Thursday, June 30, 2005

A matter of taste...

I, for one, NEVER thought Tom Cruise was hot.

I was really disappointed about Mel Gibson, though.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Mark Two

I continued to see Mark for a few months. As I got to know him better he expressed an interest in some mild bondage sm stuff. Since I (like many) have a certain amount of curiosity about the matter he seemed a reasonable person to test it out with. We never got very far, though.

I was his willing subject. Anything he wanted from me, I was happy to give him. It pleased me to be naked next to his complete state of dress. He told me what he wanted me to wear... and asked for permission to film me sucking his cock which I agreed to.

He lay me out on the bed before him, spread wide and touched me all over. "My wife would never let me do this" he said, as his eyes and fingers traced ever fold of my pussy. It was freeing and gratifying to be studied and touched by someone that way. He made me feel sexy and special.

One day he came to spend time with me despite the debilitating quality of some medication he was taking for pain. We spent an hour in bed, touching and talking, and just being together before he got up to leave. He went to the bathroom to take care of some business and as he finished, I dried him off and managed to suck him to orgasm despite his insistence that it was not possible.

We only had intercourse one time. I knew better than to ask it of him, as he thought himself the one in control of the relationship and it worked well not to tell him otherwise. I craved the feeling of his hugeness inside me but despite having already been with a number of guys I was actually afraid that it might hurt. Finally, he came to me one day and told me that today would be the day.

There was much foreplay and some nervousness from my side. But finally he was inside me and it was incredible. We moved around through a few positions and he forced me to stay completely still. I craved feeling him all the way inside me, to feel the hard punishing thrusts of him... but he held back stroking slowly and gently admonishing me when I moved.

He finally came, without me. It was terribly disappointing to have missed the chance of cumming with him inside me but so wonderful to at least feel that closeness.

I fantasized about him for years after that, about his size, his desire to control me.... and I still wonder what more would have happened if husband hadn't come back two months early and complicated things.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Mark One

There was this guy. He was maybe the third guy I slept with in the year 2001. My husband was gone to Korea which left me alone in the house. We'd already decided to try our hands at open marriage and I felt pretty successful... yet completely not. Both of the men I slept with turned out to be less than pleasing for various reasons. I was trying very hard to "whore it up" looking for SOMEONE with whom I might click.

I even invited one guy to the house and then sent him away unfucked because he just wasn't good enough in person. He was the guy who finally moved to kiss me, stuck his tongue in my mouth and just... left it there. Umm. I attempted to make something of it, moving my tongue around his, sucking at his tongue... anything... but he stayed completely still. Finally, I broke it off, completely disgusted. He looked at me quizzically and asked "don't you like to kiss?" Uh... YEAH... with someone who knows more than "stick tongue in mouth," idiot. I shrugged, though, and said "guess not." It wasn't long after that that I sent him home.

A week or two later I met Mark online. He and I clicked mentally but he had no picture of himself. It made me hesitant but I sent him mine and he was interested in me. He turned out to be married, which brought me only the briefest of hesitation. She was out of town. I invited him over as it was his last chance while she was gone. He agreed, but later called me to beg off with some excuse which I forget. I was irritated as I'd been expecting him (and there are few things worse than being stood up for sex) but accepted his decision. A couple of weeks of continued flirting and interest, I invited him over again. His wife was home, but I still didn't care. This time he showed up.

When he arrived he turned out to be an attractive guy maybe 7 or 8 years my senior. Average height, pale hair. What I remember most was how very slight he was. My tastes had never run toward men of his build but I was open to new experiences. Overall, he looked a lot like SNL cast member Seth Meyers.

We stayed downstairs for almost an hour chit-chatting before he finally decided he'd had enough of the talk and kissed me. His kiss was more teasing and gentle, fluttering over my lips, gentle kisses which were hot... and utterly unsatisfying. I like more contact. But I had no room to complain as they served to leave me wanting more of him. I moaned into his mouth inadvertently and he drew back to tell me he liked that reaction. It wasn't long before we were in bed.

