I found myself oddly attracted to a place one of my fellow bloggers hang out. And then I thought about the (small but possible) chance of running into said blogger and (god forbid) recognizing this person. And then I thought perhaps it would be best if I perhaps made a choice NOT to visit that establishment until I can guarantee I'm mature enough not to act like a star struck loser. Props to said blogger for writing well enough for me to even have the chance of being star struck. No, I won't name names because I'm that kind of loser.
Meanwhile, my sex life remains barren. I could have had sex a couple of times today with husband. It's been almost a year, now. He's apparently ready for his yearly fucking. We talked about shaving and all that sort of thing. Thinking about what he can do to make me more likely to at least suck his cock. It's funny and sad.
We talked about age and sexuality and all of that and about the fact that we're different people than we were years and years ago. He thinks maybe he's bad in bed and I told him he's proven to be very good in bed, but he's annoyingly selfish about things when it comes to sex. Not always, mind you, but often. "It's called foreplay," I told him, "and if you want to have sex with women, you should probably accept it as part of your life." He went on to tell me about a woman who doesn't like foreplay (some else's wife, he said). "But you live in the real world where the vast majority of women demand it. And the chances of you having sex with a woman like that is slim."
I doubt he took any of it to heart.
Meanwhile, my sister informed me earlier that she was having a boy over for some sex. She likes her men younger and thin. Very much the opposite of me. I'm not terribly jealous of her man. Only that she has one coming over. Dammit. Someone ELSE in this house is getting laid and it isn't ME!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Sexless
I think it may have been a year since the last time I had sex. With anyone. While in some ways that seems like a very, very long time... in others it feels like time has barely passed. It's so weird.
Meanwhile, my masturbatory fun has not decreased. I finally couldn't deal with not even getting to masturbate since my husband is ALWAYS HOME and we're pretty much confined to one small room when we're here. So a few nights I waited until late when husband was asleep and found something amusing on the internet, bringing myself to orgasm not 2 feet away from him as he lay completely oblivious. The next night I did the same. The third night I informed him I was going to have an orgasm before I went to sleep and proceeded to masturbate in bed next to him. He rolled to face the opposite direction and pretend to sleep. When he thought I'd cum he turned over to look at me. I looked back at him and we stared at each other for a long moment before I said "I'm not done." "Oh, I thought you came," he said, turning back away. I finished up and turned off the light. Last night, I lay in bed while he was on the computer and quietly masturbated myself to yet another silent orgasm. I don't think he even noticed. Well, maybe but he never let on....
Meanwhile, my masturbatory fun has not decreased. I finally couldn't deal with not even getting to masturbate since my husband is ALWAYS HOME and we're pretty much confined to one small room when we're here. So a few nights I waited until late when husband was asleep and found something amusing on the internet, bringing myself to orgasm not 2 feet away from him as he lay completely oblivious. The next night I did the same. The third night I informed him I was going to have an orgasm before I went to sleep and proceeded to masturbate in bed next to him. He rolled to face the opposite direction and pretend to sleep. When he thought I'd cum he turned over to look at me. I looked back at him and we stared at each other for a long moment before I said "I'm not done." "Oh, I thought you came," he said, turning back away. I finished up and turned off the light. Last night, I lay in bed while he was on the computer and quietly masturbated myself to yet another silent orgasm. I don't think he even noticed. Well, maybe but he never let on....
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