Monday, October 24, 2005

Woke Up

Last night I woke up crying from a dream. I may have been sobbing in my sleep. I seem to remember hearing myself. I dreamed husband died. When I woke up, I comforted myself and went to sleep on my back (where I probably snored, but at least my eyes weren't swollen when I woke up).

When I woke up again, I was thinking about husband's friend. Wondering if he'd e-mailed me back. He did not. Dammit. You'd think he'd have SOMETHING to say... but I get nothing. At least, not today. Not yet. Probably not at all.

I know I'm not his girlfriend (he has one) which makes it a lot easier to stand the silences. But I am SUCH an attention whore. I figure if a guy really wants me he'll keep up the attention. But, as I've said, he's GOT a girlfriend. He's getting laid now and again. I NEED to relax.

I'm also considering that I'll be seeing one of the men at work today who probably wants me. I'm not sure if I find him creepy or what. He's one of those people who doesn't take his eyes off me. Not for more than a second here or there. People like that enjoy their "victim's" discomfort, I think. Because I'm so shy about everything I'm not sure why he even HAS any interest in me. I wonder if I'll ever find out....

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