My god.

I'm an avid fan of Dan Savage and have been reading his column since I was a teen. When I lived in Seattle he even had a sex advice radio show on a local independant station that ran from 10PM to 1AM Sunday nights called "Savage Love Live" and I'd stay up all night listening to it only to have to get up at four hours later to go to school. It was well worth it, let me tell you.

His most recent column includes a "web extra" full of letters from people responding to a previous column. I read one of the letters and... oh my god... it looks just like something I could have written. Almost to the letter. Except for the illness part... and the Canadian part... this could be me.

...When I bring up the subject of his continual rejection of me sexually, my husband insists he is attracted to me. He claims that his sexual orientation is straight and that his libido is “normal.” He tells me he masturbates “all the time.” Of course, I have wondered if my husband is simply lying to me. Perhaps he is only truly aroused by something that I am not and can never be: a man, a child, a wildebeest, or perhaps most painful of all, a different kind of woman. When my husband does make love to me though, he is generous, if not adventurous. His erection is strong and very long lasting. He achieves orgasm and seems to enjoy himself immensely. And then, it seems, he never needs to do THAT again! And if it weren’t for my threats and ultimatums, he probably never would. I love him and want to renounce sex for him, but can’t...

And

...Once, I decided to try not touching him for a whole day. It did not have the desired effect, so I experimented by not touching him the next day either.

After two months of not touching my husband, nor being touched by him, I asked him if he was aware that we had not touched, even a hand to a shoulder in passing, in over eight weeks. He hadn’t noticed....


My god.

I thought I was alone.