Frustrated.

I was thinking about the last time husband and I had sex and really, I have no idea, anymore, when it was. Before the trip here. Before October. Before the summer? It's so hard to remember. So no, the husband hasn't been putting out lately anymore than ever. He would have the other night but... I'm pretty much done going down that road with him. In a way I can't even explain.... Like, I can do sexual things with him but... not fucking. Naw. Even kissing has become something I avoid from him. When he wants to kiss me I tend to act much more bored and irritated than I actually am. I don't even know why I do that. Payback for the way he would act when I wanted to fuck?

Whatever the case, I'm increasingly intolerant of him at ALL. I regularly feel like smashing a fist into his face which isn't really a nice feeling. Especially when I know my irritation is completely unfair in most cases. And what's really confusing is I want to be around him and I love the way he makes me laugh (and I love making him laugh, too). I keep wondering if it would be easier if I just labeled him a roommate and tried to think of him in that way completely... if it'd help with my continual irritation or if being stuck with him as a roommate would only make it worse.....

I don't know what I'm thinking, really.

Okay, okay, I was thinking about coming onto him tonight, trying to get him into bed with me in a carnal way. But it just doesn't seem worth the effort and the anger I'd feel at the inevitable rejection....