Moody.

I woke up first thing with a headache. So of course I went back to sleep. I woke up again and felt WAY better. Thank god. Although I got up for about an hour and told husband that I was definately going to need a nap if I was going to stay up for UFC tonight. "Me, too" he said. He was quiet a moment and said, "Well... I'm going to bed. You can come, too, if you'd like." So I ate a small snack because I was really hungry and went to bed with him. To sleep, of course.

That's where he remains. Meanwhile... I have a minor headache again. Nothing too bothersome, really. It'll go away, I'm sure. But vaguely annoying.

Spencer and I were supposed to get together this weekend. Today, actually. We talked about it a little but made no firm plans. Last night he wasn't online to make those more firm plans with. So I sent him a text message. And got nothing back. He's still not online today. So... what... he's dead now? Well, maybe he's dead to me anyway. There is NOTHING I find less forgivable than someone who stands me up. It's not often I make plans... but you may have noticed that in fact I HAVE been allowing myself to become rather busy with the gym and other concerns of late. Therefore, now more than ever if I make the decision to clear my schedule for you... well... it's really extremely irritating for you to NOT take advantage of it.

So, yeah. I'm irritated. But then I always knew there was a curse to the ol' blog. That's what I get for writing about him with hope in my voice and giving him a nickname. I should have known better. But god damn am I irritated.

Can I be UN-irritated about it? Yes. Of course. But for right now? Much irritation.

EB was online last night and I talked to him for about two minutes. Apparently he was busy and important. Fine. I didn't want to see him anyway. But... you know... umm... maybe a little. He could have at least... I dunno. I guess I feel a little weird about my desire for him, again. It's like as a friends with benefits couple we're awesome. It's just... I'm not really sure how to BE in that situation even though it's pretty exactly what I want. But see, mostly I don't worry about it or get hurt feelings about anything when it comes to him. So maybe I do better in that situation than I give myself credit for.

Anyway. I was thinking about going to the gym but would have prefered to do that before noon, if I was going. At this point I kind of feel it'd just be too busy for my tastes.


At least UFC's on tonight.