Music Magic

So I had a very busy day today and I'll have to write a very long post about all the boys I flirted with and all that happened. I might break it up into two entries. I should probably preface this whole thing by saying that I've given up on actually having the balls to tell any of the guys I want to fuck that I want to fuck them. At least, not right now. Instead I'm just enjoying the hell out of the flirtation.

The day started with me running into Keith online. We didn't talk too long but he was, of course, my first thought upon waking and it was a wonderful surprise to get to chat him up for a while. He went to bed early enough that I didn't have to rush around getting ready for work the way I have been lately. It was a nice morning.

My coworker left and shortly after that I changed the music from her 50's bopping music to something faster and more modern. I was super quick to change the music thinking "oh, god, Nils is coming... he's going to be here soon and I CAN'T let him think I listen to THIS." Because that's what matters, right? Right. So I put on my CD and the first song, Seek and Destroy, was playing when he came in. Perfect timing. He came up to me after a few minutes and asked "...you listen to Metallica?" I nodded, "...yeah... is that okay?" He kind of shrugged so I added, "should I NOT?" He didn't really have anything to say other than "... I don't know." I don't know what the fuck that means. So we talked a little. Not enough. But it was pleasant. And then he left. See. Music matters.

Later in the evening another guy came up to me and commented on the Red Hot Chili Peppers song I was playing. And winked at me that he liked my music. That's right, I got a WINK, baby. From a cute guy. Whom I thought was scoping me out a little. And confirmed it with the wink. Yeah, baby. I got a wink. Music MATTERS.

It was getting late and I was all but sure that Sam wasn't coming in. However, I thought "I gotta listen to this song..." because it's kind of appropriate. So I turned on the song "Crush" by Jennifer Page and since I was along started singing along... and who walks in but Sam. "Ha! Caught you singing!" he said. And I laughed embarrassed. And gazed at him entering the store. The guy is so fucking cute! I wanted to watch him. Just stare. Sometimes I think about doing it. But then I don't. So the song was playing and I'm thinking "this song is SO about you, Sam" and wouldn't you know the next song is Dixie Chicks "Cowboy Take Me Away" which wasn't intentional! With his sexy southern drawl... well... he can take me away if he wants but he doesn't need to know that!

So he wandered around and I got some little bit of work done while he went to the magazine section (near the counter... easy to have a conversation from there). And then he came to the counter and I rang him up. "Didn't find a magazine today?" I asked. Then considered for a second and added "not that you've ever bought a magazine here." And then considered another moment "not that I really remember..." trying to sound nonchalant. "I don't really buy magazines," he agreed, "I pretty much have subscriptions to the ones I read."

I nodded, sagely. Then asked "so... what do you read?" wondering if maybe... just maybe he reads Men's Health.... He paused for a second then started his list, "Maxim, Playboy, Men's Health..." I think he stopped then. Who knows? He covered the important things.

"Maxim, eh? You know... I was really disappointed in that one." He gave me a slightly quizzical look. "Well, I don't know if you remember it... maybe you do... when it first came out... it was supposed to be this GREAT, sexy magazine... and I finally got my hands on one and it was..." He stepped in then, " yeah, it's just a normal magazine." "Exactly." "I got mine as a gift, the subscription." Now I SHOULD have asked WHO gave him the gift but NOOOO... instead I say "This guy had a pile of them and I was just SO disappointed!" And then I was quiet a moment. "Of course, I suppose if I were really looking for that sort of thing, that's what the internet is for." The entire time I'm talking to him he has his super sexy half smile on his face that he does... looking bemused at me... maybe....

Then I laughed slightly, "I'm not sure about say... Stuff..." He nodded, "I think Stuff is the same family... FHM... Maxim... all those." Of course, I knew that but we're having a conversation, right? "Yeah, but they're wrapped in plastic so I can't TELL. I'll have to buy one to see." He smiled again, "no, if you want to NOT be disappointed you could always try Hustler." I laughed and he responded, "It's a bit different a little more-" "I've seen hustler," I interrupted, "but you know, we don't SELL that... and the one nice thing about working here is that if I WANT any of the magazines we sell... I can just wait until everyone's gone and ring myself up for them and no one else need ever know." And then I stared at him in minor horror that I just can't keep my fucking mouth shut and said "ah, and now you know WAY more about me than you needed to!" He smiled, "no, it's not too much information." I shook my head and covered my face really truly embarrassed and said "no, it really is." "No, it's not" he responded. And I laughed, surely red, and said "okay, I'll try really hard not to be embarrassed." Except I was. A little. We stared at each other for a long moment and he said "well, I guess I should get while the getting is good." And I nodded, semi-mute. "Have a good night," I responded and he left.

And I'm thinking... you know... maybe he's a dirtier boy than I thought he was... and maybe... just maybe... he's the one I should be setting my sights on instead of Nils.

Except... you know... I can't help my reaction to Nils. On the other hand, I'm developing that reaction to Sam BIG time. Because he really is so totally my type. I just thought he was WAY out of my league. WAY. Beyond way. Except... maybe he's not. Maybe my wanting someone doesn't automatically mean they're too good for me....

Anyway, who says I can't have both?