Troy.

The problem with the new guy that I'm starting to see (among other things) is that at no time has his name really LINKED to anything for me. Each of the other guys I've written about (save Nils) has had some kind of link between their given name and the name I've given them. In most of the cases it's a link that only *I* would make. No one would EVER think of the name "Sam" when looking at Sam nor would anyone even intimately knowledgable about Keith EVER suspect Keith would be his nickname from me. I'm not stupid afterall. But the names make sense to me. For Nils, well, I had no freakin' clue what his name was so I just made something up that seemed exotic.

For the new guy, though... one name comes to mind but it's SO obvious that ANYONE would guess it. So he's going to be Troy. Because, I say so.

So, Troy apparently went to the store looking for me today. Except of course, I wasn't THERE. Because I told him I WOULD be... but got a call early in the morning telling me I was needed at a different time and place than I'd told him. I felt horrible about it. He was not pleased, although not angry. I'd really been looking forward to seeing him again, too.

We ended up talking online for a while and I'm just not sure he and I are going to manage to hook up quite the way we were hoping. Given the amount of difficulty in finding a reasonable place for us to get together I suggested perhaps he'd like to call the whole thing off. Or at least that particular part of it. He seemed shocked. "...could you?" he wanted to know. I thought about it and while it would be difficult, I'm positive I'd be fine. Leaving Troy behind wouldn't be half the challenge that I'm dealing with involving Keith. So could I? Oh, yes. Do I want to? I think not. But I'm also not going to suffer and whine for him.

On the other hand, I did have a good time and I don't mind so much the frustration I felt last night. It was fun. And I adore foreplay far more than most "actual" sex. Terribly selfish but utterly true. So I suggested that even if we couldn't get together to get the deed done this weekend, perhaps we could get together and just... do something. Especially if it ended up with him and I doing anything remotely so pleasurable as what we did last time.

He agreed and suggested a movie. But we've kind of nixed the idea and decided we might do something where we can actually sit around and talk. Specifically he said, "I'd rather sit around talking to you than watch a movie and not communicate at all."

Troy is a married man who's in a limited open marriage. They're only allowed to play while on extended business trips. I met Troy via one of the online dating sites. His profile was... not really what I had in mind for a guy I'd be willing to see. However, it was interesting enough that I had to assuage my curiosity and find out more about him. Essentially his profile is a story of a typical male, looking for no strings sex... one night stands... whatever. Not my type at all. But he also points out in the profile, that his profile isn't meant to be taken seriously.

The fact that he wants to spend that kind of time talking with me makes me kind of wonder what exactly he IS about. I'll happily conform to whatever he needs me to be, so long as it suits me. However, at this point I'm reasonably confused as to what exactly he's looking for. I think of myself as being the "girlfriend experience" type... but I wouldn't want to take it so far as to make him think I want to BE his girlfriend or that I'm taking this all terribly seriously. Because I flat out refuse. Dealing with my emotions about Keith is ENOUGH right now, thank you very much.

It's going to be an interesting couple of months while Troy is here, at least. Maybe we'll get frustrated and give up. But for now... it's got potential. And once I figure out where I belong in this scheme of things... it might just be a hell of a lot of fun.