Thursday, September 29, 2005

Last Night

I've clearly got PMS. Near as I can tell my horniness is now almost exclusively confined to that time of the month. I've gone so long burying my sexuality, again, that it's only when my hormones get out of control that I really, really want to fuck.

Last night I picked up a book by Emma Holly which was a LOT sexier than I expected. Exploring themes of bisexuality (mostly male), voyeurism, polyamory, ds, and sm. All this in what is coyly called a "romance novel." Ah, it's lovely and all the things I find sexy all rolled up into one. I'm terribly impressed by it and find it startlingly erotic. I came two or three times last night because of it. Desperate for release.

The first time I came, I was reminded how very PMSy I am when my orgasm was followed by a delightfully tingly afterglow... and then tears. Lots of tears. Not those kind I've had after a really good orgasm, caused by the pleasure but rather something strongly related to sadness.

I can't believe I don't have those sexy, exciting times with someone else who might actually ENJOY my desire for them.

But then while on vacation I refused husband sex twice. He hasn't asked since.

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