The storm

He has a view across the valley from his apartment. The sunsets are stunning, sometimes. Tonight we saw the flashes of lightening to the South so I stepped out onto the deck to watch the show. The storm made it's gradual trek North, the light misty rain hitting parts of my skin now and again. We watched as the storm drew closer. The rain changing from the mist to a violent downpour, lightening strikes going from distant flashes on the horizon to visible bolts to blinding flashes followed quickly by thunder loud enough to make me jump.

"This is the best storm I've ever witnessed" I said, excitedly.

"Shall we see how much better we can make it? If I can make you cum with the thunder and lightning?" He asked, knowing there was no need for me to answer.

His fingers found their way under my dress, moving between my thighs. I spread my legs so he had better access and he took full advantage. I felt his finger tips against my clitoris and inhaled sharply, my body responding quickly to his touch, as usual.

I struggled to keep my eyes open and focused enough to take in the show in front of me, even as I felt the little shocks of pleasure he was creating in my body. It didn't take long before the first orgasm hit me, I bit my lip, my moan barely more than a breath.

He continued playing with my clit bringing me to orgasm after orgasm, each one building on the last until I forgot myself. The storm occasionally reminding me of its presence by the rumbling I could feel and the flashes I could see behind my closed eyelids.

He  pushed fingers deep inside me. The change have me a moment of clarity that we were there, on the balcony in what was occasionally full light and that maybe someone might suspect what we were doing. Even more obviously, I realized, I had grown much louder as the orgasms became stronger. Even if no one looked, anyone could hear me wordlessly, but not silently, expressing my pleasure.

However, the welcome assault on my clit quickly resumed and I forgot everything again, lost in the fury of the storm around us and the intensity of the pleasure he was giving me.

While my clitoris eventually gave out, becoming too sensitive to touch, the storm continued for several hours. I don't doubt it is the most spectacular storm I will ever experience and I'm grateful to him for sharing it with me.

I still love him

I don't feel as introspective as I once did.  Sometimes I just don't want to think about things that much. Sometimes I want to live in the moment. And sometimes I just can't bring myself to sit down and type. It's kind of amazing how much typing I used to do and how much I avoid it now.

My boy broke up with me a few months ago. He told me he didn't see marriage in our future, which is, of course what he wants. I was more than willing to give up everything for him. But he decided he didn't want it.

It didn't take long before I was back in his bed. This isn't the first time we've broken up, of course. Or even the most painful break up. And it won't be our last. We're not "together" anymore. But, honestly, I couldn't feel closer to him than  I do now. When he let me go, I was finally able to "let go" too. I didn't need to hold back or pretend to be someone I'm not. I can be wholly honest about how I feel and who I am and if he doesn't like it, tough luck.. There's not so much on the line anymore.

The biggest problem is that the sex is FANTASTIC, even to this day, a year and a half after we first met. I thought the best I could manage would be a few months before I got bored. Somehow I've never been in a sexual relationship that didn't get boring after 3 months. This one shows no sign of stopping.

Now, it helps that my boy is a kinky bastard who has taken great pleasure in sharing his kinks with me and letting us both try them out together. Things I never imagined I would enjoy.  The most recent being strangling.  Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

There's something about being strangled and waking up in the middle of a hard fucking that is unbelievably hot. I've never experienced anything like it in my life, before this. And in that moment I'm out, I have the quickest dreams. Today, I dreamt he told me he still loved me. And as I woke up with him inside me, bringing me some of the most intense pleasure I have ever felt, I couldn't help but convince myself it was true.

I still love him. But he doesn't still love me, if he ever did.