We played a bit that afternoon. After I got him naked I was utterly shocked, surprised, and delighted at how very generous genetics had been to him. Having already slept with 5 or 6 men, he was by far the most endowed. Truly, his size was incongruous to his build. I remember sometime after I'd brought him to orgasm, gazing at his cock and saying something like "my god... does it ever get soft? It's huuuge" to which he responded "it IS soft." I argued with him but he remained adamant and later escapades proved him right.

Friday, June 24, 2005

You decide.

Husband's favorite band of all time is Queen. His favorite artists are Neil Diamond, Elton John, and Gloria Estefan. He also heartily enjoys ABBA.

You be the judge. I'm just saying.

Thursday, June 23, 2005


What is it about the first shot (or two) which seems to go directly to my genitals?

Because, seriously. I'm feeling it. RIGHT THERE. And it's way too yummy a sensation to come from some drink.

A few minutes.

I looked at the clock and thought "well, gosh... I have a few minutes" and decided to cum. It's very annoying that those type of orgasms are not nearly as good as those which are preceeded by the thought "fuck, I gotta cum." Not that they aren't good. They're just not AS good.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005


I'm seriously considering buying some for Husband. Mostly out of curiosity. And of course because Husband tells me (everytime I mention anything about it) that he will happily eat anything I tell him to (within reason) to increase his chances of getting a blow job. I figure this would be an option.

However, other than their website (which I admit has a lot of references to media reviews) I'm having trouble finding "real life" reviews of the product. Anyone know anything?

(Update: please see my own review of the product here.)

Tuesday, June 21, 2005


I used Husband's hand to play with my nipple. I rubbed his fingers over it, letting his fingers trail an outline of my breast before returning them to my nipple, again... drawing increasingly erratic breathing from me.

"It's like you're masturbating with my hand," he said, "like it's... someone else's." I knew what he meant. That was the whole POINT.

But he was tired. And I remain at a loss as to an acceptable alternative birth control. So we stopped.

Maybe tomorrow....

Monday, June 20, 2005


One of the sexiest most deliciously sensual feelings I've enjoyed with a lover is the initial feeling of having them spread my pussy lips to ease entrance inside. It makes me squirm with excitement as I gaze at them, their eyes glued below. I adore the feeling of the cool air on my hot, wet insides and the knowledge that they are gazing upon and lusting after my most intimate parts.

Tonight, husband spread me open just a bit to slip the head of his cock inside. It was delicious.

Saturday, June 18, 2005


I like mine today. I like the way they fill out my shirt. And I love my piercings.

Breasts. They totally rock.

Dreaming Again

Last night I had a dream that I was at this strange place which was a mix of where I work, some entertainment/hollywood style business, and my home. There were two showers, one of which was upstairs but really small and another which was in the back of one of the tractor-trailers which was semi-public but huge. I was going for my shower in the trailer when I met up with one of the hollywood types.

A rather attractive black man approached me. I knew him to be married but there was certainly some attraction between us. I made it my mission to try to attract him into the shower with me because that sounded fucking hot. We got to kissing, necking, and heavy petting. However, before things could progress a woman came in and was watching us and started talking to the man. We tried to look innocent but it was clear she knew what was going on and was trying to prevent it.

Eventually, I left them to take the shower. By then more people had come out and there were several people watching me. Not wanting to be a complete dork, I let them do so and gradually they all left leaving me to bathe in peace.

The end.

The make out session was great. However, it's very clear to me that I have a fetish for men being behind me. I like the feeling of being kissed, touched, rubbed, and certainly fucked from behind. I like leaning back against a man's body... I like watching his hands moving over my flesh the way my own would.... When I fantasize about sex these days... it always involves someone behind me. I'm not sure what that's about. I have theories. It's hard to do anything but concentrate on pleasure when one's lover is behind them. Afterall, I don't have arms behind me..... Not to mention the faceless quality.....

Whatever the case... I clearly need to find me a man-whore.

Friday, June 17, 2005

A reserved nod...

