So Husband is the one with all the stories these days. I just sit back and listen. He had a hot date last night, with someone I think he's only talked to a few times. He dressed up just a little bit (in one of the nice shirts I picked out for him about a year ago) and we agreed he'd call me when he figured out what his plans were for the evening. He brought a toothbrush. He did call... and he didn't come home.
The next day, Husband came home and called me at work to let me know he was home. "Did you have fun?" I asked him. "I guess," he said, sounding down. "K. Thanks for letting me know, I'll call you later," I told him and promptly forgot. When I got home, I asked him about his evening.
"It was bad," he told me. I asked for more details. "She has some interesting friends," he said, "HOT, friends. But we went back to her place and... it was just bad." I asked for more details, again. "She's had kids. And... well... you know the phrase 'hot dog down a hallway'?" I nodded and smiled and immediately started doing Kegels.
"Did you get off?" I asked. "Yeah, eventually I got myself off." I followed with, "did she get off?" "Oh, yeah." Then he added, "she just laid there. I mean, not the whole time. But she didn't move." "Mmm," I said, sympathetically. "And she talked. I mean the whole time. And she tried to get me to talk. And I couldn't shut her up. I don't like to talk. I don't need to hear how great my dick feels in her every two seconds." I smiled wryly. Husband could stand to be more vocal in bed. But too much talk is very distracting.
"Will you see her again," I asked. "No," he told me, " and you know it's put me off for a while. It was really bad." "Not so eager for your next hook up?" I asked. "No, not so eager right now." "Now you can see why I was always so interested in finding a longer-term partner. When the sex is great it's really hard to let that go. And bad sex... bad sex is just made worse when you've been with someone who's really good."
And then I opened up yahoo messenger and got an offline message from Keith.
1 comment:
just to be clear, having kids is not a sentence to a hallway. You keep up the kegels and people can't tell the difference. (at least so I hear from DH; doesn't really apply to me.)
Ugh, bad sex.
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