few times but you know... What ever. Re-reading that blog entry... the question is more "why NOT?!" Heh. I could go see him as early as tomorrow. However, I may not because the stress I'm feeling from work is absolutely quashing my sex drive. Obviously, the dream did nothing to help me feel good about anything sexual right now, too.

But... if not tomorrow... soon. Because I have to know if that was a one hit wonder or....

Also, husband and I have idly been considering a real vacation. I want to go somewhere tropical, although we might end up just heading back to the nearby resort town for a week in the summer which is plenty vacation-y for me. I looked at trips to various locations including Hawaii and I discovered I suddenly have this incredibly strong aversion to going to Hawaii with husband. It's become Keith's place, somehow. I'll probably have to get over that eventually. However, I suspect if ever I go back there Keith will be there in my heart....