Monday, January 15, 2007

Work and Desire

So I have a couple of days off. Thursday I go to another job interview for another part time job. Supposedly it's flexible. Hopefully it's as flexible as I need it to be. Something to accommodate my first job.

As for my first job, I spent Saturday and Sunday there and definitely think I like it. There's a fair number of repeat customers that come in, although mostly I recognize the older couples and the women for some reason. Too many of the men, cute or otherwise, seem the same. And I spend a lot of time keeping my eyes peeled for people I went to high school with, hoping NOT to run into any of them....

Meanwhile, I'm starting to feel a lot better. In general. In most parts of my life. Not all of them. But... some. Having a job, getting to be around people, smiling so much my cheeks hurt... it's all good for me. I'm not ALWAYS happy, but I'm happier. And horny.

Last night I could have had sex with husband. But I found myself mostly annoyed. I keep forgetting what a good lover he's proven himself to be the last time or two we've made love (so, so long ago). I think of Keith, mostly. I have short films in my head that I run through sometimes, thinking of the various things I've done with various men... always how they fell short. But I never come up with any of that regarding Keith. Only of the almost endless pleasure we shared.

Hells bells, he's messed me up when it comes to other men.

1 comment:

Tom Paine said...

Regret and longing will eat your toes like rats. The only solution is to get out in the world and fuck, girl! And since your husband's providing good lovin' lately, don't overlook him.