Yeah, that has nothing do with anything.
When I got up I got all ready for work... and then Keith came online. His timing was all but impeccable. In fact when he came online I was standing up in the bathroom staring at my reflection in the mirror silently asking myself what the hell I'm doing with him, with my husband... with any of the guys. I don't have a good answer. "Being selfish" came to mind. But of course we have only one life to live... why not be a little selfish? But you know... not at the expense of those we love. Oh, I don't know.
I headed to work as he got called about something work related, too. When military people get called unexpectedly for work I get a little concerned. Especially HIM. But apparently it was all okay. I was having visions of what it would be like for him to get that kind of call in the middle of sex. Oh how mad would I be? And how impatient for his return....
Meanwhile, at work I took my lunch. I try to take it early enough that Nils won't come in while I'm in the back. Today I apparently failed in that. However, I was taking my afternoon constitutional (my name for the walk around the building I do after I finish eating so I get some light and stretch my legs before I'm locked inside for the rest of the day). While there I saw him walking from the parking lot toward the store. It just so happened my walking (which I tried NOT to change the pace of even though I saw him) was timed perfectly to intersect with his. So we walked to the store together.
Nils talks. A lot. I didn't notice it before and I'm not sure it's because he's a big talker. I'm actually starting to wonder if I make him nervous. If he feels the need to fill the space with talk. He did say something about how I'm his "friend," though which I like. I seriously barely got a word in edge wise except to mock him about being a "cop." I laughed at him and told him "you're not even a REAL cop!" and he went on to try to defend that he IS because they go through the same training that all the federal agents go through and blah blah blah. I laughed at him. "You can't even give a SPEEDING ticket!" He claimed he could and I argued. Because I know better. And he conceded.
Once inside he began talking to my coworker the way he does... going on and on about how BAD I am and how I said he wasn't a REAL cop and wouldn't it surprise me to know he'd actually made an ARREST (which sounded like he'd done that all of ONCE) to which I responded "yes, that would surprise me!" HA! My coworker (whom I really don't LIKE and who doesn't like ME) started jumping on me a bit (and I really think she meant it whereas he was teasing). So when he left I chased him out of the building and told him he shouldn't talk like that because she BELIEVES him and he said "I KNOW!" and continued on. I turned back around with a "see you tomorrow!". Fucker.
I was amused but I remain somewhat confused by his behavior. On the other hand, it's that serious kind of teasing that I adore about him. Because that's how I see myself and I like it. Except I think he's better at it than I am.
Later on, Sam came in. Just as I was giving up all hope that he would. I was cleaning and he commented on what I was doing asking some inane question which I answered. Afterward I wandered back to doing something else and let him get his coffee and do whatever it is he DOES. Of course he headed over to the magazines but I let him have a minute or two before I started talking to him. At which point a million billion people came in. He got in line and paid for his stuff and I could see he was ready to leave so even though I was trying to be attentive to my customers I started talking to him over the top of them.
So he stayed and wandered back to the magazines. In fact I thought he'd left by the time I finished the long ass line but he was squatting down, well hidden looking at some magazine. But after everyone had left he stood up and I tried to get something done. And gave up because I couldn't even READ at that point, which is what I needed to do.
Anyway, we got into a conversation and I found out that the person he lives with IS a female. And I'm still not sure exactly what his relationship to her is. However, I'm willing to bet either it's his girlfriend or she wants to BE his girlfriend... because dude is fucking HOT. God knows *I* want to be his girlfriend. Anyway, I'm reasonably sure.
Also, he's given me PLENTY of openings to suggest outings with him. And I'm thinking I'm going to have to take him up on that and suggest something. Unfortunately, I need to first figure out what it is he likes to DO. Which means... ah yes... more conversation.... Woe is me, eh?
Anyway. I asked him what he did with his weekend and apparently he rented a couple of movies I'd never heard of (apparently he hadn't either). He asked me what I did and I said something like "well... I did something... but I'm not going to talk about it!" Which was stupid as hell. But I was thinking about admitting I'd gone on a date (not so much that I'd fucked some guy) but chickened out because I wasn't sure I wanted to open that can of worms. So we talked a little more and he finished his coffee and asked if I was going to tell him what I did this weekend. I declined. So he told me, "alright, well I guess I'll head to the gym," he stared at me for a long moment and said "wow, you're staring to blush. Musta been interesting." Or something like that and left.
And boy oh boy was I red.
Never mind that I got exactly what I wanted at least momentarily in there... not only did he stay to talk to me he also... yeah.. that's right... looked at my tits. It's the little things, right? But I saw it as I was leaning against (and over) the counter talking to him. Even as I was totally checking him out and hoping against hope he didn't notice... but not really caring if he did....
He told me he might be back tomorrow and I told him he's not allowed to tell me he's coming back... and then NOT be there because it just makes me mad. Which might have been TMI but... fuck it. I want him. So I can't just SAY it... I can make it plain anyway...
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