Monday, October 17, 2005

'Hells wrong with me?!?

So husband's friend and I have e-mailed each other several times. Since then, I came out and told him that "yes, I could have had sex with you the other night... and now it'll never be that easy again!" Which I thought was very kind of me.

I told him that I suspected he'd tried to turn his head when I went to kiss his cheek and he admitted that he'd misread that one and managed NOT to do so in time and was apparently vaguely embarassed about it. Which made me laugh, because at least he's honest. But then makes me consider what could have been. I chose not to tell him that I'd then spent the next couple of minutes catching myself licking that corner of my lips, still feeling his....

Also, I finally laid out my fears about what could happen if we DO have sex... and I haven't heard back from him. I'm not sure what to make of it. I remain afraid that he's going to use me as an excuse to break up with his girlfriend and then months from now inexplicably blame me for luring him away. Which isn't what I told him because that's just a bit more than he needs to know (I hinted at it, though). I told him some other things, too, which I'd hoped he'd brush aside or something. Instead I haven't heard anything. I'm not sure whether he's thinking I'm far too cerebral and expecting about this or if he's had a huge fight with his girlfriend (which he said he might) and is currently overwhelmed with that.

So, we'll see. I'm afraid I've fucked things up terribly....

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