I must give a reserved nod (which is to say a questioning acceptance) to the new Coca Cola Zero which tastes more like regular coke than diet. It's... different. I'm not convinced I'm going to like it forever... take for instance C2 which I adored when it first came out... until I could start TASTING the "other" flavor which was just nasty. This one has a faint flavor of diet... with an odd sweetness, too. So for now I accept it. But I'm perfectly willing to reverse that decision.

On to the good stuff. I flirted with Jones a little bit today. Not nearly as much as I'd have liked. The draw back being that I was reminded, again, that he thinks he's god's gift to women... which I do believe HE believes... and well... no one needs to be THAT cocky.

Husband's friend (I've forgotten his nickname again) and I have been trading e-mails. I suppose if anything interesting were to happen it would be tonight but since nothing interesting is going to happen between him and I tonight... well... c'est la vie, mon ami. Husband comes home in the wee hours of Sunday and I work late on Saturday so... yeah... this is my last party day. I'm making the best of it by drinking my Coca Cola Zero. Yippee! I ought to be having wild sex.

But if I'm honest... I haven't really, truly wanted to sleep around since the exceptionally unfortunate incident with Frank in the beginning of the year. I guess it just makes me more leary of new people. Even though Frank was not new people to me. That actually makes it worse. Dammit.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

I fully admit...

I fully admit that I'm horny.


A man describing himself as six feet of grade A meat STILL doesn't turn me on.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Thinking about School

This coming new year will mark the 10 year anniversary of my graduation. My husband didn't get to go to his reunion. I'm not sure I'll get to go to mine. I'm not sure I want to. But I'm tempted.

So I pulled out the old 1996 year book and looked up a few people. And I'm not 100% sure but I'm fairly sure I found a more current picture of my only real crush from that time (besides of course one of my teachers). And I'm like... weirded out. Because. You know. Just because. I mean, I saw the picture and thought "oh... my... god... that's HIM." Same career field I knew he was going into... but a different country, now, apparently... and he went from blonde to... dark haired. Which is kind of weird. But he still looks just like him. I pulled out the photo and I'm pretty sure....

Also, this really hot guy I went to school with whom I was SURE was joining the military went away to study the BIBLE in college and then became a fire fighter with a hot wife. And I'm like "woah" on that one, too. Not that I liked him. But it's just so weird.

This is why I think I'm NOT going back to the reunion. Because all this just boggles my mind.

Not that there's one planned yet. One thing my class never had was a sense of community.

Also, one of my "friends" from high school who was really a friend of a friend more than anything has photos from her wedding online. She just got married this year and she looks EXACTLY THE SAME. Of course, so do I....


I usually find it interesting to see what kind of search terms other sites get. Here are some of mine...

"my bladder is full" masturbate (Google)

"satisfaction from masturbation" (Google)

"watch husband" wife (Google)

"A taste of the good wife" (Google)

"best position for cumming" (Netscape)

"eric price" "charlie stone" (Google)

"finally had sex again" (Google)

"increasing nipple size" male (Google)

"the tip of my clit" (Google)

guys "increasing nipple size" (Google)

A Dream

Last night I had a dream that I had the choice of a bevy of male beauties on which to satisfy myself. Men of all different varieties were available (as in physique and looks... however looking back it's interesting that all of them were white). I'd been looking but decided not to actually DO anything about it. Another woman came along, a friend, and asked that I set her up for a super wild night of sex with one of them. She wanted something involving aphrodisiac and a lot of fucking.

The idea appealed and as I was researching this for her, I found myself liking the idea of getting me a little something, too. I ended up finding a lengthy recipe that would turn the women involved into voracious sexual animals. Inhibitions would be gone, orgasms would be multiple, and the men would leave worn out. Perfect. But knowing how tireless I often am when it comes to sex with a new partner, I figured I'd take the prescribed potions too... but in a smaller amount than recommended. Just enough to get me started.

I readied the ingredients and went off to pick the men. I found myself quickly joined by a muscular man. I couldn't see him, only feel the firmness that was his entire body pressed against my back. He could be ugly as hell or gorgeous, I wasn't sure. But his forwardness and the exciting feel of his hot partially naked (clad only in jeans) body excited me.

