Monday, September 29, 2008

Just a quick note

So since I last wrote husband has been to see his girlfriend a few more times. Things are still kind of weird but I don't find it infecting our daily life too much. It's funny, though, listening to him sounding a heck of a lot like I used to when I was seeing my lovers. "I'll stop if you want me to... nothing's worth upsetting you" etc etc etc.

We really haven't had sex since he got himself a girlfriend. In a sense that means he's being faithful to her. That does not please me. On the other hand I find myself remembering how very BORING sex was with husband once I'd had a taste of a new lover. Sex with him was a consolation prize (though I'm pretty sure I never made him feel that way) and I can only imagine he feels the same way about me. I told him the other day "I don't want to be your second choice." Nevermind how many times I'd have rather been fucking my lover than him. It's not so pretty being on the other side of that coin.

We took a week of vacation and he spent two nights of it with her. I actually dropped him off at her house. There was a potential for me to actually SEE her but I tried very hard not to. I don't really want to see or know. I drove off as soon as I was sure he was going to get inside. When he came back... it was back to life as usual. Except we were still on vacation.

Vacation. So lovely.

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