I'm retarded.

I know this. I accept this. But god damn. Nils came in. And I thought "I gotta fuck this guy." Except I could only think it because my coworker was hanging around and he didn't stick around long enough for her to leave. He did tell us (me?) that he'd be gone until Tuesday because he gets FOUR days off. Luckily, I get three so I'm not going to cry too much. He mocked me about the joke I told him the other day. He mocks me merciliously about it.

So, I told him another one. "What's brown and sticky?" He gazed at me for a long moment "I don't think I want to know if it's gross." Which is pretty much the same reaction I had the first time I heard that joke. The moment of pause EVERYONE has when they first hear the joke. "A stick," I replied. And then I giggled because it's probably my favorite joke ever. "What KIND of stick?" he asked. I stared at him. Of course he was missing the point. He left shortly after as I giggled about my joke some more and my coworker mocked me for my pirate joke from the other day.

After he left I looked down at the counter to discover he'd left behind the key to the company car. I picked it up and gazed at it thoughtfully. "Should I chase him down?" I asked my coworker. "Naw" she said. Within a minute he was back for it. "Did I leave a key here?" he asked. I was holding the key up in front of me as he asked. "No," I said, still holding the key out. He glanced at it and took it from me. "Thanks!" and left. Looking back... I SHOULD have chased after him. It would have been another of my (many) chances to tell him that I want him....

No one else really "good" came in the rest of the night. I was praying for Sam to make an appearance but he didn't. I'm not sure if I scared him away or what... but I keep hoping for his hotness to appear in the store again. Maybe next week. Hopefully I manage NOT to get my hopes up so completely next time.

Which reminds me. I was watching my Christmas porn (one of my gifts from husband) and one of the actors got naked and I thought "my god... I bet that's EXACTLY what Sam looks like naked!" For some reason I can't quite picture Nils naked. The bulletproof vest and uniform mock my attempts to envision what, exactly, is underneath....