I kept him there, against me, and told him my plans. The idea of four of us getting together (really two couples... but the sex drugs might nix that separation)... but I didn't want to know what he looked like. I would meet with him at the doorway to the chosen location blindfolded and spend the entire night that way never knowing what he looked like.

I left him, then, still feeling the hot imprint of his body on my back and found another man for my friend. I informed him of her wishes and went off to get ready, dosing both the other woman and myself with the potions so they would have time to take effect. I went to my room and searched for condoms coming up with only one. Knowing the woman would take care of her own condom needs I tried to figure out how I was going to spend an entire night having sex... with only one condom... which for all I knew was the wrong size.

That's about the time I woke up. Because I almost NEVER have sex in dreams. No satiation for me.

Were the dream to continue, though...

I would go to the chosen location. Alone. The other couple could be inside... or not yet arrived. Whatever the case, I blindfold myself and await the man I have so blindly chosen. I lean against the wall... I can hear footsteps. My breathing increases... but they pass. Another set of footsteps follows closely. These stop near me. I turn my head in the direction where they last were. I feel breath against my face. "Follow me" he says, his voice husky and quiet. His fingers find my face, cupping my cheek before it slides down my neck, down my shoulder and arm, leaving a trail of warm shivers. Finally, he lifts my hand and places it on his forearm and escorts me inside. His forearm, too, is hot. I can feel the unlikely softness of his skin and the faint smell of his cologne. So male.

He opens the door to the atrium I have chosen. Indoor, and temperature controlled it seems perfect for the sport of animalistic fucking. I inhale the warm, humid, fertile scent and it sends my mind racing forward... him inside me.... oh....

He leads me inside, deeper into the large room. He stops and I stop, too. He leans down toward me his lips against my ear, his words barely more than a breath. "It looks like they beat us here... I can see them... do you want to know what they're doing?" I bite my lip and nod slowly, feeling somewhat ashamed for wanting to know... but also feeling the drugs beginning to work. "He's got his head buried between her legs now... she's laying back, legs wide open, her fingers buried in his hair pulling his face into her... she's cumming...."

I moan a little. "Please...."

He laughs softly, "maybe they'd like to watch us, too" and leads me on. I still can't hear them but we don't go too far before he stops again. I have no idea if we're still in view of the other couple or completely hidden. My mind is a jumble of what ifs as he stops again and steps away from me. I can hear him breathing and moving but I cannot tell what he's doing. Finally he touches me again. Without warning he draws my shirt up over my head leaving me in my bra and pants. He steps against me, his naked chest warm against me and then his lips are on my own.

A moment of hesistation and then I force the kiss deeper, drawing his tongue into my mouth, pushing mine into his. I'm ready to be done with the foreplay, ready to have him inside me RIGHT THIS INSTANT. I let my fingers find their way downward, over the hair on his chest following the trail down to his pants. Jeans. Oh, yes. I graze my finger over the zipper, feeling for the bulge. Hard, already, I trace the outline, tracing the curve of the head. It feels amazing, hard, otherwordly, and far too inaccessible.

His mouth stays on mine, his fingers removing my bra as I work on his pants needing him inside me.

...oops... I ran out of steam..... Maybe more later. Maybe.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Hair Thing

First off, husband is gone for the week. Second... I'm totally jealous.

Out of boredom I went to . It's a sauve versus the expensive brand "test" of three different types. Can you tell the difference between who used Suave and who used the more expensive brand? I could. All three times. The odd part... it comes back with "see? You really can't tell the difference." I guess they couldn't have really admitted anything else....

I have this hair obsession. Even though mine's rather pathetic. I think it has something to do with the amount of time I spend "reading" Glamour and Marie Claire. I've learned to be able to tell....


This is what happens when I'm all alone.

That and a lot of cleaning.

