Thursday, September 29, 2005

Last Night

I've clearly got PMS. Near as I can tell my horniness is now almost exclusively confined to that time of the month. I've gone so long burying my sexuality, again, that it's only when my hormones get out of control that I really, really want to fuck.

Last night I picked up a book by Emma Holly which was a LOT sexier than I expected. Exploring themes of bisexuality (mostly male), voyeurism, polyamory, ds, and sm. All this in what is coyly called a "romance novel." Ah, it's lovely and all the things I find sexy all rolled up into one. I'm terribly impressed by it and find it startlingly erotic. I came two or three times last night because of it. Desperate for release.

The first time I came, I was reminded how very PMSy I am when my orgasm was followed by a delightfully tingly afterglow... and then tears. Lots of tears. Not those kind I've had after a really good orgasm, caused by the pleasure but rather something strongly related to sadness.

I can't believe I don't have those sexy, exciting times with someone else who might actually ENJOY my desire for them.

But then while on vacation I refused husband sex twice. He hasn't asked since.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Title Here.

So, I had a really crap day today involving my dog eating some chocolate infused with espresso. I dosed him with something to make him puke and then sent him outside to do so. At which point I realised that instead of sending him just outside, I'd let him GO. So then I was forced to chase after him, which ended up not taking too long but it wasn't much fun. He never did puke, but he's not dead, either. So I guess he just really likes chocolate.

On the positive side, I bought a new camera. A lovely canon digital SLR which I can't stop playing with. Good times. However, I want a better lens than the one it comes with. I'm so picky. However, I'm still super excited to have it at all seeing as I've wanted one of the regular film type for about 5 years now. The digital is even more desirable, and I got it!

Not too much else going on, really.

This guy came in today and I couldn't figure out why he was so familiar to me. I looked at him and thought "huh, either he's not as good looking as I thought he was or I'm much pickier than I used to be." Finally, it occured to me that he wasn't memorable because I thought he was hot but because of his last name (which is a noun appropriate to our military) and because he has a big dick. Or likes roomy condoms. Whatever the case, it only struck me after he left and I thought it was pretty funny that I remembered something like that.

I haven't seen the super hot guy since my second day back... and that was only a glimpse. I miss him.

Also, the creepy guy came in at about the same time as my husband did. I tried to subtly motion to my husband that THIS was the creepy guy and to watch him please, which in husband-think meant "turn away and stare at a magazine cover until the guy leaves." *sigh*

Monday, September 19, 2005


Yes, I am back. Thanks for noticing.

There's this man who comes into my work. He's an older guy. Probably around 50 give or take. Heavy, grey hair, ponytail. He comes in and smiles. And kind of stares. From the very first time I met him he made me uncomfortable. It's NOT getting any better.

I think he thinks I should think he's special. Memorable. And most of all, attractive. Alas, while he is memorable I only think he's special in that creepy sort of way and least of all is he attractive.

After he left today, once again giving me the creeps my coworker stood near. I told her "he REALLY makes me uncomfortable." And she suprised me by agreeing whole heartedly. She and I agree on almost nothing. And it only heightens my feeling of discomfort that she, too, feels that "vibe" from him.

I wonder if he realises that he makes us uncomfortable. Maybe he thinks he tight, "I'm undressing you with my eyes" smile is supposed to be relaxing. But relaxing it is not.

And this is why I'm so careful of my attraction to the men around me. What if *I* come off that way?!?

And what the hell is wrong with that guy?!?

Sunday, September 04, 2005


Two week vacation starts today. We'll be spending the majority of it with husband's parents and then with my sister. Needless to say the likelihood of an update is EXTEREMLY thin.

Hope everyone has a good couple of weeks, I'll see you around the 18th!