Bitch bitch...

There's another "cop" (a slightly more specialized version) who I think might be digging me quite a lot. Which is funny because I totally don't dig him at all. I'm not really sure what to make of him, either. Because he really LOOKS at me like a lot of people DON'T.

Also there's another cop who looks ever so vaguely like my "favorite" male porn store (except WAY cuter and less duck-like) who comes in all the time. And I can't help but assume dude's gay. Because he's cute as hell but was hanging out with a really painfully obviously (once you think about it) gay cop and that's when he started flaming. And I find it really disappointing. Except it's okay because it just kind of keeps me from wasting my time wanting to fuck him.

Meanwhile, there's a big deal going on here today which is going to result in much irritation for me if I don't leave for work extra early. So I'm going to have a to bring a book and sit there for a while and try not to be pissed off about that particular big deal disrupting my day. Or maybe it won't be that big of a deal... except the very fact that I will be going to work early so I can read is going to piss me off. Maybe I'll sit in the car. For an hour....

Also, I keep getting minor headaches in the morning. I think I've been drinking too much caffeine. Something about Coke Zero does that to me... but it's my drink of choice when I'm tired. Wakes me right up and keeps me up for hours.

Last night after I worked out I sat down and was just plain horny. This isn't an abnormal state for me to be in, of course. However, it was more pressing, somehow. And more mental and physical. I didn't feel the overwhelming desire to masturbate so much as I just wanted to share my desire with someone. Of course Keith became the target of my lust. He often is.

I sent him a short email at work detailing some of what I wanted from him. Then I wrote another scenario and sent that to his home e-mail address. And followed those two up with the posting I put up here. Each posting was a different scene. Each went a little further than the last. Each was a fantasy I was having at the time. It was a delicious thing to get to do. Something I haven't done in years, maybe. Really sit down and type out my fantasies. Usually I write story form... this is what happens... this is how it feels... but seeing as these things were ABOUT someone... well... it's a little harder.

Something else that just struck me. I think Keith is by far the sexiest man I know. Nils gets my hormones raging, Sam makes me all googly eyed. Keith does both. I've shared with him far more than I usually do... with anyone. He knows so many of my desires.. my likes and dislikes... things most people never have the opportunity to know about. I've told him what it is that he does which is particularly arousing. And it struck me then. He's going to be able to use that knowledge on OTHER WOMEN. What. The. Fuck. That's just not right. Never mind that I've already taken some of the stuff I learned from him and passed it on... it's very galling to realize what I want is RIGHT THERE and someone else gets it. FUCKING HELL.

Ahem.

Last night I went out and ran with the fat dog. He's only capable of about the same amount of exercise I am at this point. I've been pretty true to the elliptical and I'm thrilled to discover it's done a very good job of getting me in better running condition than I've been in years. Which isn't saying much, really. However, it's nice to have quietly and unexpectedly built up my endurance to a point where I surprised myself. And I remember back a couple of years ago... and I think of how really sexy and sexual I felt... and I think... yeah... I want that again....