Oh Misery...

So it's that time of the month again. And really it couldn't have fallen at a better time. I get three days off to wallow in my misery and not have to worry about all those obnoxious things a girl has to worry about with her period while at work AND I can lay down and moan pathetically at need without people starting at me. Martin's family is in town so I had no plans with him, either. And of course it makes me feel vindicated in not even attempting to make plans with Sam (which certainly implies what I feel we'd be doing... because I'm that easy).

It also means I'm not pregnant. Which is always a good thing. It's the only reason I don't get more bitter about having it.

I spent the better part of last night looking for a good photo of a guy who looks like Sam. Unfortunately, the internet mocks me. It's WAY easier to find photos of hot women than it is of men. So I searched and searched and the best I could find was Ben Cohen. Now Ben has a body very similar to what I've seen of Sam's. And I imagine their body hair is quite similar (which I find delicious). Similar coloring, too. Their looks aren't completely different, however while Ben is apparently known for being hot, Sam is actually better looking. By a lot. So in fact this photo really looks very little like Sam. However... it's quite lovely to look at so I thought I'd share.

So anyway. Now, I'm envisioning Sam in his underwear (or pants as the English like to say since Ben is in fact English). I just have to squint my eyes a bit at the pic and... oh... there's Sam.

Maybe eventually I'll find a good substitute for Nils. But in my search for my pretend Sam I didn't come across anyone for Nils which is disappointing. I did run across a version of Keith but in fact Keith, too, is better looking. And since I have ACTUAL photos of him it seemed silly to save (or even remember) where the pretend version was.

Which reminds me. It's been almost exactly a month since I last saw Keith. I've got to get over this guy. Dammit. I've already forgotten much of what made the sex good. If I go back and re-read the posts from our nights together or talk to him about it too much I start to remember all the stunning details... and I get frustrated and horny. However, that's slowly starting to happen less often now. Which is probably for the best. My next lover or two will likely not be so skilled or share as much chemistry so I might as well let myself forget the magic from those nights.

*sigh* But maybe Sam...