Friday, June 10, 2005


Husband is going on a week long vacation shortly. Starting Sunday. I'd have liked to go but my work isn't nearly as liberal with leave as his is. Of course he's already pointed out that he'll "likely be bored by the middle of the week" which is probably true... but at least he doesn't have to go to work. There's a purpose to his trip beyond "vacation" and in fact it'll likely feel not very much like a vacation at all. As far as I'm concerned he needs to make it very clear to those he's there to see that he's there for THEM and to help THEM and not to sit on his ass. Likely, he'll sit on his ass.

But anyway.

I get to have a WHOLE WEEK to myself. How excited am I? I mean, other than how much having sole care of the damned dogs is going to suck (in... out... pet... It'll be nice to be alone. It's times like these when I wish I still had a lover because then I know EXACTLY what I'd be doing over those 7 days. I've, in the past, set up one night stands for these weeks but I'm not sure I'm up for that. Lately I remain emotionally fragile. It so sucks.

Plus, the timing being what it is... I ought to be right in the middle of my period while he's gone. Yippppeeee!

Oh, A/Cs fixed. THANK GOD. Turns out the heat and PMS contributed to my piss poor attitude of late. I hope it's better today!

Thursday, June 09, 2005


Tuesday morning one of the work crew from the maintanence crews stopped my husband and I. "Hey, did you call in that your air conditioning is broken?" I thought for a half second and replied, chirpily "nope. It's not us!" then added "ours is working great!"

As I got into the car to drive away I watched them head to the same lettered (similarly numbered) house across the street and thought no more of it.

Wednesday morning I woke up hot and bitchy as hell. I walked downstairs to where my husband was playing on his computer and checked the temperature. Over 80. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I asked him and flipped the a/c lower. Except it was already running. Warm.

SON OF A BITCH. Our A/C went out. Now, riddle me this... what the fuck are the chances our A/C would go out within 24 hours of someone asking me if it was working? Consider that it has been running perfectly for 2 years. What. The. Fuck. Knowing that in the past it's been a problem with the pipes freezing up we left it off yesterday and suffered through the heat of the day as the thermostat inside passed 90.

It is now 5am. It is still 85 degrees in the house. There is no fucking frozen pipe anymore. I thawed rock hard meat on the counter in a matter of a couple of hours. There is no question NOTHING in this house is frozen anymore except that which is locked securely away in the freezer.

So we went to bed. I took a cold shower and we turned a fan on the bed. I crawled into the already too hot bed and we tried to sleep. "You didn't even TRY to kiss me" I told him, after a while. It's our night time ritual to always share a kiss and then go to sleep. So he coaxed me over and we made out like teenagers. "I DON'T want to have sex" I warned him as soon as we started, "it is WAY too hot." Which is about the time he started really wanting to play kissy face.

Fucking irritates the shit out of me that he won't fuck me but if there's no pressure he can do whatever the fuck he wants.

Of course, EVERYTHING fucking irritates me right now because it's hot and I become the fucking incredible hulk when I'm this hot and I can feel the sweat like little bugs crawling across my flesh. Not to mention the restive night I've spent tossing and turning and smacking the dog for licking wet spots in the bed randomly.

Here's to the maintanence crew being punctual tomorrow....

Thursday, June 02, 2005

This shhh's bananas! b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

Yeah, okay. So I don't care for the song but somehow it sticks in my head.

Anyway, Jones came into work today and I flirted with him just a touch. He flirted with me a bit ("need a seat?" gesturing to his lap... to which I responded "no... I'm afraid it might be uncomfortable... you know... pokey.") and I was like "you know I'd love to flirt with you but I get all weirded out when the kid is around" the kid being his nephew who really doesn't need to see his dirty uncle teasing the youngsters (that'd be me). He seemed to "get it" and let it be. But later I made some mildly dirty comment in front of one of the younger guys I work with (namely Jones bent down next to me to pick something up and I told him maybe he ought to stay down there for a bit) and he returned in kind ("is there something you'd like me to do while I'm down here?") at which point I acted dumb. He glanced at the guy and smiled at me knowingly and left it at that.

And then I worked until 2am.

The end.